My boyfriend wasn't even a little upset I cheated on him he just switched on the TV and didn't say anything... Did he even care about me?

Question

WordSmithing · Accepted Answer

Men deal with trauma, and the emotions that come with it, much differently than women do. You presented him with an overload of negative emotion and his reaction, like most men, was to shut down entirely. He obviously does care given his extreme reaction to your touch. To be perfectly honest, him pushing you aside clearly shows you your touch repulses him, and rightfully so. What you did was so terribly wrong and unforgivable that there is no rationalization for it!

With regards to him sitting away from you and smirking, I imagine he is thinking negative things. Often people in various situation smirk as a sign of darker thoughts. He might very well -have- the urge to hit you, or seek revenge on an emotional level and he is smirking while contemplating how he is going to balance the scales. Or, I could be wrong... The point is though that a smirk is not always positive and sometimes denotes a devious train of thought.

I wish I could be supportive to you because I imagine this is a difficult time for you as well... However this was your own doing and under NO circumstances is cheating ever the answer. Regardless of whether or not you had sex with this other man you did something truly horrendous and I cannot picture your relationship bouncing back any time soon.

Trust must be earned, it starts as a fragile notion and over time is built between two people. You have shattered that trust, and might have ruined the possibility of him or anyone that finds out of ever trusting you in a relationship.

I really do hope this works out, as sometimes tragedy can give way to a stronger bond but that relies entirely on how you handle this from hereon out! Stop wanting to be punished, STOP playing the victim, that is his role to play. Talk to him about what comes next, find out if he wants to end things and if he does not... Then begin the process of mending the wounds you caused with your impulsive actions. Either way, neither of you should waste any more time with this and I recommend this talk happens ASAP to discuss your future, or lack thereof, together.

Good luck Anonymous! =/

JohnStamoist · Accepted Answer

You're a fucking horrible person and a waste of resources that could be used on others. So many people suffer mental illnesses and will never be able to have a normal life, you do and what you make of it is being a cheating whorish slut that tries to blame her man.

"He didn't want to experiment with me so I went and found some other guy who would, bringing him to the house I live at with my boyfriend." Like are you fucking serious, are you really trying to justify this statement with such a bullshit rationalization?

THEN YOU'RE MAD THAT HE ISN'T MAD AND DIDN'T HIT YOU!!!

I would control myself until the guy left, then yell at you to get the fuck out of my house and never contact me again you no good cheating slut. You deserve to be alone for the rest of your life honestly, make like a tree and fuck off.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

I don't understand. You seem to be more interested in looking for his reaction to the cheating rather than deal with the real issue which is why you cheated in the first place. You want to see some kind of life come out of him, before the cheating and now afterward. Even asked him to hurt you physically? That's extreme!

This is the last thing in a normal, healthy relationship that couples have to deal with are the guessing games on both sides. He was sexually and emotionally unavailable for whatever the reason, and now you have become deceitful to get what you needed and now fish for his attention post-cheating. This just isn't right! You are both hurting from something and possibly not meant to be together. He could be biding his time to try and end things with you, it might not be an instant thing, since he was already sexually and emotionally distant, what's a few more days or weeks to him? You are also struggling with dealing with it all.

Both of you have done hurtful things here, and if you peel back the layers on why things lost their footing to begin with, you might find it has nothing to do with you. You either are both not meant to continue this as how things are right now, you can't possibly continue for the rest of your lives. Things either need to end or improve. You're the one who makes bold moves here, so maybe you should boldly suggest couples counselling and find out the root of the problem and see how you can both get past this - and that's if he's even willing.

