Why would my boyfriend slap another womans butt? She happened to be his employee's wife & 20 years younger? her husband is fine w it. Im so hurt?

[25butterfly]

they have known eachother for many years, but that is how my boyfriend & I met he slapped my ass ( which I am a professional woman & was shocked by that but very attracted to him). I feel like I am in love with him it has been a year together but I broke up with him over this... did I overreact? I just feel its wrong on so many levels & he disrespected me & his relationship w me & he says so what it was just a slap on the ass. ( but again that's how he started a thing with me). please help I don't know what to do or ever trust again?

stay broke up

work it out

Updates

+1 y

sounds by most that I may have over reacted, he is furious I left him obviously, & embarrassed him in front of his friends that I left him. what would you do now? I still don't know if I trust him after that & I fear that if he is out with friends I will be thinking he is groping women & such. I have no tolerance for that given if I am in a relationship I keep my hands to myself & would never be disrespectful to my man buy touching another man. ? what to do?

[Red_Arrow]

I think you overreacted by far. First, it was a slap on the butt. Not a feel, not a peek, not a fuck, etc. So the most I would have suggested would be to discuss it and make your feelings known, and then ask him what he thinks about your feelings on this. Then make decisions.

Also, I was slapped on the butt at work by the wife of another employee. It was harmless and I knew it and the people around us knew it. So I just pretended to not react, but the next day I walked up to her while she was talking to a couple of people and slapped her butt, and added a quick squeeze. Caught her off guard and she whirled around, saw it was me and knew it was just payback. We never did it again, either. So really harmless

[Anonymous]

Yes I think you nailed it!! By what you said he disrespected you for doing that.
And also, he did it to you... So he feels it's a way to got the girls attention! On a different level than... Oh a wave or a simple Hi...

by the way, I wish I could see him do that to the wrong woman! He just may get his ass handed to him!! haha!!

[25butterfly]

Yes & I left him on the spot... I am crushed because she is his employees wife & its so wrong & her husband text me & says he totally trusts my boyfriend with his life & his wife & the way he talks about you he worships you Im not worried at all, so I guess if he worshiped me why would he feel the need to slap another woman on the butt, how do I know what else he does if I am not around.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if that is all really true.. Maybe you can talk to him.. Explain how you feel and tell him you do not tolerate that or anything like that behavior!!
But stand by what you say also.

[Opinion Owner]

Tell him if anything like that happens again.. There is no second chance!!

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for MHO!

[25butterfly]

he use to have a reputation as a player but he is much older now & tried everything to convince me he is not like that anymore just don't know what to believe. & now trust is a factor if he is out & I am not with him I was present, not sure he knew I was close enough to see or not. He had a few drinks but still not ok !

[Opinion Owner]

Yes! I definitely agree.
But for him to have his boss call/message and so on he obviously cares for you..
Like I said. If you are willing to try one more time. Talk to him. That does not mean you have to get back with him.. But if he is willing to not do those things. Try it. If he isn't willing to stop don't go any further.

[Stacyzee]

He completely disregarded your feelings which isn't ok.

Do I think u overreacted? Yes, he slapped a woman's ass not slept with her.
You had every right to be angry but it seems as if you took this act of betrayal much harder than anyone would expect.

if he loves you , he shouldn't brush it off and should care that he hurts you. The fact that he seems unphased by this doesn't strike me well.

[Anonymous]

One gesture with his hand, a swat... and you are done? I can't see building a life with someone and loving them to have it all be unravelled by a flick of the wrist. You must not trust him at all. Are you feeling insecure in your relationship, perhaps? How would you feel if you, out of instinct, reached out and gave someone a smack and he walked away and said he was done with you forever?

[Justme1703]

At the end of the day it depends on his reaction to you being upset, he might not off realised that it would upset you and now feel very guilty however if he believes he did nothing wrong irrelevant of how it made you feel then that's a problem in my opinion

[StickStickity13]

Well if my girlfriend started feeling up another man I'd be pissed too. I'm not sure I'd break up with her but it depends.

[PhotogLady]

I feel the same way as you. My boyfriend did the same thing. He has done a few other things that have hurt my feelings. We're supposed to talk tomorrow afternoon or evening.

[okeydoke]

Without further context, it sounds really sleazy.