If I guy keep insisting would you give him a chance?

[Yeahhbro]

Let say there is a guy who likes you and he is persistent, he doesn't give up even if he is getting the cold shoulder from you, but he just keeps trying and doesn't give up. Would you give him a chance and possibly like him?

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+1 y

Ok girls let me put it this way: So you don't like guys that know what they want, and fight for it no matter what and don't give up on the first obstacle?

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+1 y

Well what if you haven't say NO? Women are never clear, so men always have to guess what they are thinking.

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+1 y

you guys make it seem like it is too easy, when in fact it is not at all. I don't know about you, but most if not all women play hard to get, which could be just like not interested. And they rarely if ever make a move on a guy.

[MrReal]

I'm not a quitter. If I desire something in life I'm persistent and dedicated towards achieving that goal, this isn't for anyone, only the people who want the best out of life live this life. If you seek out 100 opinions on what to do or how to achieve a goal you'll receive 100 different opinions all leaving you confused and in a paradox but the only opinion that matters is your own. Only you can truly discern your own situation. Do you really like this girl or do you have personal issues(desperate/insecure)? Do you have a plan on how to seduce/attract her or are you trying the same thing over and over, again and again? I know girls in high school who were unattractive but now they are either hot or cute or have developed some sort of attractive quality to them that wasn't there years ago. People change, that's a fact. If a girl says "No, your not my type". One of two things must happen you either have to change her ideal image of the perfect guy into your own image or you must achieve her ideal image. Is it possible? Yes, but determination is the key to success along with knowledge. In the paraphrased words of Gene Kranz in the movie Apollo 13 "Failure is not an option". Failure exist only in the people who believe in it, in people who have compromised and settled for less. She will like you if you do all the right thing but you need to know what those things are. So get to know her and make a plan. If she doesn't want to talk to you take a "leap of faith" and do (or don't do) something that will entice her to talk to you. Knowledge is power my friend and determination is how you execute it.

[Evora]

MrReal can I consult with you please?

[Ghibli]

It would make a guy look like a lonely person if he needs to try too hard just to get a woman, cause you'll never see a woman try that hard just to win a man over.

Never ever think of a woman as a golden prize.

[saelym]

I've been in that situation before. Honestly, if she's worth her salt and she's not just getting off on all the attention, a mature woman will tell you flat-out that she is not interested and that you are bothering her.

There is a difference between determined pursuit of what you know you want and harassing someone to get what you want.

After I've been specific and crystal clear about what I want and do not want from a guy (yes, that's right, sometimes women are clear) and he doesn't back off, I get hostile. Persistence annoys me more than anything else. I don't like to be bothered day in and day out. But, when small, honest, kind gestures are made at intervals for a period of time, I'll warm up.

For the record, my current boyfriend pursued me off and on for two years before he found a way to show me that he was serious about wanting a relationship and not just a fling or sexual bragging rights. I made the first move to get his attention, and I gave him my number so that he had the option to step things up. He made a really poor impression with our first conversation, and he managed to make my opinion of him progressively worse until two months before we started dating. What did he do to turn things around? He made mistakes before, yes, but he kept in touch every few weeks. And, when I needed just simple company most, he was there and that was his opportunity to show a better side.

[Anonymous]

so you'll certainly read a lot of answers about how it is creepy and all

To me it really depends on the situation, if , after some time of sending signals to show your interest, you went out of your way to actually ask her out not just as a simple date, but more in a let's be together kind of way, and she said no very clearly, meaning with actual words, like "no, you're not my type" or "i'm not interested in you" and such then don't try ever again. The girl has been clear, insisting will just be rude to her.

However you're talking bout giving the "cold shoulder" which I agree with you is not clear. I know plenty of girls who are guilty of acting disinterested and unimpressed with their crush, even I do that. And guys do it too sometimes.. it's sort of part of the chase. And being persistent in this scenario is just proof to her that you want her, and are not just taking chances. I love a guy who knows what he wants and honestly I find it way sexier.

