We haven't talked in over a month?

[relaxedsongwriter]

So it's been almost a month since the guy I am into wanted space from me. I have this app that suppose to show you who views your profile and he was top 3 for the whole time until recently and he never unfriended me.

If he never wants to talk to me again why hasn't he unfriended me?

Thoughts?

Thanks

[reptocarl]

Space means breakup. It makes you think he'll want you again at some point in the future which never happens. It also leaves the door open so he can use you as a backup plan till he finds someone else or when he can't find someone to fuck him. You can't possibly be this dumb to not know this at your age

[relaxedsongwriter]

I'm very inexperienced in the dating world and we were never together

[relaxedsongwriter]

I've been rejected more than I have had relationships

[reptocarl]

Don't ever fall for "space" or "break" when those are used it's over. You will also never be friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. Don't ever say "let's be friends" or ask it because it won't happen

[Streamhopper]

Just give him a bit more space; but it shouldn't be indefinite. Wait another week, then send him a simple message; nothing complicated, just a "Hi, how're you doing?" kind of thing. If he responds, follow the lead. If he doesn't, you're probably better off moving on.

[relaxedsongwriter]

He said that he wanted space till January but I'm just not sure if he means he never wants to talk to me again

[relaxedsongwriter]

Sorry I don't know if it means he never wants to talk to me again or he really just wants space for few more weeks. He said I was over complicating his life and he may have saw me cry at work

[Streamhopper]

I think he wants to talk to you; maybe he feels too close to you, maybe he feels pressured, who knows? Only he does, tbh. But you can't put your life on hold forever. That's not fair. He just needs some time to get past whatever is bothering him at the moment.

[relaxedsongwriter]

Thanks I was going to wait till January before I try to talk to him again. I might say happy Birthday and merry Christmas but that's all :)

[relaxedsongwriter]

Your right it's not fair to me.

[Streamhopper]

I'm fine with giving people space if they ask for it; I've done that with my girlfriend at times; proper space strengthens a relationship, but improper space lengthens the end. If there's no desire to continue, asking for space just prolongs the inevitable. And it will increase the pain, since you dutifully waited as asked, only to find out at the end you'd have been further ahead not waiting. You're available and he knows it, so he'll play that to his advantage. Or maybe he really does need time and he'll be back. But how he's feeling doesn't excuse his behavior, and you're within your right to ask for a timeline (but consider what he's going through) from him. That's being polite to who's in your life now.

[relaxedsongwriter]

Thanks :) do you think it's different since we weren't in a relationship but friends getting to know each other and he knew I liked him :)

[Streamhopper]

It shouldn't matter; you're still important in his life, or such was the implication. He can't play both sides of the same field. He has to pick a side to stand on. It's really easy for him to do what he's doing, but the one who suffers is you. You're left to wonder when and if he'll ever come back. A break in a relationship is a chance for both of you to evaluate and develop. If the relationship survives it, it will be stronger for it.

[relaxedsongwriter]

Thanks :)

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's waiting for you to talk to him again. Or he's just stalking you. Guys are weird sometimes.

[Kachatterjee]

There are situations like that. You don't talk for a month and then say sorry to each other and move on together.

[relaxedsongwriter]

Well I asked if we could start over and he said he would think about it for a while. I messaged him the other day and he ignored me :(

[Kachatterjee]

Happens dear. Its ego that is controlling the mind.

[Kachatterjee]

Jus walk into him. Give him a kiss of his life.

[relaxedsongwriter]

Do you think he means he is actually thinking of it or is it true what my step dad said that him saying he wants to think about means no

[Kachatterjee]

It is a tricky question, don't know him, and hence can't suggest. Talk to him. Spend some precious time together, he would try to avoid, don't let him turn away.

[relaxedsongwriter]

Okay thanks :)

[relaxedsongwriter]

He said that he wanted space till January and he's gone for the next two weeks from work. Maybe I should just show up at his house and fight for him? I don't know if he ever liked me even though we spent a lot of time alone together

[Kachatterjee]

Do that.

[relaxedsongwriter]

I was thinking saying I want you in my life and I am not taking no for an answer! Too much?

[relaxedsongwriter]

Maybe it would be better to say I have you the time you requested and now I want you back in my life

[Kachatterjee]

That's cool...

Evwn I almost fell for that 😂