How would you react if your girlfriend told you she was cutting herself?

Question

i just started dating this guy a little while ago.. who I have had like a "thing" with for about 6 or 7 months now. so we know each other pretty well. and I recently starting cutting my wrists and other areas about a couple weeks ago, because I've been going through a lot lately. but I was wondering if I should tell him.. like if you were him, how would you react? would you freak out? or would you try to help me? and how should I tell him if I were to?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Self-Harm is symptom of psychiatric distress and illness. It does not necessarily correspond to a desire for 'attention' but even if it does then what you are missing is appropriate attention. Some people have difficulty asking for help and feel too choked up to ask. Sometimes this is a way of asking. Regardless of your reasons for hurting yourself you are in need of care and consultation with a certified professional, not some people on the internet who are more likely to be familiar with myths than medical diagnostics. How your boyfriend would react is as singular to him as anything else. He is a unique individual like yourself. You cannot know how he will react. Perhaps you should simply tell him that you are going through some things right now, you are having trouble coping in a 'healthy' manner, and are intent on seeking help. Then go an get some help. If you are young and in school your school guidance counsellor is a good start, your parents, a teacher, or even your family doctor. All of these people can assist you. Public crisis lines can also help you find assistance. When someone is compelled to hurt themselves they are often suffering severely and the self-harm is a symptom of that pain. It is a method of coping. It not a healthy way of coping but there are plenty of behaviours that people use to cope that are not healthy (Drinking, sex, fighting, bullying, etc). Do not be ashamed of your current distress, but get help. What you do about your cutting and the underlying problem will say more about you than the cutting ever will. Speak to a professional. They can help you.

Shea_Penguin · Accepted Answer

I won't like it. But I will try to comfort him and ask some questions. I used to cut and I know that people who cut don't like to be asked questions or be told to stop because that will just make them want to do it more. I would also say my opinion and tell him that he is not the only person in this world with the situation that he is dealing with. I would try and get help. Vist him often. And take away ALL sharp things, such as scissors. Blades, razors, knifes, and anything else! If you are dealing with self harm of depression. Talk to a friend, parent, therapist, etc. just so you know, IT GETS BETTER!! And I know it sucks to feel like the world hates you and have all those thoughts racing through your mind but keep telling yourself that you won't let your thoughts win. YOU will win this fight. YOU are the boss not your mind. YOU should bring back that real smile because it's beautiful. YOU are an amazing person. YOU are the reason God picked you. It's all YOU! Don't be scared to tell people. It's hard but I know you can do it. Keep that chin up and stay strong, beautiful. I love you random person behind this screen! STAY STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL!!!

existing_not_living · Accepted Answer

Well, when my best friend found out I relapsed in cutting he got really upset with me and yelled at me to never do it again. He was really mad. Then he kept checking my wrists and one of cuts was really bad and left a huge scar. He was always trying to see if it was okay and wouldn't stop examining it. Every time he saw it he would get really upset again and would just run his fingers over it and whisper to me to never do it again.

If your boyfriend is like my best friend, then he'll be there for you and will be sad that you are hurting yourself and he'd rather you talk to him abut your problems instead of keeping them inside and cutting just to numb the pain. I would tell him. If he sticks with you, then you know he cares. If he doesn't, then he wasn't worth your time. Just sit him down and say that you need to tell him something important. If you can't get the words out, then show him the scars first and see how he reacts.

shrike092 · Accepted Answer

NOT GOING TO LIKE THE TRUTH! If he loves you then he will help you and be supportive, may even get a bit upset at the moment you tell him. I don't really think he means that much to you anyways if he can't keep you happy enough to stop you from cutting yourself, and I guarantee he will feel the same way. But regardless he should help you.  You should really quit that though, its very dangerous and shows nothing more than the fact that you have no will power over yourself and are just doing nothing more than crying out for attention. here's something that will really help you stop. instead of cutting yourself, try this technique until the want/thought goes away...Ask yourself, wear is this thought, then ask yourself do I want it there, then ask yourself if it can stay there, then ask yourself if you can make it go away. The answer to these questions does not matter, repeat them over and over until the feeling of need to cut is over. this can take as much as up to 20 times of repeating. But if you do this I promise you it will work. confront your boyfriend asap about this though, the longer you wait to tell him the further away he'll feel when he finds out, and he will eventually find out. He will feel loss of trust and maybe loss of some affection/love because you have hid something from him for so long.

Jarett · Accepted Answer

Well you need to stop cutting, but the way to do that is to figure out WHY you're doing it, and then solve that problem.  People who cut themselves don't know how to deal with pain, and like to play the victim card.  So I'd start there.  I'd never date a girl who was currently cutting, because it means she has some growing up to do.  I'm not going to minimize anything that is going on in her life, but we all have problems and issues, pain and hurt, and unmet expectations and disappointments.  We all deal with pain in different ways.  But hurting someone else or yourself to deal with the pain is really childish, and like I said, is too busy feeling sorry for themselves to have a healthy relationship with someone.

SCU2013 · Answer

well if he was a good boy friend he would get you help and support you through that. But you shouldnt cut yourself, I know we all have hard times but honestly its easier when you face them front on.

mishcom · Answer

i actually thought that this girl I was seeing was cutting herself, and it didn't make me freak out. it made me feel like I should be there for her more and try to help her with whatever she was going through. If the guy your seeing is a compassionate person, then I belive he would feel the same.

Anonymous · Answer

HOLLY CRAP DUDE I LOVE TO CUT MY STUFF TOO...I SMELL SOUL MATES:)

Anonymous · Answer

You should tell him and if he breaks up with you he didn't deserve you in the first place

How would you react if your girlfriend told you she was cutting herself?

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