Can't seem to figure him out, what's really going on here?

[Anonymous]

We met at work and it was friendly. My contract ended so now he calls me ever now and then, maybe 2-3 weeks apart, wanting to hang out. We don't have a full conversation, he just asks to hang out, so the phone call is literally less than five minutes long. The first time he asked I said yes but then the day before that date, I saw him and he didn't seem excited or happy to see me so I concluded that he was probably just bored and never really wanted to be with me so that date never happen. Then he calls me like 3 weeks later telling me he is still waiting on the date. But why? Every time he calls me he just does not seem into it or me for that matter. Now he called me yesterday wanting to hang out after work but I was home already so it didn't happen. I guess what I'm asking after all of that is why would a seemingly disinterested guy keep asking to hang out with me when he is, as I said, not interested? I don't get it! What's the motive here? I don't trust it...

[WoIIie]

He could be a bit more expressive, and you must refrain from drawing conclusions when YOU DONT KNOW THE FACTS.

When you bailed on the date, you think that had no effect on him? Maybe he's being cautious because he's hanging by a thread and doesn't want to fall. He still wants to get to know you, hence the calling. I don't see how he's the issue here, when getting you to go on a date is like pulling teeth..

And again, put yourself in his shoes. If you arranged a date and your guy shows up at your house the morning of, before you hit the shower, before you're even ready to look at yourself in the mirror, you wouldn't be ecstatic, would you? That's called BAD TIMING. Timing can be BAD for a million reasons and you just can't be sure what the reason is. When you set a date, stick to it. This would have been concluded already if you just followed through and went on the date, instead of drawing a stupid conclusion like you did.

I remember picking up a girl for a date and she lived in a different town that I was SOMEWHAT familiar with. I didn't use GPS and made the wrong turn, and I was 5 minutes late. We were texting back and forth as I scrambled to get back on track, and she finally said "IF YOU DONT WANT TO DATE ME, JUST SAY IT!" Like, seriously? I thought I was lucky to have an opportunity with a beautiful girl like her, and I was. Yet, she somehow drew the absolute WRONG conclusion because she didn't know the FACTS. Stop doing that, and maybe you'll be fine.

[Asker]

I hear you but let me clear up the date thing. I was willing to go even after running into him with that attitude he had. However, what happened was that we had decided on the day, time but not the place where we would hang out. So naturally I expected him to call and say "hey, this is where we should go or this is where we should meet" but he never did. And before you say I could have too, he had promised the day before to make those arrangements, so I didn't feel the need to. Plus, he asked me out so its up to him, I think. He then calls me two days later asking me what happened to me on that day (the day of the date i.e.). So technically I didn't cancel the date, it just never happened! I can appreciate "bad timing" but I've just never felt that he was interested in me before so its hard to comprehend him asking me out all of a sudden.

[WoIIie]

Forget it. Just say no. It won't work even if you went on a date. Too many excuses from both sides. What a joke.

[Asker]

Wait, back up, what excuses have I made?

[Masamii]

he is interested if he keeps initiating it. just go with him- maybe he doesn't wear all his emotions on his sleeve.

[Asker]

Oh course he's interested but interested in what? That's what I don't know and I'm trying to figure it out before I get myself into trouble...

[Masamii]

... he's interested in you. please stop over thinking this and just go with the dude