Do guys respect a girl who isn't easy?

Question

Just wondering. If a girl shows interest in a guy but also makes it clear she isn't easy, will a guy respect her more?

I'm showing a lot of interest in this guy I met, but I have made my intentions clear to him just so he doesn't get the wrong idea. I didn't want him to think I wanted casual sex or something.

I also didn't do things like give out my number too soon or anything- I wanted him to make some effort to get to know me for a couple days. Once I saw him making a genuine effort i happily reciprocated and gave him my number/asked him out.

Just wondering if me not being easy will cause him to value me more than a girl who would throw herself at him :)

jesseray · Accepted Answer

There are two forms of selectivity (or "ways in which it is hard to get the panties off") that men value in women.

The first form of selectivity is by character. In other words, good men loathe knowing that a woman has given the goods to bad men or has recklessly taken a chance of giving the goods to a bad man. Hence, good men want to know that a woman does not do one night stands, because she would not know the character of the person she is having sex with. They want to know that she does not have casual sex, because that would mean accepting the risk of pregnancy (and STDs) with someone she does not want a relationship with and therefore cannot expect to stick around to support the child. She does not do hookups with exes (we want some assurance that she will be with us and not her ex). And she steadfastly avoids the obvious jerks and players. In short, she makes an effort to only be with men of good character.

The second form of selectivity is the waiting period. This relates back to the first form of selectivity, since the waiting period is necessary for the woman to truly learn the guy's character (instead of what he could be pretending to be at the start of a relationship). Different girls have different waiting periods and different guys have different expectations of how long that waiting period should be, but you can rest assured that a few months is a reasonable time frame. It's enough time for liars to drop the act, but short enough that guys can have fun without waiting forever, right? If a guy cannot respect that, then what does that say about HIS character? He's one of those obvious jerks mentioned in the first form of selectivity, so you should pass on him. In short, she makes an effort to only be with men of known-to-be-good character.

If you fit these criteria, then you're doing good :)

front2back · Accepted Answer

Well, I give all women the same basic level of respect that humans deserve, but that's not what you're asking, is it?

Nope. And to answer your question, it really depends on the guy. Some guys who are easy themselves are going to be turned on if you're easy. Some guys that suck are going to relentlessly chase after you until you give into him if you're not easy. Some guys who are not east are going to be happy that you're not easy.

Personally, since I'm not a guy who "bangs" and only does serious relationships, I'm going to be flattered if yours also in that same mindset.
However, don't play hard to get. All playing hard to get does is make you seem hard hearted. Guys that care won't stay whereas guys that don't care will, which is the opposite of what most women want. So if you keep constantly denying me any attention and not putting effort into trying to talk with me, I'm going to feel like you're not intersted in me, not that you're not an "easy" girl. Do just be careful of that.

northernligths · Accepted Answer

Answer is "it depends". If a guy just wants something casual he won't wait around for you because he doesn't want a relationship. So, he will move on from you till he finds what he is looking for. A guy who is genuinely seeking a relationship will not mind your standards of waiting. For the guys who don't know what they want they might play your game of waiting but they may get frustrated and move on.

Even if a guy does wait, weather or not he truly values you remains to be seen. You will see by the way in which he speaks to you, about you, how he treats you etc.

Also, I have heard a lot of this floating around "You teach a guy how to treat you". So, you are on the right tract in stating what you want from the very beginning. Just keep doing that once you are dating him.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Look I respect this a lot but for me am girl am not easy but I don't play that kind of games am very clear and honest when someone likes me I just tell him and when I feel am not interests I also tell I don't like to hurt or lie cz I know one day someone's else hurts me back.. life is too short dear so if you find him a decent guy and you want him just be honest.. making thongs slowly is not that bad but life is too short.. sometimes I feel like I have to be more complicated but that's me who wants me has to accept me as I am and also you.. be yourself

uneek · Accepted Answer

I'm the same way in I'll say if he really feeling you in wants to get to know u then he will respect you for who you are but if it's one of those guys just wanting one thing and thinks he can have you when ever he wants then he won't respect you for how you respect yourself. ... he would probably get upset in not talk to you or say all kinds of disrespectful things. ...

