why does he pull away from me when stressed? guys?

[masoline16]

I have noticed that when my boyfriend is stressed, upset, bummed out, etc. he pulls away from me. He'll text me less, or be less like himself. We haven't been dating for very long and we happened to start dating when there was a lot of stress in his life. There has only been one time where he's really opened up to me about what was bothering him. I know that this all seems "typical male" but I'm curious as to why and if I'm wrong about it being common. I am very loving to him also, especially when he's stressed and I wonder if that annoys him. Thanks for the help!

[MrOracle]

Most guys are poor multitaskers; instead, we have an ability to focus on ONE THING like a laser, which is useful in different situations.

But if he's stressed, then whatever is causing the stress is all his brain can focus on - it's like a computer whose CPU is running at 100% - there are no processing cycles left over for anything else. He's not intentionally shutting you out, and it has nothing to do with you - this is just how guys cope with their stress. They need time alone to figure it out and find a way to solve the problem.

In most cases, you probably can't help solve the root cause of the problem, but you CAN help by removing other stresses from his life, and if he's a decent guy at all, he will be very thankful for anything you might do as part of that, though he might not remember to tell you so until he has resolved the problem and has been able to relax and get back to normal.

Girls like to cry and talk to people about their problems, and that tends to bring them relief. Guys need time alone with their thoughts, so they can resolve the problem itself. That's just a difference between how we work, and again, has nothing to do with you specifically.

[Ruschnav]

We need to deal with the stress head on with no other conflicts. Simple as that.