So in the end, I guess do not give up until she told you with words that she's not interested. I guess the talking about it" each person being clear about it and about how they see it really puts things out there so if it's no then it means no. But don't you just give up because you take guesses that she doesn't like you, cold shoulder and such..

[SixFootSexy]

Well said, if you need help figuring out what she's talking about, I suggest you watch the more "difficult" women in Indiana Jones and James Bond, the hero doesn't let their seeming disinterest phase him, but he also don't make the girl an obsession, he just does his thing and is awesome at it, and the woman ALWAYS comes around... ;-)

[orangasing]

are you sure?i always get cold shoulder, she limited interaction conversation withe her, she doesn't want stay too long with me, she is being nice and polite, don't reject me directly, do you think its appropriate if I am keep continue approaching her, I need to skip and not too intense. do you think its worth I am doing approaching and do some flirts?

[pr3ttybr0wn]

No. He's desperate, overbearing and being rude. If I'm giving him the cold shoulder, why can't he move on? Doesnt anyone else like him? why doesn't he respect the fact that I obviously don't want to date him? You don't get an A for effort, you just get ignored or harshly rejected.

Women are clear, you're just refusing to see what she's sending. A woman who is interested in dating you, would not give you the cold shoulder once you've made it clear you want to date her. Nobody plays hard to get like that. Sometimes men tell themselves "she's just playing hard to get" because it's easier for their ego to deal with rather than the truth SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU.

[Yeahhbro]

ok qhat if I haven't said it?

[embemm99]

Thats how I met my boyfriend... to be honest he wasn't to persistent - if he msged me he didn't message again until I replied... although he did ask me on a date about 6 times before I said yes. (he is a great guy but I was scared of getting hurt so I continued to turn him down) as long as she is still in conversation and is nice and only turning down meeting up then go for it... if she is just being rude/not replying - she is not at all interested and most probably just enjoys your msgs for the attention.

[Yeahhbro]

true it seems girls didn't understand the question though lol

[Albertbrs]

Wow, I mostly disagree with a lot of girls have said, as long as you don’t invade her space, that should be fine, If she answer you back, is not out of pity, believe me, they would totally stop texting you back the very same day, maybe you just need something to really get her, something to move her, I repeat don’t be invasive, but demonstrate that you are there for her, girls are very complex, and probably most of the answers are based in bad experiences that they had, ‘cause the guy crossed the line, good luck!

[She-wolf]

If he doesn't stop bothering you when you've given him the cold shoulder, it means he's desperate and its very unattractive, not to mention creepy and stalkerish.

If the woman is playing hard to get, then if you stop bothering her after she gives you the cold shoulder, she will pursue you if you she's interested.

If she's genuinely not interested, then forget it. You can't make someone like you by continuing to annoy them. It makes you seem like a desperate loser. There are other girls out there.

[Yeahhbro]

forget it, women never almost never chase men anyways, and if they they are so subtle that they are never clear signs, and those signs are just calls for you to approach them, which makes them even more confusing.

[She-wolf]

Hey, did it ever occur to you that maybe the fault lies with you and your profound lack of social skills? Why don't you try improving in that department instead of blaming women for being "too subtle"? Oh by the way, if she's not chasing you after you leave her alone, it doesn't mean that women don't chase men. It means she's genuinely not into you and you should look elsewhere. Why is it so hard for you to accept that?

[anony84]

There is a difference between being persistent and being annoying. Being persistent and going after what you want is great but if the person you want doesn't want you, then you've crossed over into the annoying stage.

If I've already decided that I don't like a guy, then him chasing after me, asking me out again and again day after day is not going to make me change my mind. In fact it will probably just go from tolerance to annoyance to creeped out and then possibly a restraining order if he clearly does not understand the word 'no.'

[Yeahhbro]

ok what if she hasn't say no? You see women are never clear and always leave guys guessing on what you want or not. Some guy told me the only way to know, its if she says No.

