Difference between flirting with a girl and actually liking her?

[Anonymous]

1. So there are guys who are flirts and they casual flirt with their female friends and other girls...but usually its obvious that they're flirts and its just for fun, right? or are they often confusing and leading their females friends on? (whether that's intentional or not)

2. So what about guys who aren't "flirts" but are outgoing, friendly, goofy, etc. do they still just flirt for the fun of it, or only when they like a girl?

If you can't tell already...I can't figure out a guy and whether he likes me or not haha. If he was a shy guy, I could totally tell if he liked me...but he's not haha. I'm about 50-75% sure that he's flirting...but I can't figure out if its just him being him or if he likes me.

[Anonymous]

flirting is often just for fun. there is some attraction but he doesn't want to necessarily pursue it. if he is getting your number, contacting you, wanting to spend time with you, he could like you. but, liking doesn't even necessarily mean he will become your boyfriend.

flirting for fun is those guys who will flirt with you when you are around each other but not make an effort to spend time and talk to you otherwise. unfortunately girls mistake this for him being seriously interested and run after him, which usually does not end well.

[Asker]

this helps, thanks. It seems like he's the flirting just for fun type...when we're together he'll tease me or act goofy and other things. but he never initiates conversations throughout the year. plus, we go to different colleges so I see that as one reason (long distance) that would cause him to not want a relationship

[MrOracle]

Flirting means "attraction." But "attraction" doesn't necessarily mean "love/infatuation/emotional connection", it often just means lust/sex.

Guys who are in love or have an emotional connection generally want a committed relationship with you, while guys who don't will just wand a friendship, sex, or FWB.

[Asker]

so it could be that he's attracted to me/likes me in a way but maybe not enough for him to want to date me?

[MrOracle]

Absolutely. Remember this: EVERY guy who finds you attractive will desire, at some level, to have sex with you. That's how men work, and that's true of even the guys who like you and want a real relationship with you. The difference is that only a percentage of guys will want the relationship; all the others JUST want sex.

It's up to YOU to seperate the two, and you generally do that by making them wait and commit to a relationship before having sex. "Just sex" guys will run away.

[Asker]

well, I think this is more of a "flirt with a friend" vs "flirt with a girl I want to date" issue than a "just wanting sex" vs "wanting a relationship" issue.

[MrOracle]

Could be. Some people like to flirt because it's fun and a bit of an ego boost to get a girl/guy to respond to their flirting.

[Asker]

if you have time to kill, you could read the links I included in a comment below...it might shed a better light on this particular situation haha.

[adamcdavis]

how can you tell if a shy guy is flirting I'm curious because I'm a sort of shy guy and I'm not even aware of how I flirt with girls lol.

[Asker]

haha well I just meant that if he had a shy personality and was doing the things he is doing, it would definitely be clear that he's flirting. (he teases me a lot haha) but the way shy guys flirt is pretty hard to read haha. I would say usually shy guys flirt by trying to be near the girl as much as possibly but not make it obvious that they like her. depending on how shy they are, they may be friendly and talk (just a little) or they may just stare haha.

[semifastrunner]

What are some of the ways that he is flirting with you?

[Asker]

this link has four links to questions that give detail about him. and this link is more recent about a trip we were just on

[semifastrunner]

Not knowing the guy and those interests that you refer to (Mamma Mia and Karaoke) at first he seems like a creeper. He likes you, but doesn't want to take any risk of showing it too much so his actions come off as confusing sometime. At this pace he will eventually tell you he has feelings for you.

[Asker]

haha I'm confused as to why you think he's a bit creepy...?

so you think down the road something might happen between us...if I show enough interest back, maybe? haha

[semifastrunner]

I think he is already interested enough. I think he is waiting for a time that he can be more intimate with you. Try to create more one on one opportunities with him like having him help you with a project or go shopping.