If he's not willing and would rather just never be touched again for the rest of his life, it means he's a cold fish and was probably looking for an excuse to end things, knowing you couldn't stand it anymore. You can't tell me you prefer analyzing this whole thing rather than improving it or getting out of it. Give yourself the opportunity to be happy. Good luck! :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't want to rude but I'll say this straight out

You're kind of a bitch you not only cheated on him but when he didn't react the way you wanted him too you flipped out you probably wanted to hurt him maybe you set it up so he would come home that exact time? why sleep with someone in your own home you share with your boyfriend if you didn't want to get caught then there is the part where you tell him "Hit me" you weren't telling him to hit you because it would release some of his anger you were telling him to hit you because you wanted him to be guilty because you didn't say it before he pushed you away he was obviously disgusted by your touch so you wanted to hurt him as badly as he hurt you by not reacting, I bet you would have ran to the phone after he hit you and called the police saying he probably attacked you and say other shit along that line. Also the reason why he was smirking was obviously a strained smile that you took out of context because you seem to want him to become the bad guy he was the bigger person in this situation and you're pissed about it grow up and stop acting like a raging bitch

Esplorare · Accepted Answer

Sounds like either...
1.) He expected something that dishonorable and sleazy from you so he wasn't surprised.
2.) You've done it before even if in your past or he's heard of you acting like that
3.) He doesn't love you and his heart is moving on from you anyway so oddly enough, he felt no reason to invest passion into what he saw.
4.) Some other girl has already entered his life and was in the process of stealing his heart from you before you did something that will make him want to share it with someone else.
5.) He's already cheated on you. Perhaps multiple times...

JuicyBrain · Answer

Never wish or ask for bodily harm on you. Come on, you may be a cheater that doesn't mean you deserve to be beaten. Have a little more self-respect. Now, your relationship is ruined. He despises you now. He actually reacted in a mature fashion. He had no reason to hit you. NOBODY EVER DOES. I don't think you have much of a choice but to take your stuff and just leave. The relationship is dead. Remember that next time...

Agirlcalledkill · Answer

I don't really think he's remained nonchalant. He doesn't want you to touch him, he doesn't want to talk to you and to stay near you. I think the reason you gave for you cheating aren't enough (and I don't think any reason is enough for cheating anyway). He's probably just waiting for the right time to break up with you. C'mon! He even saw you in your house and in his bed? What were you thinking? And now all you care about is what your friends would think of this?

AleDeEurope · Answer

Clever guy, he's controlling himself cause hitting a bitch is not worth it. I hope he leaves you, you deserve no one, and you even blame what you did on him.
God, you're the worst thing ever, just disgusting.

Anonymous · Answer

Communication is key. For whatever reason you cheated on him doesn't really matter. The problem is that you didn't try to work things out and headed toward a different solution... which by the way isn't the best. Afterward, I could see why he wanted distance between both of you, but honestly you aren't giving it to him. You haven't given him time to sort this out in his head. Offering violence also doesn't solve the problem. I don't know why you must stay in a relationship with him when clearly you guys are having problems. If you want to fix this first give him some space and then when all hell blows over talk this out with him to decide what your relationship should end up being.

KiwilovesChris · Answer

Who care what your friends think! You need to figure out what he's thinking. Why would you want him to hit you? So he can feel guilty like you? If you love him, then you should leave. You lost his trust and respect. Let it be his decision if you stay. Time to suffer the consequences of your actions.

PiuBelloAmante · Answer

Haha, woman are crazy!
if i was him i would pack all my things and leave your ass,
he is a loser for still sticking around, and you are a crazy cheater

how dare you tell him to hit you!!! go volunteer and help victims of domestic abuse maybe that will change you way of thinking

itsallover · Answer

I commend him for the way he reacted. He stayed calm and collected even when faced with the ultimate betrayal of you, a cheater. You're the lowest of the low in terms of a partner.

Why are you so concerned about how he reacted? The matter of the fact is that you CHEATED on him. Give him space to think and figure out whether he stays with you or goes. I sure hope it's the latter, you don't deserve him.

Frost_Byt3 · Answer

He was probably hiding his emotions. But he didn't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing that he was affected by it. He wanted you to think you hold no value to them.

Either that, or he realized how much of a cheating whore you are, and very quickly came to terms with it, and decided that you werent worth any shedding tears.

Onyx277 · Answer

Doesn't sound like he does not care at all. If he doesn't want you to touch him and is calling you those names then he is upset over it. Sounds like it's time to break up since he does not seem to be interested in reconciling. I would ask him if he wants to work this out or not.

RationalMale · Answer

He knows that a cheater is easily replaceable.  And he's not brain dead enough to end up in the county jail on charges of domestic abuse, assault and battery.

