Is this considered "preening" behavior?

[Anonymous]

So everyone knows that both sexes "preen" around people they are interested in. But if a guy is growing out a beard and always stroking/rubbing his jaw when you catch his eye is that even a preening gesture or just dealing with the itchiness of it?

[Kinstrome]

It's a very mild anxiety reaction, which could mean he is nervous around you.

I have doubts about people saying they aren't preening. It's unconscious; believing that you aren't doing it doesn't mean you actually aren't doing it.

[Asker]

Well look at the first persons comments and mine. Then you will understand my confusion.

[Kinstrome]

Well, if it's just beard stubble, he might be doing it just because it's comfortable. If he has some reaction specifically upon making eye contact with you, that's a point toward him liking you. And him going out of his way to say he noticed you but still not asking you out, does not necessarily mean he isn't interested.

You have to meet him halfway if he isn't bold enough to ask you out straight. If he brings something up, keep that conversation alive and start your own conversation with him at some other time. In trying to start a relationship, nothing is more discouraging to a moderately shy man like myself than trying to talk to a girl and getting nothing out of her. It makes me certain that she isn't interested, even if that isn't the case.

[Asker]

Oh he isn't shy. He's actually an aspiring actor in his spare time.

[Kinstrome]

I would still do something to show him that you are available. Flirting won't scare him away if he's interested, and if he isn't, he should at least be flattered.

[DermalPunch]

actors can be shy people

[sfauo]

Could be something he does without knowing, not necessarily meaning anything, certainly nothing to solely draw conclusions from.

[Asker]

Well I've just noticed that this past week, I have changed up my look and he does some eye contact when able to, certainly more often than normal, (we work together, but a couple rows of cubicles apart), and 90% of the time he is doing the above. But I can imagine it could also be uncomfortable so that could be why too?

[sfauo]

Uncomfortable? Perhaps, never for me personally though. When I start to get stubble I sometimes stroke it too, but because it feels good in a way.

[Asker]

hmm I have always heard guys complain about it. But I was just trying to see if I should test the waters or not.

[sfauo]

You should test the waters if you like him, regardless of his itchy beard :)

[Asker]

I don't want to make a fool of myself since he can have ANY girl he wants and he hasn't done much more than that. Like his kid goes to the same school my neice does and we have been there for concerts and such and he always looks for me so he can tell me he saw me (even if I didn't see him).
And I mean we are friends, but he never texts me first or anything (not that we talk often) and has said he would like to hang out with me and my friends but always has his kid (legitimately) on the weekends we make plans so we have yet to do anything together.

[Asker]

Which is why I am like "do I take this as a sign or no?"

[sfauo]

That he can have any girls he wants seems to be irrelevant though, since you should be confident in yourself.

And again, I don't think it's anything to draw conclusions from. I know I wouldn't try to act all suave and stroke my beard repeatedly at a girl to show I'm interested.

[Asker]

Fair enough, it's just been serious eye contact with it. But perhaps best to just see how he plays it out.

[Blueeyes81]

It's not preening. I've had a beard for 15 years. I often find my self stroking my chin. I do it when by my self. I'm not entirely sure why I do it. I think it may just be a habit that feels good.

[Asker]

Intriguing. I know that touching your face can "subconciously" convey interest, especially when it's with the serious eye contact that has been happening with it. But I suppose it's not.

[Anonymous]

We do that when we're thinking

[Asker]

While making eye contact with women?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, he may be thinking about her