My crush hugs other girls but not me... He treats me differently by not touching me? How can I stand out from the other girls he talks to?

[Anonymous]

So there's this guy I met a couple weeks ago at college. He asked me to coffee after I was the one who lwent up and talked to him first. It seems like he has various female friends... He isn't like a Casanova jock type.. He's a small kinda nerdy but super cute and cool dude. I don't think he has girls after him a lot.. He could. I really don't know. When we see each other, the first time he hugged me.. But after that he doesn't. Yet, with other girls, like today, a girl went up and hugged him and it was really awkward for me because I was talking to him. Or another time he was walking beside me and saw this other chick and they were acting like good buds. And then there's me.. He doesn't hug me or anything.

Today I saw him and talked to him, he was with a guy friend. And after I left I heard his friend say "who was that?" And he said that was "___my name, and where I stayed at here__" and I didn't hear what else. I know I'm attractive.. I've never been put in the Friendzone. But this guy just is so sociable and talks to a lot of females and males. I feel like I have no chance. He asked me to have coffee again this weekend.. So I don't know what to expect or how to tell. I can't tell his flirting vs not just because he is so friendly. There was a point where he looked at me last time in that.. Starry eyed way.. I didn't imagine it.. But still.. I want to be different than all the other girls he sees but I don't know how besides being attractive. I fall short everywhere else because I'm terribly shy and introverted.

[TheSavageTruth]

1. stop being so forward

2. stop being so nervous

3. he can probably tell you like him by this point

4. if he doesn't, then he very well may be inexperienced himself

5. stop putting him on a pedestal. he's an ordinary guy, just like you're an ordinary girl. slap yourself in the face, put some makeup on and show those tatas. Just kidding, but really - I dont even know you - but reading these 2 paragraphs I can tell this isn't you. Look in the mirror, and tell me that these 2 paragraphs are you.

This guy has gotten to you, he has cracked your shell - and that is the ultimate downfall of losing the hook in someone is becoming overly invested. They won't feel the chase if you run to them. Let him put the moves on you.

You can give signs, be playful - but dont initiate the contact, if he does - reward him, let him know you're open for business (I mean availability wise.) But dont come off overzealous. That can scare guys away.

Good luck.

[Asker]

How am I being forward based on what I posted here besides saying hi to him first?

[Asker]

But I would agree.. He has cracked me.

by the way, I always look my best. Makeup, nice clothes with enough revealed, nice long hair, etc. I can't just bank on my looks.

[Asker]

And I also don't come across as nervous. I'm pretty calm.. But my eyes get so wide when I see him which may give it away

[TheSavageTruth]

You went up to him talked to him first and every moment of conversation and words spoken to him you're trying to capture related to you and other women because you're borderline infatuated, which is normal. I just think you need to let it happen. You're thinking about it a bit too hard and may not be as smooth as you normally could be. I tied in the hi initiation with this detailed post. My point is he isn't this invested. That doesn't mean he's not interested in you, but right now you're chasing him hard compared to what he's doing to you. I'm just saying if you try not to be as mentally invested, you may behave less subconsciously snd more naturally. I think you're thinking too much and not going off of feeing and body language. Just take that date like its a fresh slate and play it from there. You're still in this one in my opinion

[Asker]

You're right. No dispute there. I know I'm mentally invested a lot. :/ I know he isn't.

Lol & actually I didn't walk up and talk to him.. I took the shy way out and messaged him on fb haha. But yeah.. With other guys I'm really smooth and calm and have all the confidence I normally have.. and this guy.. I'm trying to behave the same but it's hard when I was the one who initially chased him.. So it's like I'm already invested more since the start. Did I mess things up?

[Asker]

I don't try to capture his words as related to me or others. I just noticed it now. And we've only spoken like twice in person. It's not like I see him all the time and I'm hung up on every word he says..

[Asker]

& sorry (so many comments) I really do appreciate your thoughts... But how am I chasing him hard? When most of it is in my head?

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

just hug him. it's not hard or a big deal. i'm not even a social person, but i hug most girl friends i see. and he's not flirting with them.