[anony84]

Not all women are unclear or rather maybe she thinks she's being clear but you're just not reading her right. Sometimes you feel bad for saying 'look buddy, I'm not interested' so you try to be polite and hope that he takes the hint by being cold to him. You already said that she's giving you the cold shoulder. That's pretty clear - if she was interested in you, she wouldn't be cold to you and no she's probably not playing hard to get. Even she was, she would show SOME interest but she's not.

[Yeahhbro]

she could be playing hard to get, which looks just like being not interested.

[Yeahhbro]

ot she could be shy too, see its not as easy as you make it to be.

[anony84]

or .. she could just be not interested. Look, if you really want to keep trying, then there's nothing we can do to stop you. But please just don't be surprised if she ends up rejecting you flat out because imo she's not playing hard to get - she really is just not interested.

[Spangle]

She is not interested . Get the message .

[Rabia]

If I say him no but he keeps trying and fight for me then yes.. it's very possible that I may start liking him and give him chance. Most girls ( even if they says they don't like it) like when boy keeps trying and is persistent. I don't like also showing him early that I like him .. he should try a little before having me.

[Yeahhbro]

:)

[Spangle]

The last time a guy did this to me I had to take him to one side and tell him to leave me alone .or I would contact the police . Asking twice , OK . Showing interest in a non threatening way beyond that ... OK . Go too far past that and you're on the road to stalkerville ,

[Rabia]

Ok , if I say no 100 times and show no interest and he still does it - I don't like it. But I i tell him NO few times and he gives up just so easily? I think that it's true that "Woman is fickle" , and I advice him to not give up.. she may change her opinion if she sees how much he tries

[ananyme]

Well if by giving you the cold shower you mean saying no to any activities ud ask me to do with you, or expressing clearly that there's nothing that will ever happen between us, and that I'm only agreeing on being friends then what you call persistence is just a lack of self esteem. If I haven't been good enough to see how much of a great you were just go for someone else !

And I'm always clear on those things, I would not want to make the both of us loose time texting or whatever if you only want to date me and that I dont.

Now, what we aren't telling you is that, and that's natural, we will be sad when u'll stop chasing us cause you were always there, that thing that shows us how interesting etc we are, so some girls might get after you for the wrong reasons when u'll stop being "persistent" but if they have enough self esteem and respect for you they won't use you to feel worthy. Usually they don't either make the cold shower clear

[Yeahhbro]

no when I mean cold shoulder I mean a silence, and not a clear NO for an answer. See what I mean? This is why as a guy I have to be persistent until I hear a flat out no, because women are never ever clear. They could be playing hard to get, shy or not interested. Can you actually see a difference? I don't think so.

[ananyme]

Well I know I can look like a quiet person and I'm not pretending to be hard to get but since getting a boyfriend isn't in my priorities right now it makes me hard to get, that's my reputation at least, and I still say no. If you're asking me out and don't answer or say idK then there might be a chance for you but usually we aren't that complicated.

But yes we could play that, maybe more girls would stop if those werent proven techniques though... Stop contacting her, if she's acting, she will get back to u

[Skyler123]

Hmm...If he's not creepy and is nice to me all the time then I might give in. If he's an all around genuinely nice person then I probably would give in and go on one date with him. I possibly could end up liking him too. I think that being a LITTLE persistent is a good thing, it shows that you're not easily discouraged and it shows just how determined you are to get what you want. Which is a good trait to have. A lot of men give up so easily these days. lol

[Yeahhbro]

that's what I mean lol

[Dulcet_Darling]

I just wanted to comment on this question because I am in a situation where this guy at my college just isn't getting the message. I'm sure that every girl feels differently about this, but I don't like it when a guy is too persistent. When I make a decision, I usually don't change my mind so asking multiple times is just annoying.

Why waste his time when I am clearly not attracted to him and know I will never be attracted to him? I hope I don't see him again just because I hate dealing with him. He also makes me extremely uncomfortable. I used to be able to talk to him normally before he confessed but now I am just trying to get through the short conversations we have when we happen to see each other. His presence stresses me out.

[sweet_18]

I like persistence. I actually think persistent men are more desirable than those who aren't. The fact that you are persistent is attractive because it shows that you're not afraid to go after what you want.

