Why does my boyfriend not take care of his child?

[Anonymous]

This has been bothering me for a while. My boyfriend of 3 years has a 7 y/o child who lives with his parents. he has no intention of having her live with us. He wants a life with just me and him. I have grown children so they don't live with us. Should I worry about this? We have a good relationship but this bothers me.

[Reggie1]

That depends on whether you plan on having children with him. I don't know the full story behind his relationship with the child's mother, but that can have a major psychological impact on treatment of the kids

Maybe he is scared of being a poor father and wanted to make sure the child had the best chance in life. There are many reasons a guy will abandon his children, and in truth, none of them are entirely good. It is a completely different relationship to the one you have though.

[Asker]

the parents have sole custody of his daughter, I am older and will not have any more children

[fromcaliwithlove]

i don't agree with it either but I believe that he might not be happy with the fact that he couldn't have the normal family thing going on and doesn't want the back and forth with the baby's mom. Seems he wants a fresh start. Can you take a look at my question too, thanks.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

A guy who does not want to take care of his child is a scumbag.don't be desperate for a man like a lot of women and overlook this glaring problem just so you can be with him. That is and should be unforgivable.idk how you can even consider dating someone like that. A man who has no problems abandoning his children has no moral code and is capable of anything. I can'tbelieve women date men like this...honestly its hard for me not to judge them as well

[zygi128]

can he not get custody from his parents (though it sound like he doesn't want it anyway)?

i wouldn't want to be with someone that can't handle the responsibility of being a parent.

he is being selfish putting his wants (you) over the needs of his child.

[justme20]

Try not to get pregnant by this bum. Chances are he will leave and not take care of your child. Boys don't take care of their responsibilities but men do. So drop the boy and get yourself a man

[6Paul11]

You're 25-29 with grown children? That doesn't add up, unless you had a baby when you were 10...

Anyways, him not wanting to take care of his kid reflects poorly on his character.

[Asker]

i had my twins young when I was 16

[6Paul11]

So they're not really "grown" then.

[bDizzie]

I don't get it, if you had twins at 16 and you are 25-29 then your kids are 9-13. And they don't live with you? How's that any different?

[Asker]

I have been trying to change the age bracket to 30 to 40 but it won't let me I am 33

[snowboarder720]

sooo, have you tried telling him you prefer to have the child around more?

[Asker]

yes but he says his parents will not give her up,

[snowboarder720]

well seeing that YOUR this childs legal gardian, not the parents. It's your child, not theirs. Your child, your responsibility. Don't let anybody stop you from spending time with your kid. Nobody.

[papercut2]

Cause you're dating a deadbeat, nothing else to say really

[Anonymous]

cuz taking care of children is a woman's job.