Why would my brother be mad for dating his best friend? Is it really that bad? Is it my fault? Should I feel bad?

[Anonymous]

Me and his best friend are dating for a while without telling my brother. We are in a official relationship but still didn't tell him anything, last week i found out about my pregnancy and i decided to tell my brother about me and his friend. I was happy and hoping that he would support me but he get really mad and he push me away, next day he get into a huge fight with my boyfriend because of nothing ! Although my boyfriend told my brother how sorry he is for keeping it from him but he really love me so my brother get mad more and more. And he tried to hit me too so my boyfriend get mad and he break my brother's wrist accidently but he take him to the hospital and he wanted to talk with him but again my brother was so rude to my boyfriend. I stayed with him that night and he ask me to move in because I need someone to look after me and my brother still treat me like shit because I'm pregnant.
P. S I'm 18 and my boyfriend and my brother are 25 I'm his little and only sister.

this is your fault

this is your brother is fault

your boyfriend is fault

no one is fault

[Nonik]

I think there's so much reasons why your brother is angry with both of you..

1. Both of you didn't tell him until you got pregnant
He's angry because you made him feel like a substitute player.. He'll think that both of you won't tell him if there's nothing happened.. And you just tell him if something happened..

2. Your brother know your boyfriend/his best-friend longer and -so,- better than you
It has 2 option..
- (bad version) He want to stop you because he knew his best-friend's behavior, flaws, and the way he treat a woman -or-
- (good version) He want to support your relationship so he want to prepare you first with inform you about his best-friend's favorite, good side, and bad side of him so you can dating with full responsibility

3. Your brother have sister-complex towards you
He feel jealous with you boyfriend/his best-friend.. It sounds strange, but maybe it's true.. You won't know if your brother have this thought.. You never confirm it with him, though.. Who knows the depths of one's heart..

4. And finally, maybe it's just a simple affection from a brother to his little sister
Your brother maybe feel like you're his responsibility and he "can't" move on from the past.. Maybe he still feel like you're just a little girl who doesn't know anything and need someone to guide you through your life, while you don't.. You feel like you big enough to deal with your own problem and take a responsibility, but it's not like that with your brother.. Deep in his heart, you'll still be his little sister..

[Nonik]

I'm the only and the youngest daughter in my family, too..
And sometimes my father and my brothers can be overprotective towards me..
I didn't like it too, 'though I know why they did that..
So I know about your feeling and -I think- I know what your brother think..

[gray_sailor]

This is the best explanation. It hits on all the points that I could think of.

[Nonik]

@gray_sailor Thank you, sir.. :)

[gray_sailor]

You are welcome. ☺

[Aud_Queen]

You and your boyfriend should have told your brother. He was in the dark. I'd be mad too if my sister was in a serious relationship with one of my guy friends.

In your case I think you brother is mad because he's suppose to look out for you. But you webt behind his back. All you can do now is tru and talk to him when he's calm and work it out. Your boyfriend seems supportive of your situation.

[Asker]

I wish I can fix the relationship between my brother and me

[Aud_Queen]

You can. Just give him time to vent. He's your brother... He'll come around.

[rebekahj391]

It's not really anyone's "fault" but you probably should have told him out of respect. I understand waiting to see if it's going to work out, but if you're pregnant, it was probably pretty serious and he should have known beforehand.

[Asker]

I feel so bad and guilty, I don't know what should I do now.

[rebekahj391]

Just apologize to him and let him know that things got out of hand and you didn't mean to hurt him. I like the other user's suggestion to name the baby after him too. If you and your brother are close, he should forgive you, but it will take time because he has probably lost some trust in you. Don't beat yourself up about it though because what's done is done.

[Klaatu51]

"Me and his best friend are dating for a while without telling my brother." <---- i guess because you didn;t tell him basically

[Asker]

I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Mesonfielde]

This is your brother's fault. He overreacted over nothing, and his nonsensical behavior even got his wrist broken.

[TwistedLogic]

People usually keep secrets when something feels wrong. You and his BEST friend should have known better.

[Asker]

Is it really that bad to date his friend?

[TwistedLogic]

I personally wouldn't care who my sister dates to be honest. However, if I liked a close friend's sister, I would naturally ask for his approval before moving forward with her. It is customs, not right and wrong. I guess it makes him feel that I have only been friends with him to get to his sister, or maybe he knows too much about me that he wouldn't want his sister near me. Or something else, what do I know... it is an unwritten rule anyway. It is your call at the end of the day. :)

[Asker]

Honestly I don't know what should I do. I don't know if I should move in with my boyfriend or stay with my brother. I don't know if my brother will love me ever again or not , it's just so complicated

[TwistedLogic]

Sit him down and talk it out. Explain to him that you genuinely like his friend and at the same time you don't want to wreck your relationship with him (your brother). Let's hope he is a rational human being. He shouldn't hate you for this anyway. It is not the end of the world. He needs to grow up a little.

[Metlahead]

You both lied to him. Bad sister and bad best friend.

[Asker]

But I swear I didn't mean to

[Metlahead]

Too late for that.

[Asker]

I feel so bad

[Metlahead]

That is the first sign that you did something wrong.

[Asker]

Why you keep telling me that I did something wrong? I just loved him and I wanted to tell my brother in a better way but he didn't accept me being with his friend.

[Lostman]

Your brother might know his friend very well and also knows about his life and whats he upto... Honestly. u should never date your brothers best friend...

[Asker]

What about our baby?

[Lostman]

In this case dear.. U should go with ur heart and i believe u have made a decision about him. I wish u all the best in ur life.. Take care of ur child... Life is short and im sure ur brother would be happy to hear about the baby.. does he know about this?

[Lostman]

If he isn't aware of it.. Pls tell him.

[Asker]

Thank you. I did told my brother about my pregnancy and my relationship with his friend at the same time so he did what he did to us.

[Anonymous]

My twin sister dated and fucked my best friend behind my back in high school.

That's not the only reason why I hate her but you better make this right or he's going to make the choice like I have to not be in his nephews life because of her.

[Asker]

Do you mean that i ruined their friendship?
How can I make this right? By breaking up with my boyfriend or abandon my unborn baby?

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly you are probably a better person than my sister. She treats everyone like trash but her friends and her baby. My best friend at the time thought that she was crazy and broke up with her. He actually thought she might be a lesbian because she was obsessed with her friends. She even treated her husband like shit and made him divorce her. We had a "heart to heart" before our birthday then come to find out she fucking lied again and through our sibling talk down the drain in January. I don't fucking understand it but I have chosen to remove her from my life.

You need to make sure your brother is set. Find him an 18 yr old girl that he will marry. My sister knows exactly what type of woman I'm looking for if she did that then she's forgiven but she'll never think like that.

[Asker]

I think no one would like to be with him after what he did. He was like a crazy monster

[Opinion Owner]

I feel sorry for "her" but she'll never change.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't condone hitting women. I'm sorry about that. Even though it is a suggestion you can to find him someone. It doesn't have to be immediate. You've got priorities but you two have to win him back.

[Opinion Owner]

I can say if they followed through with naming my nephew after me things would be significantly different right now. Something to think about :)