I've been tempted to give in to persistence from a guy. Because obviously he really likes me and people are naturally inclined to like those who like them. But whether or not I do give in depends on the circumstances. Are there other guys I'm interested in? How much do I actually like this guy? etc.

[Anonymous]

honestly you need to just be a normal person and meet a girl the right way...by networking and friendship don't jump to flirting right away or ask her out being a complete stranger, you have to get to know someone first and form a friendship to build interest in them.

if you're complete strangers with this girl, then no she will not give you a chance because she doesn't KNOW you. its creepy and annoying and obsessive.

but your just casual and introduce yourself and keep things chill become her friend then you have a better chance of it going somewhere. you have to build interest.

[heatherlu]

No.

I've had guys like this - and honestly - it creeps me out.

Trying again after one knock-back or unanswered phone call or something like that - sure - that's fine. But continual persistence when she shows no actual signs of wanting to get with you - i.e saying yes to a date - then that's a complete turn off. Learn when to stop. If she says nothing - she means no. She's not being coy or playing hard to get; especially over a long period of time.

[Spangle]

This

[VeinsofGlitter]

No way, it would only be irritating. except in rare cases, no means no. Hanging around and being persistent won't help his case. No one likes to be hounded especially by someone they are just not attracted to. In high school a guy would walk past my math class window 100 times trying to get my attention. He definitely got everyone elses, but I would refuse to look at him. It's NOT a good idea.

[JanJan]

Although it's very attractive to see that a guy knows what he wants and is able to take the innitiative, I want him to respect my decisions. If I turn someone down, it is because I am not attracted to them and/or do not see myself dating them. So there are very few things that could change my mind unless my origional views of him were wrong. But simply asking a girl out over and over will probably not change her mind.

[Anonymous]

Women are fairly clear, they just don't like to be out-right rude. Unfortunately, some guys only understand out-right rude reactions like, "Get away from me now and don't come back." And, of course, when girls DO answer that way, they're referred to as b*tchy. There's no pleasing some people...

[Yeahhbro]

no way you are clear.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not?

[Yeahhbro]

you as in Women not you you

[Opinion Owner]

Oh. Well, some are and some aren't, lol. I asked a question about guys which is really similar: link

[AshleyB19]

Well, it depends...I like when a guy puts up some effort to gain me, but what is too much is too much...I have this very unpleasant experience with a guy that lived next door and when I moved in he asked me out. I kind of liked him and I wanted to get to know him more, so we went out few times. Nothing happened, I didn't let him, I just didn't feel like it yet. Well, and by that time he became incredibly annoying. He started showing up at my doorstep almost everyday, we bumped into to each other at least twice a day and of course it was a "coincidence". So there is persistence and persistence. Don't let it turn into stalking.

[artimis]

for me it depends on my situation and the things that guy is doing as you described persistence

i mean if I'm busy with life or I have some other people in my mind, if he shows me he really likes me and his tries are not like desperate guys, then I would give him a chance

but if he tries desperately and with no logic, then it sounds crazy to me, and I would just wait till he passes!

[Anonymous]

there's a difference from being persistent and being annoying/not taking a hint. Sometimes guys won't give up just to satisfy their egos. But I like a guy who can get back up and try again, it shows he really wants it... just don't cross the line to creepy and annoying.. there's a fine line

[Twincapersred]

No it's really really awkward when guys don't accept no! If a guy won't stop trying it makes me avoid him at all costs! Why would you do that to someone? Just accept the no

[Twincapersred]

If a girl says no to your face then it will 99.9% of the time remain a no- it's not "an obstacle" it's a no

[think_of_the_bubble]

If nothing that you say or do is working, show her a different side of you that she didn't see before... so that she will give you a chance...

When people think they have you figured out, that's when they lose interest.

[TheRealAttila]

Nah man its creepy, let it go. Fighting for what you want's great when it's not at the expense of a girl feeling uncomfortable, and saying you'll fight for her no matter what makes you sound like a stalker.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

No, trust me it only makes you look like a creep/stalker. I would say just walk away.

