Why would a guy make prolonged eye contact across a college classroom, but not smile?

[Mistywrites]

This guy in my college algebra class seems quiet and shy, but I am unsure. We have only been in this particular class together for two weeks, but I keep catching him looking at me for longer periods of time each class. We sit on completely opposite corners of the room, diagonally, from each other; he at the front left corner, and I in the back, right corner. Our professor favors teaching at the board on my side of the classroom, to the right, but towards the front, away from me. The weird thing about this is that he always, without fail, faces his entire body towards the side of room where I am. Even before class has started and when she is teaching from the board in front of him, his body remains angled mainly towards my side. He is always in class early, and whenever I enter the room he is turned around completely backwards in his seat, facing the door where I enter and he watches me come in and then rotates slightly to talk to a few people behind him quietly with his body towards my table. Whenever class is over, he packs slowly if I do, then when he sees me walk towards the door, he walks out too, usually right in front of me, then three out of the four classes we have had, he holds the door open for a few people, then continues holding the door until I come, even if it takes me a while to get there, but never looks at me when he does. The last class we had, a few nights ago, he watched me enter the room, then actually leaned around the few people blocking our view of each other and locked eyes with mine for an uninterrupted 8 to 10 seconds, then turned around like nothing happened. He repeated this long eye contact with me a few more times during the class. Is this guy painfully shy, or what is with all the staring and other unusual behavior? I always meet his gaze, but if he's interested, why hasn't he spoken to me or smiled yet?

[dcc4you]

Well I don't like to write so I’ll use bullets

-He is obviously Shy / Social Anxiety / Possible depression. (No smile)

-He is attracted to you and has self-esteem issues

-You are attractive and you are probably in the category of females he would like to date but has rejected him in the past.

-He probably has been that way since getting rejected in High School

-He has a fear of rejection and he is not going to talk to you.

-He wants to but he will NEVER work up the never to do it.

-He does not realize this fact though.

-He is just expecting a REALY good opportunity where everything will just "fall into place" where he can hold a conversation with you.

-That’s where the entire door holding etc... comes from.

-He thinks by holding the door for you and being nice towards you will motivate you and get across to you that he likes you and wants to talk to you without ever telling you. It's crazy I know...

-The looking at you thing...(same reason a guy looked at you in grade school like that)

- He probably doesn't think that you notice

- I doubt he is crazy/ really infatuated with you SURE / socially undeveloped O YEAH!

What should you do! (2 options) - I don't know him or you...You pick

Option 1

-Keep doing what you been doing. If he ever works up the nerve to talk to you he knows where to find you. Besides he is a man it's is problem. (PS. prepared to be looked at for the whole semester.)

Option 2

Say HI!

-Hold a conversation see what he is about. I'm pretty sure he won't shoot you down.

-If you do You MUST look for a really good opportunity to be like LOOK We can be friends but I’m not interested in you in that manor, because in his mind that’s where he is heading...And you need to reiterate that on a regular basis. He is going to think that he can change your mind.

-If you guys start to talk on a regular basis in class, as friends, convince him to get some male friends to make him a man.

-If he starts to look to you for support I would make sure you point him in the direction of some guys, a church, or something like that...suggest to him to go to counseling.

-You don't want to be his shrink.

-You could do all this without growing your own personal stalker or coming off as evil.

-Be yourself, upfront, and honest and nobody will get hurt.

[lolli]

Nice comment! I hope you are right!

[Troutbum]

Here's my take. Are you attracted to him? If so why not start the conversation, yes he might be shy and not know what to say but at least you made the effort to say hello and start the conversation. I'm sure that will break the ice. Even if your not attracted to him start with small talk your in college there is a lot of small talk to be had and at least know you can say hi to each other. Obviously you have noticed him looking at you and I'm sure you like the attention because you have noticed him and his body language towards you.

Talking to him isn't going to lead to a relationship and after the ice has broken he might start talking to you and being more causal.

He might not want to talk to you. He just might find you really attractive and enjoys looking at you. I've done it several times myself. I enjoy looking at a very attractive female but have no interest in talking to her or becoming her friend. I just enjoy the view.

[Rainbows]

He's probably just extremely shy. :/ Some people are so shy that they won't even smile at people they like, let alone talk to them. I honestly don't know what to tell you to do, because initiating conversation with him would probably be just extremely awkward.

[Mistywrites]

Thanks for the feedback. I actually would never approach him first, so hopefully he catches my looks of interest before I loose patience and give up.

[donche]

Why would you never approach him first, I'm curious? (I know the answer, I just want to see what you say.) ;)

[Mistywrites]

Well... though I am certain you DO alreday know my reason, I will share it with you anyway. I never approach first... to me it is just wrong. Men are the hunter/ gatherers...no? It seems far too "pushy" and assertive. Yes I know assertive is good for women too, but not when it comes to the first approach. Not for me. I have a plethora of reasons why I feel it's tacky, but that's just how I perceive things. Other men approach me with no problem.. if he's intimidated, he should stop staring

[Rainbows]

Ew, traditional gender roles.

[Mistywrites]

Did you actually use the word Ew...? Come on, I am far from traditional, and assure you that I am assertive with men. But I just don't feel comfortable approaching a guy that I don't know, that has major flirting going on with me. Even the ladies who commented on this said it would be awkward.... What am I going to say..."Hey nice eye contact today", or I noticed you staring at me.. not cool.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's looking to a friend that's sitting near you... Most shy guys don't make it that obvious

[MrZoork]

1 he likes you. 2 In some way or method your going to get him to talk to you or you going to half to talk to him. This can be done asking about last nights game or some thing that happened on campus. Maybe just thank him for holding the the door for you and go from there. It may take a few more weeks before he decides to talk to you.

Let's face no guy wants to go up to a pretty girl and make an ass of himself .

[Mistywrites]

Thanks for the response . . . great to hear a guys point of view!