Is being straightforward the best approach with a shy guy?

[Anonymous]

Is it better to just be straightforward and say, "Hey, do you want to go grab drinks/go to a movie?" Or do I need to leave some mystery so he chases me? I don't want him to lose interest.

We have gone out on 4 dates but I have had to initiate plans. We have kissed/made out. I usually text him first during the week. He is extremely shy and never had a girlfriend. He has told his friends about us too.

Shy guys: What is the best approach? I want to keep him interested without throwing myself at him 100%.

[Neiler]

Personally I prefer girls who are more to the point like you are talking about. You shouldn't be the only one who ever makes plans though so if its only you every time then that could pose an issue. It sounds like you're already dating though so maybe you could try to initiate it again but then make him pick what you will do.

Something along the lines of saying that you're free the whole weekend if he wanted to do anything, then let him take it from there.

[Asker]

I text him yesterday saying I would be home again this weekend if he wanted to get together to let me know. He said alright and that he wasn't sure what was going on this weekend yet. I responded back saying well I don't mind coming back so much since it's an added bonus when I get to see you ;-) He didn't say anything back but whenever I flirt like that it seems to freeze him up. It's like he doesn't know what to say. I assume I should just wait now?

[Neiler]

Yeah just wait really, he really needs to get over that shyness though because it seems like it's causing an issue between you two.

[acka72]

It doesn't matter if he is shy, extroverted, tall, short, handsome, ugly etc etc etc. Its never good to take a straightforward approach. The only time its good to approach a guy is when he has no communication and social skills and he stutters cccccan youuu ggggo out wiwiwith mumume?

I honestly think that after 4 dates he should at least get the nerve to ask you out since you already asked him out. That way you are not throwing yourself 100%

[Asker]

I agree but all of his guy friends say he doesn't know how to talk to a girl so I'm doing everything possible to make it easy on him. I think I may be just impatient waiting on him to make plans. I hate waiting till the day of to make a plan for that night. I'd rather know in advance.

[acka72]

Who said dating was easy. If the guy doesn't run a risk his interest will not be as great. Even shy guys make the jump.

[randomhobo]

It would be the best approach for a shy guy. If he is interested then he won't care if you throw yourself at him. Just be straightforward, all these little games put off shy and non-shy guys alike.

Say something like "i'm free this weekend, do you want to come round my place and watch a movie?" or something. If you want to have some fun with him then throw in a winky face or a smiley.

[Asker]

I text something to that effect yesterday. I suppose most guys don't make weekend plans on a Tuesday night, correct? I just get so impatient but I don't want to be too pushy with him. See comment below on what I said. Is that too much?

[randomhobo]

I read it. What i would do is wait and leave it a few days, if no reply then try ringing him and setting something up like that. If he is ambivalent/shy ask him if he likes you as you don't want to be strung along.

[Asker]

I'm just a bit nervous to ask him directly if he likes me. I would assume so because I don't think he would kiss me if he didn't feel something. Every time I've ever had that sort of talk with a guy they usually freak out and close off. I don't know if that is too soon in this situation. I honestly just think he is THAT shy. Lord help me haha