Why do guys insult and put down other men so much?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Men and women both compete against their own gender for the opposite gender. The difference is that men are taught "sportsmanship" from an early age, often through sports, but even for those who rarely/never play sports, it is taught. Men learn to both win and lose, and by doing both, we learn that losing, while painful, won't permanently harm us. We learn to be competitive - even to "talk smack" with our competitors, without actually taking any of it personally. It's understood, almost universally, that it's all in jest, and that our ACTIONS (in sports, in business, in general) will do our REAL speaking for us.

Women don't seem to learn this as a rule (though clearly there are exceptions). Instead, most women are just as competitive, if not more so, but they take EVERYTHING personally. Even worse, they speak a language of subtext and two-facedness that most men avoid and can't stand - hell, most of us can't even follow it when women do it in front of us.

With men, two men might get angry at each other over something, and in a near-worst-case scenario, might get into a physical fight about it. Yet, once the fight is over, the past is usually left in the past, and often these guys can be good friends again. Women NEVER seem to forgive even the smallest slight, and will brood and boil for DECADES about some minor comment some girl made to them once.

So, yeah, you may hear what, on the surface sounds like insults and put-downs, but what's actually happening is that we're all humbling each other, and thus sharing an experience, which brings us together (again, there are always exceptions - the asshole guy who takes everything personally, but that's not what I'm talking about).

Women may be nice to each other's faces, but the crap they say behind each other's back is just AWFUL - far worse than anything I've ever heard a guy say - and a guy would say it to the other guy's face.

zerrozero7 · Accepted Answer

Depends on the group of people, but generally too much testosterone and they need to assert dominance over another man to become the top man in the group. Women might do something similar in a more civilized and subtle way to become the queen of their group, but it all depends on the type of group. Not all humans behave in the same way. Otherwise we wouldn't really be called humans and would be considered puppets or machines.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Competition. Guys are competitive, it's normal for them to hate on other guys. I've seen so many guys hate on other guys who are richer than them. Like if a guy has a really nice car, other guys might be jealous of him. They might say mean things about the guy because they feel threatened by his status.

Not always of course. Sometimes it's completely justified. But I feel like it's a bit of a competitive thing. Guys have traditionally been seen as providers. If they feel like another guy is a better provider, perhaps they feel threatened by that.

Rainie_ · Accepted Answer

Girls do pretty much the same... It's society really. People love to put down others so they feel better about themselves.

desidoll · Accepted Answer

Just like us women, they compete with each other too but in different areas. Mostly position and wealth.

tupperware · Answer

Normally competitive "play-fighting." The way animals pretend-fight sometimes. It's a form of bonding, weird as that might sound.

If it's sincere and one guy is trying to bring another down in front of a bunch of women or about a woman, it's competition. Kinda how the species works - men compete, women select. That is changing though.

But you'd be pretty surprised at how guys can be when there aren't women around. There is some of that banter, but there's also sincerity and support. It's an extremely positive thing for us. Look up Nora Vincent if you want to know more about that.

hellionthesage · Answer

They don't. Its an act its not actually what they feel. They believe its a biological/social trait designed to help men "toughen up" against adversity in a safe enviroment, thats why men give each other so much shit while still remaining friends. We are also competitive by nature and this also helps us push each other to become better which in turn not only helps the individual male but the society (since now he is being motivated to try harder which benefits everybody). Same with puppies play fighting, it lets them bond but also helps train them in the future when it will be against an oppenent that isn't playing (they also think thats why all major tickilish spots on a child are near major arteries, as a way to train them to instinctively protect those regions, as weird as that may sound).

OrdinaryGentleman · Answer

Guys do it because it bonds them, because it not only toughens each other up but makes a lasting connection. It allows guys to bring anything up in conversation and essentially be unafraid of showing who they are. In the fire department, military and most medical positions humor creates camaraderie and is what bonds people.

Loon309 · Answer

idc its just how we project ourselves. It's just how we good off and show our friendship. At least we're not like you lot and are two faced gossiping about eachother any chance you get. We're just playful. You're the ones throwing shade and making everybody uncomfortable.

DBAOracle · Answer

It's because of competition. Competition comes in 2 ways:
1) Man can compete by making himself better than everyone.
2) Man can compete by making others worse than him so he becomes the best.

It's very hard to go with the first way but easy with the second one. That's usually the main reason but other reasons do exist depending on the circumstance.

apexalpha · Answer

There is some truth to that because of effeminate boys coming through, but it has always been girls that are more passive aggressive and likely to take cheap shots so they can elevate themselves at the expense of another. Back bitting and gossiping has always been a women trait.

front2back · Answer

Testosterone. It's as simple as that. Testosterone increases competitiveness and decreases empathy. Therefore, men around men will put each other down. It's just biology.

justbanANNAz · Answer

#generalisation520 not as often as u think. I've seen it more among women actually.

AhGojira · Answer

The only time I see men taking pot shots at me in real life is when their girlfriend starts flirting with me. Basically they feel threatened. lol On the internet people just talk shit... It's the internet.

DasVoz · Answer

Usually it's banter. From what I've seen at least. Some of the most offensive statements can roll off our tongues but we know it isn't something to take personally.

Mistnigqa808 · Answer

We dont do that, we uplift each other, unlike women who're always at each other's necks about their looks. ain't that right @phoenix98? >_<

tedrocks123 · Answer

It's not really serious usually. When there aren't any women around, guys can be much more brutal. It's pretty standard for the people in my friend circle to randomly insult others in the circle, even if it's about a known insecurity.

Wanadadudes · Answer

It is a natural thing for a guy to be kinda mean to other guys and it could be for a wide variety of reasons as to why. For examples reply.

TheBootyChest · Answer

So they can feel good about themselves. Unless they are close friends then it's just comedic bonding.

Anonymous · Answer

(filler)

KawaiiPie67 · Answer

That's just how guys can be. But I hate listening to all of it. S'why I nvr wanted a lot of guy friends. Bfs only is fine for me.

PippiL · Answer

Everyone does it. Makes us feel better about ourselves.

dudeinohio · Answer

It's a sign of affection. Greeting another guy with an insult is a sign they are familiar with and comfortable around that person.

IceEverest · Answer

I wrote a quote on this a long ago... " A person who digs graves for others is the one who doubts his own existance in life"

ThisAndThat · Answer

They do because it makes them feel like the bigger man. The words (feel like) should be emphasized.

Avenuewriter · Answer

Because in most cases other men are competition.

I_am_repulsive · Answer

Too many ego in one room sometimes

idkwtftoputhere · Answer

cuz destroying feelings is fun

Jaron29 · Answer

Because we hate each other's guts.

tynamite · Answer

It's funny and it helps them to become better men.

Socialrealist · Answer

No man can put me down. We alphas are untouchable.

truthhammer · Answer

ain't NOBODY PUTTING ME DOWN.

Hashirama · Answer

Jelaousy is evolving.

admles · Answer

This is something they learned from women.

Zombie-Killa · Answer

That's just snapping, And coz it's fun.

RandomPerson1324 · Answer

Because it's competition...

Goldie757 · Answer

It's usually banter.

Anonymous · Answer

Who wants to join my flag football team?

thedenzzz · Answer

cos we can.

Why do guys insult and put down other men so much?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do guys insult and put down other men so much?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.