He ignores me but I'm so confused about his behaviour towards me?

[Anonymous]

We have a friend group of 6. We've been friends for 5 months now and he is technically my first close friend in Uni. To begin with, he is an extreme introvert. Whereas I am an extrovert. In the beginning of our friendship, I shared a lot about my life and he also used to share small things with me. But then one day we got into a fight, well it wasn't a fight, I was upset with him and didn't wanna talk. I was waiting for him to say sorry but he couldn't say sorry and told the other mutual friend how he was in pain because i wasn't talking. And then I realized and talked to him. After this, he talked to me like a baby.
Coming to present time, he ignores me like hell. He replies to my texts late, he consciously avoids sitting beside me in class, he deliberately behaves rude with me, teases me in front of other friends and also while we two are talking, he takes pictures with everyone but not me and he tries to make me jealous by talking to other girls in front of me. He also deliberately doesn't like my posts. On the other hand, he notices many details about me which I myself don't remember. He observes what comments I'm writing in other people's posts (later tells me about it) and who and what comments are written in my posts. He observes what I'm doing in class and whenever I'm a bit off, he would come to me and talk about if anything is wrong. He also phone calls me a lot. We often talk for 3-4 hours at night. Sometimes just silence, but neither of us cut off the call.
Point to be noted, the way he ignores me and tries to show that he just can't stand me, he never does it with other friends of the group or anyone else. It feels like he has all the enmity with me. And not to mention, he often deliberately makes me angry. We cold-fight a lottt. He picks a quarrel with me and then posts sad stories when i don't talk. I feel like many of his close- friend stories are directed towards me.
So yah I'm very confused. I don't get why he always behaves like this with me.

[coldmarch]

I agree with what SueShe said about your (both) clear unspoken feelings and the suggestion that it should be you taking the initiative to talk about your relation.
But I want to add something more about the why he might behave like this. For sure he is torn between 2 things but all of these actions are a way to communicate you something. Introverts or shy people are very bad at communicating discomforts in general and will go through indirect messages, in order to communicate something but at the same time avoid the direct conflict. This can make them very passive aggressive and vengeful, venomous. But all they're trying to do is to trigger your attention to make you "do" something, or to make you feel guilty for not doing what they expect you to do, or say. (This can become abusive, by the way, because if you fall into their game they will always try to make you "guess", so you'd end up in a spiral of doubts and guesses, overthinking about what you've done wrong, and absorbing guilt).
Now, what is he trying to say? We don't know, but considering there was a flirt and you have long calls, he might be into you but is unable to tell you and gets angry for not seeing the feedback/reciprocation he expects from you, so he expresses his disappointment (or fear of rejection) through these childish ways. This is why he is hypervigilant and observes details of anything you do: he expects a response after his passive targeted actions, and tries to interpret what effects they had on you by seeing how you react/behave/feel in general, to guess if you are into him or not, or if he is somehow relevant to you or totally indifferent. He tries to extract your preoccupation towards him through his games, as a proof that you care, probably. Or, it's just a way to create some revenge for some bs that resides only in his overcalculating mind and that didn't go as he hoped.
This is anyway a very bad business card to start any relationship with him because it already gives you a sight of how it will end: because of heavy communication issues and inability to address problems. But anyway the choice is yours.
Right now the only things that can make him stop and be clear to you, are: you blast him during a call and tell him you noticed he is doing all of that to trigger your attention, and tell what you think he feels, so he will be prompted to confirm or clarify better. Or, you start playing his introvert games too and start avoiding him and flirting with others. It will eventually push him to take more desperate measures to catch your attention, boiling into jealousy and finally declaring all the untold things to you. Both of the solutions can lead to heavy arguments anyway, be prepared...

[Asker]

Yeah... i guess you're right. Thank you for helping me :')

[SueShe]

Are you sure that you are in the age group 18-24? Because honestly, the way you and him behave is the typical behavior of early teens and not adults.

Both of you are infatuated in each other but don't admit it for whatever reason. He tries to make you jealous and he does an excellent job at it and you fall into his trap when you state

"... he teases me in front of other friends and also while we two are talking, he takes pictures with everyone but not me and he tries to make me jealous by talking to other girls in front of me...".

Stop acting as if you did not have a crush on him too and initiate a serious conversation since you are the extrovert. It makes no sense to talk for hours if you don't have anything to say. All those details lead me to believe that he is too shy to say anything and you are too proud to initiate an in-depth conversation about your relation. You expect him to start the conversation because he is a man.

If you want something to happen, you have to make the first step otherwise nothing will ever happen.

[Asker]

I mean yeah... i kinda was attracted to him in the beginning but I don't intend to go into a relationship with him. I just wanna be good friends but I don't understand why he ignores me and is rude with me and pushes me away whenever I try to comfort him. Why can't he just be like normal friend that he is with our other friends?

[SueShe]

I believe he is torn between 2 feelings. On the one side, he likes you and would not mind getting into a relation but on the other hand, he is probably aware that his attempt will be infructuous.

He does not want to lose your friendship but also, he is frustrated and that is why you get the 2 different reactions.

[Asker]

I can't thank you enough for helping me out :'))

[SueShe]

No problem. I hope you find the right thing to do. Good luck.

[In_Trance]

I don't know why you bother paying attention to him

[Avicenna]

Sounds like passive aggressive behavior

[Iron_Man]

Trying to talk to him