this is the kind of question that i would try to stay away from, but i wouldn't do anything you mentioned, i would sit her down and talk about it with her, self harm can be a serious issue and i wouldn't just let it slide, i would also come over a lot more to check on her and talk to her with any free time i had. I would also consider hooking her up with self harm hotlines
1-800-DON'T-CUT (phone line for more info)
1-800-273-TALK (phone line for self harm victims)
if they feel weird talking to the phone line, do it with them or do it without them and ask the hotline for advise.
I've been through this before. My very first girlfriend was a cutter. I tried to help and be there for her but in the end all I could was sit there helplessly and watch. I've come to the conclusion that there is nothing a boyfriend or girlfriend can do to help with that. They need to do something about it themselves and if for whatever reason they can't or won't, you need to clear out of there because things will only get worse.
i used to do it, once I broke up with my boyfriend and we met a few days later to put the "real end", I had cut myself and had put on a bandage, he asked me what had happened I just told him I fell on the ground while playing basketball, 5days later we were back together and I actually told him what really happened, and he didn't give me any response, he didn't break up with me, didn't freak out, didn't try to understand and heelp me, just looked at me and changed the subject..
My boyfriend found out yesterday. After we had a fight. He said he didn't want to talk about it, he was shocked, angry and probably feeling guilty. Told him it's not his fault.
He didn't hug me or told me it's gonna be ok. And my boyfriend is actually a very good loving boyfriend so it's surprising he didn't even hug me. He was very distant.
I'm sorry i told and showed him.
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Turned up to my girlfriends house after a arrgument. Found out she had cut herself. This shit was yesterday man... first time i'd seen it on someone in person. Broke down infront of her because all i could feel was that it was my fault. Currently hate myself, and she's not doing so good herself knowing how much its fucked with me. She claims it had nothing to do with me, even if it is true i can't help to feel like what she said is bullshit. I feel fully responsible for it and has led me to feel down as fuck, sick, maybe even depressed... I don't know all i know is i had no feeling and for the first in a long time felt i selfharming myself would benift me. But im staying strong for her. If you want my true opinion on what a man should do... a real man should hold her in her arms and be her rock... tell her everything will be okay and that he will do anything to help her. Wipe her tears away and not leave her side till she's laughing and smiling again.
I certainly couldn't ignore it. I couldn't be the same old boyfriend. I'd have to get others involved... people who can help treat this and address it. Perhaps I might even be part of the problem, so I couldn't and wouldn't try to help myself...
I'd be there for her, but this would have to be a bigger priority than just being a boyfriend.
It would make me feel more protective towards her and watching very closely for any signs when I could try to make her feel better. I'd probably ask a lot of questions, try to understand why she does it. But no, I certainly don't see any reason why I'd start rejecting her because of it -- if anything, becoming too overprotective would be the problem rather than pushing her away.
My ex use to do that,I told her not to but she still did and tried to hide it. It use to freak me out so instead of arguing about it I got my knife and self harmed myself right in front of her. It worked too but I don't recommend it,I didn't think of the mentality and strain it put on her and I regret it now.
I would definitely not break up with her, and would attempt to control my reactions so as not to freak out. I don't think I could "cure" her and would only offer my support. We all have skeletons in our closets, and sometimes it can help to show them to someone you trust without them trying to clean them or change them, just listen and talk. If she was willing to share hers, I'd probably have the courage to share mine.
I wouldn't break up with her or freak out. I would try to help her and be comforting if she wanted my help. I've been through self-destruction before.
I would be alarmed because of the potential risks to her health.
"I'm really shocked that your doing this, but why are you- and is there anything I can do to help you stop?"
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