Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)

pervertedjester

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A.K.A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)



Now we all know Depression sucks. It's mental quicksand. I've dealt with the sand in my head for many years and have heard many opinions on how to deal with it. Depression is largely a private affair. For a Guy it's never talked about and I have always gone to great lengths to ignore the condition. Except when I was forced twice to seek "help" for it, but that's another story. "Still how does one deal with it without paying someone to mind-fuck you into blaming everyone else?" That was my question after my second go round with the PHD Zombie Docs (No offense to any actuall Zomibes out there). And I've come up with three ways to combat depression. To be fair I've only tried this on myself because I refuse to eat someone else's brain for "professional" validation. (Sorry but next to Medical Doctors, Zombie Docs are second on my hate list.) The three ways I fight depression are as follows:


Step One: Laughter. It's pretty obvious but that's why it's the first step. I've memorized a lot of funny info over the years. Anything from Stand-up, Movies, Family, Friends, Misadventures in Dating that I find amusing goes into the vault for quick access. Thanks to my wonderful mind, any time I get sad or depressed I automatically flash on something from the funny vault. Examples being: I can recite Ace Ventura 2 line for line.

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


I can remember that one time I dropped my pants for no reason other than getting a laugh on a busy street when I was 14.

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


Or the time my brother threw our cats out the second story window to see if they really always landed on their feet. (He was 7 and he threw a pillow out first for them to land on)


Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


I can vividly recall being 16 and dating a girl named Brandy who told me she had a picture of herself wearing a sexy teddy. I bugged her for days to show me the picture! When she finally did it was her in a teddie t-shirt

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


Sam Kinison has always pulled me out of a funk by watching this bit


Step two: Acting like a Kid. This came about by trying to figure out if I was ever truly depressed as a kid. I came up with a big resounding NO! So I started doing the things I did as a kid. Coloring free-style! Who needs a book?? An amatuer that's who! No lines on a blank page. I can scribble to my hearts content. I can Doodle, which is really just organized scribbling. I can even draw the mountains or the sea should I feel artisticly inclined.

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


Play-doh is another good outlet though I still fight the urge to eat it...it's dough right?? (Why else did they make this!)

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


Break out the Sega and curse my ineptitude at Sonic the Hedgehog...HOW THE HELL CAN HE LOSE ALL THOSE DAMN RINGS AT ONCE! AND WHAT ARE THEY FOR?!

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


Or even go full on Truman Show Mode!

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


****Warning Step Three is a LAST resort!!****


Step Three: Music. Remember all those songs that used to get stuck in your head a lot? Well pissing yourself off by getting them stuck in your head again can cancel depression with anger. Steal my Sunshine


Don't Worry Be Happy


Never Gonna Give You Up


And even the Great Nuke Button of all songs.... It's A Small World After All!


These aren't cures but in my life they've become tools for lessening the severity/duration of depression. Sure the underlying issues are still there but I know me better than a Zombie Doc and this works for me! Hope it helps someone else out there too.... Dammit That Last Stupid Song is in my head!!!!

Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)


Who Needs A Zombie Doc when I have me! (A. K. A. Dealing with Depression My Way.)
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