What to do when a creepy guy approaches?

Hey guys,
So I've been a situation a few times when a sort of creepy guy approaches me, it makes me uncomfortable and I'm not sure how to react...
Like today on the train I was just sitting with headphones on, going through my homework and an older guy maybe 40-50 something asked me when the train leaves and I told him, and he asked me if I was okay or needed help. This confused me a bit but was all smiles and said no thanks. Then he asked where I'm headed and where I live, so to dodge the question I just said I'm visiting family. Then he sat across from me and asked if i would have coffee with him, and I was kind of like "ummm". He asked if I have a bf and I lied yes and then he said "well why don't we be friends then? Give me a chance. " I didn't quite know how to respond and said "I don't really know you.. This is kind of uncomfortable for me." And he said ok sweety and left. Then returned to ask what city the train stops in, and then came back a third time asking if I was mad at him. I said no and he tried to shake my hand and I left him hanging..
What do I do in a situation like this? He wasn't doing something wrong really, and this sounds terrible but he looked scary.. I felt really uncomfortable the whole time.. . But then I started thinking, why did he think I was mad? Did I react like a b*tch? Or was it ok?
Girls what would you do?
Guys do you think I was mean? Has this happened to you?
Thank you!!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you weren't being a bitch. He was looking for reasons to keep coming up and talking to you.

    That situation gave me the creeps just reading about it. No matter a man's age, he needs to tread carefully in those types of scenarios in order to not cross any lines. But particularly when a man is old enough to your father! It shocks me when those guys try at all to be honest (but I understand some are into that kind of thing so I'm always polite), but particularly when I'm not biting after the first couple questions. I just want to give them the eye and ask, "What would you do if a man your age kept bothering your daughter like this?"

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What Guys Said 16

  • You reacted just fine. You were scared and managed to utter the necessary dialogue to ward him off. The more experience you gain in dealing with creepy strangers in public places, the more comfortable you'll be.

    He was out of place, but these things happen. Fortunately he didn't cross the line.

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  • You weren't a bitch at all. He's probably some gross groomer. You have every right to be skeptical. Why would a middle aged man ask a young lady if she's got a bf and if she's available for coffee without intentions?

    Just a creeper. If he approaches you again keep your earphones in and look at your phone or something and pretend you don't notice. He'll feel awkward and go away. Even if he pokes you or touches your arm, just ignore him. He will understand.

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  • First off, I applaud this man for trying but I would say he should've just stopped after his first approach. Secondly, you handled it well by telling him you feel uncomfortable. Next time just say, "I'm not interested" and say it again when he asks you the second time.

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  • You were not bitch at all!

    The guy came on too strong, obviously he was a creep! If you felt uncomfortable... then trust your instincts and your gut!

    Not sure why some decent guy nearby did not step in and say..."Hey sweetheart ours is the next stop" and get off with you to be sure he was not following. At least make sure you get out of the train station okay. What's 20 minutes before the next train comes.

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  • Why did he think u were mad? Maybe you presented yourself as such? I'm not saying u did so intentionally just that you may have done so

    The only response you made i disagree with is the fact that you didn't shake his hand, that seems rude

    How to get out of such a situation, be clear and apologize, i. e "sorry, no" "I'm sorry, I'm already seeing someone"

    Nothing you have to do, just a suggestion

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  • I think you got the point across. And no, you weren't a bitch. Guys like that give me the creeps. It's uncalled for.

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  • WoW! Even though I shouldn't, I want to apologize to you for his crude behavior. That guy sounds like complete scum. I understand that when a guy is interested in a woman he will/should approach her with confidence. But this is not confidence on his part, it was blatant badgering. Like one responder said, after the first couple of brush offs, one should get the hint that it's not gonna fly. These guys are part of the reason why some women don't like to be approached period. Hope you never have to experience that mess again. Well wishes!

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  • Creepy equals ugly in women's definition. That guy was being acting creepy but if he tried to have a friendly convo with you, I bet you would have still thought of him as creepy cause of his looks.

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  • Good choice of action, I still find it creepy how he would just all up and ask you out of the blue a complete stranger

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  • Be honest lol, if he's creepy so say sorry I'm not in for knowing new people or what ever nicely and ignore.

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  • Really you are a decent girl 👧. how humble you went with him! Its called humanity otherwise you could scold him. Keep this nature of you forever.

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  • basically ignore him by his first question.

    by ignoring him he'll stop and leave ;-)

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  • You were right on, and no you didn't do anything wrong.

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    • I expanded on this, I didn't want to hijack your thread. Hope you don't mind.

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1361567-is-it-ok-to-approach-strangers

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    • But most guys are afraid of coming off as that creepy dude. So the nice guys just don't talk to you. Not an ideal situation.

    • I see what you're saying.. I didn't think about that :)

  • Out creep him that will send him running you have to beat them at their own game.

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  • Oh no, stranger danger, let's all be scared and call the cops on him!!!

    If you were creeped out, it was probably more about you than him. You handled it fine though.

    Why do guys do it? Because women, rather than frightened little girls, actually will date a man who approaches them, and plenty of women your age date men his age, so how does he know if he doesn't ask? God, women today are so paranoid, are you all popping pills?

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    • Hey,
      As I said to another guy on here I'm not saying that no one should ever approach me, of course I'm flattered and any girl generally wants men to talk to them. I'm more trying to figure out how to get out of the situation when I have a bad feeling about it and am not interested, without hurting the guys feelings.
      Just like some guys likes younger women I have the right to not be interested in older men -though if you read my question I didn't say anything about him being too old. What if I like women? Or men my age? Or aliens? Lol I should have the right to reject someone regardless..
      And I don't live in the US where they're super into stranger danger just by the way.. Quite the opposite where I live.

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    • I don't think you should generalize that most women are paranoid... I just don't think that's true.

    • That's been my observation. Don't know how things are in your country, but over here, the women are all paranoid children scared of their own shadow, despite being in one of the safest countries in the world **rolls eyes**

  • This is why I don't talk to random women.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you handled it well. Perhaps you can be a little less polite about it in the future. But unfortunately, we women do need to tread carefully - we want to be clear and firm with men like this but we also don't want to piss them off in case they are crazy/violent

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  • Move away!

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