Is it wrong I like possessive guys...?

[Anonymous]

i tend to like the guys that give me reassurance by showing that they love me, or get jealous if they see another guy interested in me...stuff like that...is that wrong? the last relationship was with an abusive guy (he never hit me), but he held me up against the wall with my throat, dragged me by my legs off the sofa, stuff like that - stuff like that...am I just going to keep choosing the abusive guys if I like the possessive ones?

Updates

+1 y

*typo..sorry :)

[Anonymous]

You want to be assured that the guy is really interested.. and to be real - you also enjoy in such way a little ego stroke.. I know.

You're playing with fire but don't want to be burned. You just want some warmth.

Most of guys actually are possessive. And most of girls like it when guys get just a little jealous.

No guy enjoy seeing his girl being hit on by any other male.

And every girl likes to know that some certain guy really is into her.

The problem is that now it's a societal norm not to be "clingy" or "jealous" - so many guys artificially force themselves to "play it cool" - but that's just a surface, not what is within.

And the most of guys who don't play this charade are the abusive, not possessive ones.

That's why you might have a bad luck with it.

So don't set this as a criteria to look for a guy or you'll get in trouble.

[Opinion Owner]

I forgot one extremely important detail - do you purposely provoke jealousy with your actions?

[Asker]

i used to with my first boyfriend yeearrs ago, but I don't anymore

[Opinion Owner]

That's not good.. what I wrote about above was about situations when random guys approach you without your intent.

But as it's what you made.. well.. it's good you don't do it anymore, not just because it's dangerous to you, but it also adds too much stress for a relationship to survive.

Also.. was your last guy abusive because you provoked him?

[Asker]

no, I never did anything to provoke the last boyfriend. he just got really wound up during arguments and when I'd try and leave the flat or go into another room he'd either follow me or stand in front of the door pushing me away so I couldn't get through

[Opinion Owner]

I hope that's true.. but I got such feeling there is a connection to your own behavior and guys being abusive towards you, even since you don't do that anymore as you mentioned.

You said you like to see possessive guys, so maybe you still make guys jealous even with little things while being unaware about it.

Think about it. And good luck.

[WeaponZero]

They are qualities that go hand-in-hand, so it is very likely you will keep ending up with abusive guys unless you break yourself of this. Part of being able to act calmly and rationally and not with anger is in security and self assurance. Meaning he trusts you love him and thus will trust you around other guys.

[cheeky82bloke]

Sounds like you like it. Well good for you. I am sure those kinds of activities make you horny. And, I do not think their is a such a thing as "wrong."

[Asker]

u think the abusive stuff makes me horny?!

[yopyopyop]

A little bit of jealousy is OK.

The real question is : do you provoke these reactions ?

If so, the problem is your behavior , not the guy's.

My two cents.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Tough question to ask, but a valid point.

[Anonymous]

You've got some deep seated psychological and emotional issues. I'm not even joking when I say you should seek therapy immediately.

[Asker]

thats no surprise to me dw! my dad died when I was 15 out of the blue so I kinda know why I'm like this x

[Opinion Owner]

And how do yu think your father would feel about you being involved with guys like this? I'm guessing it would break his heart because he would want you know you're valued and loved.

[Asker]

:( I know

[TouchTheSky]

I am jealous, but I would never hit or do something which will hurt my girl..