Dated a girl last spring until fall, and we ended up parting ways after she had a severe mental health crisis. We agree to split, and she states that we will grow, and improve upon ourselves then in the future we may get back together when we have both grown.
She encourages me make a tinder app and meet other women to explore my tastes (I don't too busy). Fast forward to this summer, and I help rehabilitate dog. She sees the rescue dog I working with and asks to have it, and she continuously sends me texts about the dog. The entire 14 months we are separated she always asks to go for coffee, and dinner/drinks to catch up. I always come up with an excuse to avoid it.
We also sometimes have 2 hour long conversations once a week. In September she says I am her one true friend, and asks me to babysit the dog I gave her in November for a wedding across the country. No one else can. She drops it off on November 3rd, and we go to dinner where she tells me she was extremely crazy, and understands why I broke up with her, and tells me she is now receiving therapy for her mental/childhood issues. She is also on medication for PTSD due to sexual trauma.
She leaves, and while I watch the dog she engages in almost no contact with me won't answer phone, or respond to texts. On November 19 she apologizes, and admits that she had a crazy few weeks due to drama there.
Now we are talking from November 20th to now, and I feel like things are getting better, and I feel she has grown as a partner. She lets it slip that 14 months ago she made a tinder profile to sleep with a bunch of guys, and still talks on the phone with them? The she says that she was dating a man from June to November while talking to me. What?
Do I have a right to be upset? Or am I overreacting? I am so confused. Any advice please. I have never experienced such a situation. Please help
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
1) having a mental health crisis is something to worry about, not because it's a red flag or anything (well that may depend on the situation i dunno) 2) you kept communication up even though you agreed to split up and she even encouraged you to date 3) sounds like she relies on you quite a bit especially when she calls you her one true friend - codependency is definitely a red flag and something to be concerned about, you can help someone all you want but at the end of the day you're not her therapist 4) no contact - i never understand why people can't contact you, it's nearly 2023, most people have phones, data and wifi connection and it literally takes a minute to text someone 5) she was dating someone but didn't tell you even though you talked all that time? and did she tell her boyfriend that she was heavily reliant on her 'one true friend'? 6) if you still have feelings for her i get why you're confused and hurt
What would you do?
I don't think I would've stayed as long as you have
move on, she seems like too much trouble - if it happens something would've happened but she needs to work on herself, seems too flaky
Just cut contact with her and move on. People like that bring nothing but negativity into the lives of the people around them. She's already proved she's crazy, and still is crazy, so there's no sense in waiting around any longer.
Move on bro, she is way to toxic.