Do Men Miss Us As Much As We Miss Them?

[Anonymous]

Let's say you've been really good friends with a girl, strong connection and everyday you tell each other that you love each other, talk for hours and know that eventually you want to be in a relationship but you want to be friends first. So everything's going great for the past couple of months in the friendship area and you tell each other you want to be together, You talk about everything and anything and have the same sense of humor. It's great.

And have even started talking about intimate, sexual things.

How is it possible for a guy to out of the blue just tell you on IM "I met someone else" and that's it. Nothing else, not one other word. Not even a call to apologize for being an asshole. No explanation when the night before you were describing future plans with me?! WTF!

Explain the male brain because I'm going crazy here trying to understand this. I'm not contacting him at all to question him, I'm staying far far far away. But I would like to know if a guy would miss me after all we shared in the past couple months. Did I get played? I mean, why would you bother calling me 2-3 times a day for long talks if you were just playing me?!

Updates

+1 y

Jonathan, it was his decision to be friends first because of his past experiences, also we live 1 1/2 away from each other. But the really frustrating part is that the night before he said he met someone else, he was still talking about a future with me.

[Kaleina]

Did you ever meet this guy IRL? It sounds to me like he didn't necessarily play you, but instead, you filled some void he was missing from past relationships and you were supplying it in great amounts. Then he got physical and moved on.

Men definitely go through similar phases of break ups as women do, they just don't dwell on it as much as we do. He'll come across something that reminds him of you, and within the next minute he's wondering what the scores will be on this weekends game. Doesn't mean you didn't play a big role in his life, it just means he's male.

I really don't believe you got played, I'd prefer to believe that you and he had a chance at something great, but neither of you moved passed first base. You are much better off sharing that belief than sitting around playing the "what if" game. Until you hear directly from him, on why - you know nothing and the "what ifs" are simply going to drive you insane. Let it go - meet your someone else and have a ball with life!

[CUDAGTO]

I would miss you, only because I would not tell something I didn't feel. As for his feelings. Who knows dear! I think he liked you, and was working on being with you, I also think he saw someone that immediately caught his eye, and she was wanting to move at a faster pace than you did. This would explain the sudden someone else, since you were only friends he might not think he owes you an apology. It is possible you got played, I don't know, what I do know is that he wasn't really sure about a future with you even if he spoke of it.

[ionlife]

* <- That is the male brain. Just kidding.

As Kaleina asked, did you meet in real life or was this an online romance?

If the latter, relationships develop and end as fast as a message window opens and closes. I don't think it is per se a guy thing since nothing truly materializes until you meet each other.

If this was in real life then you most likely got played and he was simply following a script to see whether he could get a girl to like his fake persona.

[Jonathan]

This one is a little confusing. Why didn't you two date? It's hard to tell from the first paragraph, so I can't figure it out either. If he had been wanting to date you and you wouldn't date him, then it would make sense for him to hang around and then disappear once he found someone who would. But that doesn't seem to be what you're saying?

[Jonathan]

Hmm. It sounds like he's got some baggage, which is why he is reluctant and why he flaked out on you. My guess is this new gal won't last long, but, either way, he's avoiding you because he feels bad about how he acted.

[Superstrength79]

He sounds like a player to me. At least he broke up with you instead of leading you on while going out with the other women too. It sounds like he was in a rush to have sex with someone, and he met some random girl who was easy.

[kingbrother]

Yes we do.