He seemed interested and now he's ignoring me, why is he so confusing? What do you think of this behavior? what do I do now?

[Anonymous]

This is a guy I got back in touch with few months ago. I've always sort of been interested in him but kept it low since he was in along serious relationship. However when he told me he was no longer with his girlfriend, I tried to gauge his interest and told him I would have been pleased to see him.
So far our exchange had been more friendly rather than flirty, and he replied by saying the town where I was moving to wasn't so far from where he lived. Anyway I took this a a clear sign of interest (ie we couldn't see each other but maybe we could from now on.. etc) except that since he replied this he isn't giving me news and is simply ignoring me. It's not the first time he's done this actually (it's the third), and previously I had been the one to start the conversation over.
So this is it, this guy is just really confusing to me and I can't tell whether he's just being polite or if there's something behind.
He was the one to contact me back, and so far seemed interested in what I was doing.. At one point he sort of opened up on why things had ended with his former girlfriend, said he was managing well. BUT he ignores me for a month and so far I've had to initiate the conversation back twice.

I know he's busy, he has a young kid, he works, studies etc.. but I see him being active and not replying to me, and I mean who ignore someone for a month unless you really don't want to talk to them right?

So my question is; can anyone based on what I've written read him better than me and enlighten me?
What should I do then? I don't want to message him again as in "look who you forgot existed..." If he hadn't implied we would see each other I would have understood things clearly.

[Anonymous]

don't initiate the conversation again this time. if he wants to get in touch, he will. but for now, i guess you should move on. i mean, maybe go out and get your mind off of him. don't wait around. if he was interested in you, he would be more willing and less subtle, right?

[Asker]

I see what you mean. It's just it's kind of sad to realize that he will probably never reply and that I was actually bothering him by keeping the conversation going...

[Opinion Owner]

well, i guess it's his loss, and keep your chin up. :)

[Asker]

thank you but well it can't be his loss if he doesn't care. It's just so obvious now, I shouldn't even have asked this stupid question.

[Opinion Owner]

you needed clarity and that's ok. don't be too hard on yourself. and yes, it is his loss. there are things that we lose everyday, significant things that could change the path of our lives tremendously. things that could have a great affect on us. but we miss those things. and sometimes we only realise this when it's too late because life is a complicated thing, it makes us realise things when it's all too late. so don't beat yourself up about it. please. :(

[Asker]

It's just that after all these years I still had some feelings left for him and I thought maybe he remembered me that way too. there was a time where I could have sworn he felt at least a little something from everything he did. But well I guess it's just not the case. I still don't get why he's not more upfront and seemed eager to see me, maybe this is just me misinterpreting things. But well thank you, this is really nice.

[Opinion Owner]

well, it's a pleasure. and i've kind of went through the same thing you are currently going through. and i just had to move on, holding on will hurt you. and moving on wasn't nimble, it was a hard road. but i do know that you will cope. i hope you feel better soon.

[MothMonsterMan]

Sounds like your communicating through "Social media". I would suggest finding someone in the real world who can make time to TALK to you, rather than waiting by your phone or computer for text replies.

[Asker]

yes we are, we've been in the "real world" for a year though and now we keep in touch through this.. wel lyou're right though it's much easier to read people when you see them face to face

[MothMonsterMan]

True, but the problem now is , how far away is he? Even though he's in another town, that could still be an annoyance to try to have a long distance relationship. He may like you when it's convenient for him, otherwise it's "Out of sight, out of mind" for him.

[Asker]

We haven't seen each other ever since we both moved to different towns four years ago. He was in a relationship back then. We're just somewhat friends I would say. I didn't ask him to be in a relationship or anything. I just stated it was too bad he was not in town as I would have liked to see him and he then mentioned how I'm not going to be that far away from him (well actually it's still pretty far but he seemed to say that the trip wasn't boring) .. Now I asked him if that meant we could try to see each other. Maybe he understood it as "be in a LDR" or whatever.. I don't understand when you say "like you when it's convenient for him". as we've never done anything together. Do you mean, he likes having his ego fed so he acts accordingly (and that's why he's confusing)?

[MothMonsterMan]

He could like having his ego fed and like the fact you're paying attention to him online, but he's not too concerned if he ever gets to see you or not in person. The fact he doesn't really seem to be making an effort to get down there tells me he's not making you a priority.

[Asker]

So to you, what he said and what I explained just doesn't mean a thing? I've misinterpreted it? I mean to me, he clearly sounded interested with his last message and the one thing that is weird is how he suddenly ignores me despite being active.

[MothMonsterMan]

He may have sounded interested, but actions speak louder than words. I would just move on and stop worrying about him. If he comes back to you, and is willing to explain and apologize, then MAYBE give him another chance. Otherwise you're just wasting time waiting on him and trying to figure it out.