What to do with a shy guy?

[sexygirl8000]

I'm really outgoing and I hope I'm not sounding cocky or anything but people do know who I am and say that I'm popular There is this guy, and no one knows who he is, which makes me want him more. When he is with other guys and me or just his friends he's really funny and everything, which caused the initial interest. He visits me just to say hi, and he does say hi every time but that's really it. But now that he knows I'm interested in him, he has become so much shyer. His friends tell me he likes me, but I don't know. he stares at me all the time, but why is it that every time I ask him a quesiton he freezes up and stops making sense? also, I gave him my number to call me this weekend but he hasnt. should I stop trying?

[Atomizer]

If you like a shy guy, I suggest you be persistent, but very gentle. Don't come on as strong or as often as you might usually do, but keep coming on to him.

Shy guys' brains can freeze up when they feel they're under pressure, and they can feel startled and need to escape if something surprises them.

Shy guys usually need a lot of time to process their emotions and thoughts, so don't expect a quick response from him. For the same reasons, conversation can move slower with a shy guy: we usually need to think before we talk.

Shy guys tend to advance, then retreat; advance and retreat, and so can appear to run hot and cold. It's not a deliberate behavior, it's the way our brains process experience. We try it, then we need to think about it.

If she's really shy and hasn't much self-confidence, you might need to take more initiative than usual. He might want to call you but be too insecure.

Here's my suggestion. Invite him on a date yourself _but avoid putting him on the spot or feel like he's pressured_. Like I said, a _really_ shy guy might startle and say "no" automatically because he needs time to process the information and doesn't want to feel pressured or boxed in. You may want to try setting him up to take you out: talk to him about an event or place he enjoys, then suggest you go there together so he can show you around and explain things. He might respond well to that because he can talk about the place or event, and feel less worried about "what do I talk about?"

Good luck!

[hotmama]

This really helps me, too! Thank you!

[sexygirl8000]

Mannn that helped!

and I thought about it, I kinda do put him under pressure , well my friends do that for me lol. and maybe I am coming on too strong.

OH! and he did say no once, I asked him to go to queen mar.y you know the haunted ship and he said no righttt away. and then he took it back and said yes

wow you hit jackpot!

[Atomizer]

Glad to help. I tend towards shyness (it's an inborn trait but you can modify it to a degree), and have learned a lot about myself over the last few years.

[ethomsom2]

Ha, sounds like me when I was younger.

[maumau1000000]

Being a shy guy myself, I wanted to give some advice. But Atomizer already covered that, it's good advice. All I was gonna say was it's better for you take initiative with a shy guy, but don't come on too strong. He'll push you away not because he doesn't like you, but because he won't know what to do.

[hotmama]

I am in so much the same situation, but a few years down the line, lol! I am also getting a lot of signals, but not the big one (i.e. asking me out).

I am very friendly, so I don't understand how I could be scary, but apparently, I am.

The advice you got sounds really good, so I am going to take it too! Thanks for asking.