I cheated and he didn't care at all

so last week I did something I told myself I would never do . I am a married women of two years and I have a wonderful husband we love each other very much . last week I ran into an old friend and I ended up somewhat having sex with him ( I say somewhat because he got on top of me and stuck it in for about a min and I was just not into it at all it was like I was makeing me self do it and I told him to stop that I couldn't do this ) yes I do understand that even if it was for only a short min. that it was still cheating .i felt completely awful about it and ashamed of my self . I went home and that night I told my husband what happen . I new by my telling him I was risking him leaving me for ever but I couldn't lie to him . if he left me it would have been my fault completely . I told him everything and he was not even that mad at me he said he forgave me . I was in tears not because I was affraid to lose him but that I had done him so wrong . I was happy he forgave me but then I got to wondering why he didn't even get mad at me . I no he is not cheating on me at all so its not that . I asked him why he was being so OK with it and he said that I he didn't have to get mad at me cause he could see how mad I already was at my self . I'm happy he took it like he did and I won't ever do that again and I'm still hurt that I let that happen but he acts like it didn't bother him not one bit and I really don't understand that at all . it made me feel like he didn't care about me .. what is going on ? I didn't want a big fight or nothing but the lack of emotions from him was strange to me .

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  • Maybe it did hurt him but seeing as you were already in tears, he decided to forgive you and forget. He may not of wanted to escalate the situation you two were in even further.

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    • yeah that's what he said .

      i don't know though you know us women have to analyse everything . we never argue much at all we get along great I guess because we have been friends for a longtime to . sometimes though I feel like he just don't care what I do . maybe that's the reason I allowed my self to cheat . I don't know .. it was wrong either way and I feel like I'm going to hell now

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What Guys Said 5

  • Fidelity is becoming a grey line these days and people are even having different definitions of it. There are couples who have fantasies of 3 ways and in a "traditional" relationship you can't really have that. But some couples want their partners to be happy and engage in it. There are even ads on craigslist of husbands who fantasize about watching their wife have sex with another man and are looking for someone to fulfill that for them. He could be open to what is going on with you.

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    • no I don't think it was that at all . one time his friend had asked if he could ever have a threesome with us and my husband kicked him out the house LOL it was funny . I wouldn't ever do that either

  • You must be with a freaking saint. I would have been INCREDIBLY pissed and probably dropped you immediately.

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    • yeah that's what I was expecting . that's why I don't understand how he can just be like oh its OK baby .. I don't get it either .

  • Did you press charges against that "friend"? You basically were raped.

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    • um no .. it wasn't like that you must have read that wrong .. I wanted to do it at first then as it was happening I changed my mind when I told him to stop he did right away . nothing was forced what so ever .

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    • oh your right . the day I got married I new I was going to run into an old friend years later and cheat then post it on girlsaskguys.com . I new it all along . I should have just said no instead of I do .

    • It's not about being an oracle predicting the future - it's about having decent willpower and morals

  • Wow. He loves you that much that he thinks that you've punished yourself enough already.

    Just wow. I'd marry him.

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    • lol . yeah well we have been very open with each other with our feelings that's why I did tell him what happen . I was scared he would leave I don't ever want that but I can't lie its just not in me to do so . if I do something wrong to anyone I feel like I'm the scum of the earth I have always been that way I am really hard on myself about everything but this time I should have been I was wrong

  • thats what true love is all about he loves you and that's why he forgave you but don't do it again it could lead to a fight and a divorce . and why would you have sex with another guy when you have a husband? you don't like him ?

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    • the other guy was a friend from the past that I had a crush on years ago and I never had hooked up with him before and I got curious and made a huge mistake .. I don't even like the guy at all now just because of what happen . I am no longer in any contact with him what so ever . there is no need for it .

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    • no I have not even tried to yet . he works the night shift and has been working all week and sleeps in the day time . he is off this weekend so I'm going to get some time with him . maybe he will have sex with me and during start thinking about it and take it out on me in a good way LOL :) that would be nice jk

    • hahah , he probably will take it out on you and make you pay for it ha ha , he might make you pass out

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't know, but that does not sound good. Are you sure you two are in a romantic love, and not a love out of convenience or friendship? If I did that, my fiance would FREAK OUT. Unless he has incredible self control and understanding of others, this is very odd to me as well.

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    • well also I am 28 and he is 38 we met when I was 17 he has always been really understanding with me I don't no if the age had something to do with it or not .. I don't no . I would have pissed a chicken if he told me he cheated ... I wouldn't have left him but I would have been very hurt .

    • Sounds like you two have a pretty solid relationship. I would just come straight out and tell him what's on your mind. You can ask 100 people online, but no one really knows what's going on except him.

  • He could be emotionally distant or into he could just be okay with letting your guilt take care of the situation

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