I'm having a hard time reading this girl. How can you tell the difference between flirting for fun and flirting for intent?

[Anonymous]

OK, so over the past few months, there's been this girl who has definitely been flirting with me over and over again (her face lights up whenever she sees me, she teases me a bit, she's made plenty of physical contact with me like hitting me on my shoulder and kissing me on the cheek, sitting on my lap on numerous occasions over the course of a night, lots of laughing, eye contact, her and her friends, one of whom has also flirted a ton with me, looking over at me while talking, etc.)

It would seem like she's interested in me, but she's kind of a naturally flirty girl. I've seen her flirt with some other guys, too, but not nearly to the same degree as I've seen her flirt with me at all. Like she might dance for a bit with a guy at a party and talk with them but not much more. She's kinda out of my league, so add that to the flirting with other guys, I have doubts.

So, my question is two-fold: One, based on what I've said, do you think I have a shot with this girl? And two, how can I tell if a girl is flirting for fun or flirting with intent?

[kaylaS91]

To answer your first question, I think you've got a shot with her. I don't really believe in being out of someone's league or really having a type, seeing as how when I started talking to my current boyfriend my first thought was that he was cool due to him being in all respects opposite of my 'type'. As you continue to spend time around someone and you get to know each other better, you'll either click and have chemistry or not and that usually overshadows being in someone's league or not.

To answer your second question, you usually can't tell for sure. It does depend on the girl, though it doesn't help that the girl in your case is flirty with a lot of guys.

I would recommend just asking her out for drinks. Ask her to join you, tell her that you think she sounds interesting and you'd like to get to know her better. That's what my boyfriend did after we had been talking for only a month, and it's a pretty harmless move that will help move any potential with this girl in the right direction.

[Anonymous]

that's always tough, i know plenty of people who are super friendly and always appear to be flirting when they really aren't.
I think the key is to look for the differences between how she treats you and how she treats other guys. usually a lot of physical contact means flirting but if she does that to all guys then she's just super comfortable. but does she touch you in a different way? maybe she always "hits" and play-punches them but has a softer touch with you?
If its true that she doesn't flirt with them to the same degree then you might be good.

[ya_sure]

Well girls are evil and I flirt just because. But if she is going out of her way and coming up to talk to you, also if she makes a lot of physical contact she most likely likes you. Start reciprocating her actions if you are interested and go from there. But you defiantly have a shot

[kheserthorpe]

do you think I have a shot with this girl? And two, how can I tell if a girl is flirting for fun or flirting with intent?

Sure. You have a shot. Its no sure thing, but you have a shot.

How can you tell? You escalate till you get shot down or... the opposite of shot down.

[Metlahead]

Anonymous is right. But I want to add that if she is comfortable around you like that, then it doesn't matter, you should go for it anyway. Maybe she is just flirting innocently now, but telling her you like her might spark her interest more.

[Metlahead]

Girls like guys who know what they want, and go for it.

[Anonymous]

Well, I just have to say that you shouldn't assume she's out of your league. Sometimes those perceptions aren't accurate (and obviously aren't here if she's flirting with you).

So, as to your questions:
1. Yes, I think you have a shot with her.
2. The only way to find out is to ask her out.

[melissa2]

If she flirts with most guys, then I wouldn't get my hopes up. But if she really just flirts with you, then it sounds like she likes you. It actually sounds more like she's just promiscuous.

[heyworlditsme]

you have a shot