Guy's Behavior

Homework as an Avoidance Mechanism

Yes, you read that right – not avoiding doing homework but using homework to avoid something else.



Homework as an Avoidance Mechanism



I’ll start back at highschool:


In between classes there would be about 10 minutes before the next class started. What do you do during that time? I’m not a skilled conversationalist, far from it, so I don’t know what to say, how to interact. To avoid my social ineptness, I would pick at some homework, maybe study a little bit. There are benefits to this – I’ve done well academically – but it leaves an emptiness too.


After school (evenings and weekends):


Yeah, I didn’t have much of a social life (still don’t for that matter) so of course my homework got done – it helped to pass the time. I’ve never been one for parties, and I can honestly say that I don’t know how to hang out with people.


University/college:


Same deal here, and if any of you have gone to university, or currently attending university, then you know that the workload increases a lot. So, I dug myself into a deeper hole. Again, there are benefits to this – I got good marks, awards, and a few scholarships – but still that emptiness.


Alcohol:


It’s said to be a social lubricant, so once I was old enough to drink I got into it (still in university at the time). It was interesting at times but I’ve found that if you’re not a social butterfly before drinking then you’re not going to be one afterwards. It can modify yourself, but there has to be something there to modify in the first place – it won’t create a 180 degree turn in your personality. Based on my experiences, I’ll say that alcohol isn’t worth the hangovers and blackouts.


After graduation:


After graduating highschool and university I’ve found that I’ve lost contact with most classmates – it seems that school was the only thing that kept us together. My inability to connect with people became readily apparent. Oddly, I felt a little bit better. Here’s how it is: if I’m by myself when I’m alone then I’m alright. If I’m surrounded by people when I’m alone then that’s when I really feel alone because that makes me question why I’m alone, why I can’t connect with people. So after graduation, I found myself alone but I didn’t feel alone as much as when I was surrounded by people.


Work life:


I haven’t found work at what I studied for yet. Until I do, I’m currently working at a Tim Horton’s part time. Back in school, homework was an avoidance mechanism, and it carries over in a way to work. Whenever things slow down, I’m always looking for something to do; something to be re-stocked, something to be cleaned, etc., because I don’t know how to interact with my co-workers, I don’t know what to say. Once I leave this place, I’ll probably lose contact with most/all of them. Like how school keeps classmates together, work keeps co-workers together. Take that away, and without being able to connect with people, then your relationships vanish as if they weren’t there to begin with.


GirlsAskGuys:


I found this website about three months ago, and I think I’ve stumbled onto something good. It gives me a way to interact with people, I like asking questions, getting responses, and giving opinions. Is this website a good way to make connections with people? Well, there are followers and then there are friends – I can’t say I’ve made any friends yet but I like coming here to interact with people.


This myTake was a fairly personal one for me. Perhaps some of you can relate to it or perhaps you can give some advice. If you have any suggestions on making connections, online or in real life, then lay it on me. I don’t want to be stuck avoiding my social ineptness.


Homework as an Avoidance Mechanism


Homework as an Avoidance Mechanism
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