[Misty_04]

To be completely honest...no. You need to back off and let them miss you (or the attention). Trust me.

[taurene]

Dont feel bad my fiance pursued me for 7 months while I deal with my own issues before I was ready to say yes to a relationship with him. I made him wait but it was worth it for the both of us.

[Anonymous]

The answer really depends you see. If the girl LIKES you, then she wants you to try again but only in a cool suave way--not like a crazy-ass stalker. If the girl DOESN'T like you, she wants you to leave her the hell alone and not bother her again, because she'd rather be approached by a guy she's interested in having sex with at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anything that isn't a "Yes" is a no. They are just trying to spare your feelings by humming and hawing.

[Yeahhbro]

of what if she is playing hard to get?

[Opinion Owner]

Those girls aren't worth it.

[Spangle]

Just leave her , she isn't.

[Shmiley]

Honestly, I didn’t think I would. I was far from interested in my fiancée. He tried for 7 months until I finally thought “if he’s trying this hard to be with me, then maybe I should see what he’s all about.” He knew what he wanted lol because a month later I ended up pregnant, both our fault, but it was the best thing to happen. We didn’t become serious until after our baby was born and now more than 2 years later we are on number 2 going to get married and in love.

[Amorina]

Yes. The thing that would hold me back from giving a guy a chance is fear of getting hurt. If he showed me that he was really serious by asking me multiple times, I would totally say yes.

[kholland65]

I still don't understand this "fear of getting hurt" mentality. Where does it come from? What are you afraid of? being abused, raped, cheated on, broken up with? Care to explain?

[Skyler123]

@Kholland65 I'm kind of surprised that you don't know what she means. How old are you? Many people have been hurt in past relationships because that person broke their heart. That's what she means someone may have rejected her or cheated on her, or even abused her. It varies from person to person. Everyone has been hurt in some way how they may have been hurt is different but all of us have one thing in common. We've all been hurt and it feels terrible. No one wants to go through that again.

[Amorina]

I am physically insecure so I have this fear of being left for someone hotter than me. In addition, my first boyfriend cheated on me so I am afraid of that happening again.

[Skyler123]

Well then before you even pursue another relationship you need to resolve these issues. Its so bad when people get into a relationship and they have these major insecurities that they haven't gotten over yet. Their SO has to suffer because of it and its not really fair. Work on improving your self first. Work out and get into shape. As far as your ex cheating on you and dealing with that its just something you're going to have to take a risk on if you ever want to date again.

[Skyler123]

Also you look super pretty in your pic I don't see why you'd be so insecure. Anyway just workout if you're not happy with your weight. I just started back going to the gym and even though its been a couple of days I feel great and feel proud of myself for starting something I know will better benefit me in the future.

[Amorina]

One of the reasons why I am NOT in relationship right now...

And, thank you for the compliment.

[ayelen]

It's a complete turn off if a guy persecutes me... there's no excuse. An interesting guy isn't after me all day and less if I turned him down.

[Anonymous]

No, just because a guy is persistent doesn't mean that he's going to "wear me down" into accepting his attention. Some guys are just creepy.

[upood]

If I avoid you purposely then no, but if I just ignore you then maybe.

[moviedude714]

nope, generally once a gir's decision is made about a guy, whether she is attracted to him or not, it is likely to stay that way

[bellybuttonlint]

You went from an honest question asker to a borderline stalker type.

[genericname85]

dude if you´re not attracte at all, the other person can try all they want xD it´s not gonna happen.

[Yesits_GalaxyHotChoc]

Depends how much I like him back, and how persistent he is.

[Anonymous]

lol! No, that would only encourage stalkers and creeps, wouldn't it?

[Yeahhbro]

not necessarily

[Yeahhbro]

a stalker and a creeper is somebody who follows a girl around and that pretty much watches her without saying exactly what they mean or trying to have sexual favors or making her uncomfortable with strange comments.

[Opinion Owner]

3 girls so far have said no, but clearly I don't know what I'm talking about...

[Spangle]

Walk away , walk away :)