Anonymous · Answer

He was in shock when he walked in like when I got a gun pulled on me I felt nothing I didn't even belive it I just looked at him for a sec and walked away. He will never forgive u trust me he lost all trust and all feeling he crys but u will never c him eventually he might talk to u but don't push it u should right him a letter he won't listen to u just give him time

Anonymous · Answer

First and foremost, stop lying. You don't feel bad. You wanted this to happen otherwise you wouldn't have been so careless.

Second, I can tell you whatever love that man had in his heart for you is completely gone now. It sounds to me that he hates you and is absolutely disgusting by you. I am and he has every right to be. Not only did you betray his trust and cheat on him, but you also had another man in the bed you two share and played victim. You really can't get much more disrespectful than that. Had I'd been him, I would have kicked you out and permanently removed you from my life.
So I will say this: save whatever dignity you have left and just leave. He will most likely get even and embarrass you or he's most likely completely done with you anyway. Either way, YOU caused this. Take accountability, accept the consequences of your actions and accept that fact that he's done with you and is never coming back.

LittleSally · Answer

He probably knew... or he's used to it... And will make you suffer a bit before he breaks up with you. Or he's a bit childish and will stay with you until he finds someone to cheat on you with.

Rainbowdove · Answer

What do you want him to do? fight for you? no guy wants to stay with a cheater

MaskedSanity · Answer

Why did you want him to hit you? Because you didn't get the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of him? So you could turn the tables on him and make him out to look like the bad guy?

DeltaDanner · Answer

He is hiding his emotions, a and its working. He won't give you the satisfaction of seeing him be hurt. You screwed up, and now you will pay for what you did.

IslandGent · Answer

He is hiding his emotions. Plus, you don't deserve him. I'd turn the to TV on too. Fuck you mean.

Nuqood · Answer

HAHAHAHAHAHA Serves you right, stupid bint! You're worthless to him, and you're a filthy cheater. You've lost; Pack your bags and leave.

Selliebeanz · Answer

We're you looking to get a reaction out of him? He's shocked. Be glad he's taking things this well. And I bet he already told his friends about the situation.

DaniaMQ · Answer

Wow... He was in a shock.. That's why he didn't react... He is smart though... He didn't want to waste his time or hurt his throat and head by shouting...

tomboy41 · Answer

Afraid your friends might find out that your a slut. Cheating have you no self respect and decency?

AmandaLynn1930 · Answer

he was probably giving you the silent treatement... he cares, just doenst want to argue about what already done. he's probably hurting tho.

AmberDawnxo · Answer

It sounds like you got problems in the way you think and how others should think too. I would reavaluate yourself

Yorkshirefella · Answer

Hope he dumps your ass and moves on, no time for cheaters if you had a relationship problem talk it out, don't go jump on a another man dick. no sympathy at all for you.

fulloflife · Answer

He acted in a civil fashion. sure he could've beat that guy up, screamed at you but no he kept his cool, hat's off to him

Anonymous · Answer

You're a whore, he's doing what he can to make you a mental mess and i love it. I hope you end up taking medication for depression.

Anonymous · Answer

He cares. He cares a lot, but i doubt he's in a forgiving mood from what you've said. But it doesn't look like he's trying to dump you, seems like he's trying to move on from it

NYkid27 · Answer

I don't think he cares about you at all. If he did he would've been much more bothered by you cheating

Xwtxx · Answer

It is over. I think that it was over a long time ago. Just leave him.

ThickJohnson · Answer

He probably is avoiding it and trying not to think about it

moebond2 · Answer

You're a horrible person

Anonymous · Answer

You should donate blood. All of it

dudegrt09 · Answer

wow you know how to rub salt on a wound.

biguyct · Answer

Maybe he's into swinging

Anonymous · Answer

why is this so funny

My boyfriend wasn't even a little upset I cheated on him he just switched on the TV and didn't say anything... Did he even care about me?

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I broke up with my boyfriend and he doesn't seem to care, did he ever?

My boyfriend wasn't even a little upset I cheated on him he just switched on the TV and didn't say anything... Did he even care about me?

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I broke up with my boyfriend and he doesn't seem to care, did he ever?

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