Theguyoverthere · Answer

It really depends on how you go about things. If the guy just sees it as "taking things slow" that's fine. But if you're making guys jump through hopes because you have insecurity issues, he can and should move onto someone else. Like not giving your number out "too soon" over something trivial can complicate things and make it seem like a high school chase game. Basically if you're coming off as a prude guys should run from you. It's one thing not to want to drop your clothes and get naked ASAP, but it's another to overly reserve yourself over silly "values" that most guys will get the opposite message of. Basically if you're saying something like "Oh it takes 3 dates to get a kiss out of me" you end up looking like a child reading a play reciting how everything should go and taking the "real" feeling out of dating.

aficionado · Answer

I 'respect' women, no doubt about that. But since women feel that I'm too unattractive to be considered 'dating material', I don't give a crap about them anymore. They've made their choice, and I have made mine. Women simply don't exist to me as 'women' anymore, they're just humans in my eyes.

simpleandclean101 · Answer

I think you should not have to try to not seem easy, it doesn't feel genuine. Some guys assume you are "playing hard to get", simply because you are protecting and thinking of yourself, and that you have respect for yourself. But it's hard to tell if he will actually respect you, or he's just looking out to get an ego boost once he wins. Like others in this post have said, just be yourself.

p0rtis26 · Answer

I know many girls who go into a relationship with that mentality, yet somehow they end up doing more than they planned. I was a guy who had that mentality, yet I almost had sex and lost my virginity. I highly respect a girl who will stand up to a boy and say no. Hate me for it, but if she is also especially attractive and she still rejects loser guy's advances, it makes me even more impressed.

archides · Answer

Yes, he will respect you more if he knows you're not easy. Also, if he's just interested in one thing then he may lose interest altogether... but if that's the case then he's done you a favor by not wasting your time.

Ricosuavemente · Answer

I personally respect a girl that isn't easy as long as she's not rude about it. Maintaining her social innocence is important and us men should know to respect her for that. That being said, there is such a thing as taking it too far.

Dillon22 · Answer

Yes, I do. If a girl is easy I feel as if she's been around a few times, or she thinks that's all I want or is one of those guys. I feel that I should work a little for it and I see much respect for the girl if she hold out for a while, not too long but awhile. Unless we just have that much of a connection that we both hit it off that fast.

james2023 · Answer

respect for having standards and not acting slutty? absolutely yes - suggests intelligence playing mind games and deliberately messing me around? absolutely not - suggests attention whore

fletch84 · Answer

Yeah. A woman with self respect is important. A woman like that is relationship material. An easy girl is most definitely not.

pooper89 · Answer

Great question. My POV is this. If he likes you enough, he'll wait for you to come around when you're ready. If he's a jerk he'll leave. And good riddance at that

05Jueey · Answer

I would think the value the guy puts on the girl is focused more on her as a person, not her sex life. Otherwise I wouldn't advise a girl to waste her time if she's looking for something genuine

LunaReyes · Answer

don't "try" to be or "seem" any particular way. don't play games, just be yourself.

Vegvisir · Answer

I would not gain respect for a girl who has to put effort into trying not to seem easy

spoonbiscuit · Answer

Men respect girls that are easy with THEM, not girls that are easy with everyone or with another guy. No one wants to kiss a girl's ass.

decemberxblue · Answer

In my experience, the girls who had to "make it clear" she wasn't easy were the easy one's.

youngsavie1 · Answer

I believe all females deserve to be respected, but females that aren't easy get more respect, because they show that they have respect for themselves, and the value their body

Anonymous · Answer

If he is into you, having sex on the first date or the 100th date won't make a difference

Tassos · Answer

Respect is earned not given. But I do put women with morals way above a whore.

NoblesseOblige · Answer

Irrelevant. If that's all you've got to make him "respect" you, you're fucked.

cajun · Answer

nopes and moreover showing one's true intention is noble and respectful to me..

Do guys respect a girl who isn't easy?

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