Problems with a shy guy who doesn't initiate things! HELP

[Anonymous]

so anyways I met this guy at a party where he asked me for my number after how alike we were. My friend talked to him and he seemed pretty interested in me. We text basically everyday and our convos our pretty flirty. The weird thing is he is a nice guy who as he admits has trouble having conversations with girls.

we hung out on friday with some friends and he was acting strange and nervous with me. I understand because it was the first time he saw me after the party. Also it makes me upset because he is not so good with initiating things he never texts me firsts or makes effort in asking to hang out. I know he really likes me and I like him too but if he doesn't make a move soon I feel as if I'm going to move on from him when really I don't! can anyone suggest any ideas that I can say or do to fix my situation with this guy?

Updates

+1 y

do you think I should wait until he texts me or should I just text him back?

im scared if I don't text him I will loose him.

[RadicalDreamer]

If you know that he really likes you, but is not great at initiating things, he is probably like a lot of teenage guys and simply lacks confidence. He may have some sort of social anxiety or something else that is keeping him from taking the next step. It's possible that until he builds up more confidence he will NEVER make a move on you, or take too long to admit his true feelings, and you might eventually place him in the "just friends" zone.

It sounds like he has feelings for you, so consider this: there is no written rule that a guy ALWAYS has to make the first move. I for one would be ecstatic if a girl I liked were the first one to, say, move in and kiss me - as a shy guy myself I can tell you this would not only be a huge confidence boost for this guy but it will probably ease his anxiety around you, and make honest and open communication between the two of you easier.

If you have the confidence to do so, why put the pressure on someone with less confidence to initiate? Instead of ending up disappointed, what is wrong with going for what you want and making a move yourself? In this situation it sounds like you have nearly no risk of rejection, so there is nothing to be afraid of - let this guy know how you really feel and very likely you will find out if he feels the same. (He almost certainly does.)

[mustang99]

Its weird, some guys lack confidence so they don't walk up to the girl, but this guy did, I assume. It looks like he just needs some confidence, try telling him you really like him, and that he's great or something. Tell him little things to boost his confidence level, give it a little more time and see if he changes.

[Asker]

Do you think I should wait until he texts me or should I just text him back?

im scared if I don't text him I will loose him.

[mustang99]

If you have fear of losing him, text him first. But don't make it a habit, it takes two to make a relationship work, don't keep being the initiator, he has to start of some conversations too.

[depifster]

Hello. Take this for what it is worth - from a 44 year old guy's perspective.

Move on, there are other guys, this one isn't ready.

Once he gets a little moxy, he might call you. Until then, you have other things to do.

You can always come back when the time is right, but don't waste your life stressing over it, just go and have a good time. That way - you might find a really cool boyfriend, and if not, at least you are out there making it happen, instead of waiting for some dude to decide something.

Might be good for him to lose a nice girl like you, since it is probably the only thing that will teach him to man up and go for it.

[Xxblue_lovexX]

Well I think you shuld still just txt him baq I kno how you feel. You kno he likes you and you kno you lik him. Well keep on being yourself. Try givin him confident boosts and just hang in there. He sounds lik a realy great guy. And I could tell you reallyyy don't want to loose him. So just keep in mind that he's shy and you want to so you care and I think that would make him get more confident. Well good luck and I hope I helped! ^_^

[DrJones]

It's hard to say for sure without knowing you or this guy. That said, if a guy's biggest problem is simply that he's shy, he'll probably respond well to any kind of encouragement. Showing that you're interested (without being super-pushy about it) usually makes him more likely to respond.

I'd say go ahead and text or call him - you're "putting yourself out there" and risking rejection, but so what? If he responds to your efforts, you're helping him deal with his shyness. If he doesn't, then at least you tried and it's his loss.

[Orion]

The mentality of a shy guy is rooted in his confidence. He's shy because he's probably inexperienced and not sure how to talk to you or what to say that won't make him look bad. If you show a little awkwardness it puts him at ease knowing that he's not the only one. Take a step outside your comfort zone and think about how uncomfortable you would be with something you've never tried before and use that insight to help you deal with giving him the little push he needs to make a move.