Why do men like war so much?

[Anonymous]

I've had a bit of a fight with my husband recently because his contract in the army is coming up and instead of leaving, he wants to renew it.

He always said he wanted to leave before starting a family but well we're already married and we might want kids within in the next few years and I'm just a little mad that he changed his mind. And I don't get why he is voluteering to go to war in the first place?

He went to west point, he's done over a decade in the army after that, he has done his time and then some, why would he want to stay? What is it with men and war?
Most countries rarley had trouble recruiting young men to go to war. Anyone can join the army these days, but the vast majority of people who do are men. And I mean that's great on the one hand, but on the other, why? I just feel politicians would start a lot of less wars if you had to draft people everytime, if people weren't so willing to go

[raio81597]

Men actually hate war, men love peace, this is why they don't usually get emotionally involved in altercations it's draining. If he goes to war that more about sense of duty to his fellow brethren and country. War is woman's business, not men. Women love men that fight, women often find men who are combative and strong to be a turn on, guys go to war often or start a war as a demonstration of power which is a turn on for women. Powerful men demonstrate preferred genes, in biological terms guys that fight translate to survival of the offspring to a woman's instinctual mind, for her the heroes that come home from war are the alpha males. I'm sure your man has proven his worth and you find him desirable, however given time and the way women tend to sub consciously test men, he will have to prove it time and again. No one likes unless their mentally ill enjoys killing another human being, I didn't when I was in the Gulf war, and I doubt he doesn't either.

[joeb73]

What my grandfather's told me is there is something you can not describe when it comes to the bond people who have fraught together have that can not be broken. He was given the option to be a drill instructor but he said no he is infantry and belongs with them. so he was sent back for his 3 tour in Vietnam. The army is who your husband is. If you want to see someone lost and feel he has no purpose then have him retire but if you love him let him stay in till he feels his job is done. that's the only way he will be able to walk away happy

[Asker]

But he has been on three tours to the middle east, he has done all that. His job IS done. If he renews his contract he'll be approaching 40 by the end of it. Do you really think they'll let him jump out of helicopters until he retires?
It's time to move on, like he said he would. Why would he say he wants to quit if he doesn't? I don't know what he is looking for? Being the last soldier that walks out of the middle east?

[joeb73]

my grandfather was one of thou that lied to enter ww2 then went threw korea listed as lost in action one time and listed as a pow 1 time in vietnam. up untill his retirement he jumpped with the 101st infantry. and untill his death 2 years ago he still wished he was with them. he's words to me when asked the about it is "theres something about the bond and comradery between people who have fought and relied on each other that can not be explained. only shared between them."
regarding your husband. yes i feel he want to stay with you but with everything that is happening in the world he would rather take it there than let it happen here where you and everyone else he loves could get hurt. its not about the war he is looking for its protecting you form ever having to see the things he has. thats why he feels the mission isn't done.

[Amanda1981]

Better to just avoid men who dabble in violence to feed themselves.

[Amanda1981]

Misogynist alert.

And no women do not find you attractive. That was the fantasy you had when you signed up. Sorry you're a sad sack.

[Anonymous]

Masculinity. They've been conditioned to it. That being said that's not every guy out there

[Amanda1981]

They're easily avoided. Does he drive a big truck? Vote Republican? Is he white? Just avoid.

[Amanda1981]

Also I guess women who serve in the military are "being masculine" lmao

[ImNotCreativeEither]

Not all men like war. But some men have it in their genes to be warriors. It goes back to the hunter-gatherer days. Humans lived in nomadic tribes which frequently came into conflict with one another. If some men hadn't evolved with a warrior mentality, the tribes would be defenseless.

More than likely, and this is just a guess, the majority of men were warrior-minded back then. I think it's less now than it was because as society became more complex, as civilization developed, less warlike men were able to find ways to demonstrate value and find women to pass their genes on with. So a non-warrior class developed.

[cth96190]

Because men are hard wired to be the warriors, the protectors. That is what we do.
I am a former soldier.
We do not like war, but be realise that it is a necessary evil.
If we are not prepared, if there are not warriors who are good at their job, everyone and everything that we care about is going to die.
Professional soldiers take great pride in their skill and military discipline.
Not many women could understand this, which is why women should never be allowed to run governments. Look at Sweden.

[abramsdriver25]

I've been in the Army for 8 years. My first 3 were on active duty and the last 5 have been reserves. I'm trying to get back into active duty now that its time for me to reenlist. Its a camaraderie thing. You can't find it in the civilian world. I've gotten out and after a few months I had to get back in. I've been to Iraq and I don't want to go back, but I will if I have to. Its hard to explain really. I get frustrated with most civilians because I can't interact with them the same way I do with fellow soldiers. They don't seem as efficient or competent in most cases.

[SapioPhilly1122]

right... you have other reasons but i wouldn't want to make you look like an incompetant asshole in front of your internet friends "abramsdriver25"

[Northeast106]

We understand what's at stake. Aside from that he has been in for 10 years, it's everything he knows. He also has a family to provide for now, and the military is a great career. We train and prepare for war, so that we can defend ourselves from those seeking to use violence against us. Not everyone wants peace in this world, sadly.

[Asker]

But there's always the constant fear of dying. Surely you'd better provide for your family, by actually being alive.

I know it's been a long time for him but he always said he wanted a change, that he knows it's hard on your family and that he wanted to change before having one

[Northeast106]

@asker Dying can happen any time, any where. You can die on the interstate heading to wal-mart for groceries. Fear of the unknown is no way to live your life. This is who he is, and what he does. TBH you knew what he did for a living before you married him and got pregnant for him. Instead of guilt tripping your man with your anxieties, you should be the one standing by his side through thick and thin. Also, why do you think it's politicians who start the wars? As if a volunteer army had anything to do with the necessities on the ground, you forget that this country drafted for the civil war, ww1, ww2, Korea, and Vietnam. All of those wars being much more costly than what we face in today's times.

[Asker]

First of all, I'm not pregnant, I was just saying we might want children in the next few years.

You couldl die anywhere but there is a higher chance if you're being shot at.

I knew what he did but I also knew he said he wanted to quit before having a family

[JuicyBrain]

Maybe it has to do more with fear of the unknown than liking war itself. Being in the army is the only thing he has done in a long while. He might be a little scared of change. What if the change is not for better? What if he finds a job and hates it and miss the army. What if it somehow changes your relationship and you leave him. Those are questions he is probably asking himself and that scares him. Ask him what are the real reasons he wants to go back.

[Anonymous]

What's his rank maby he want to leave the next rank and he went to west point with means a congressman a senitor are well as the president or vice president said he was good enough or his dad one the medal of honour and those are some big shoes to fill not to mention he probably knows lots of classified infomation he can't tell you that could be affect ing his desision

[Asker]

He's a captain. He does think a promotion is coming but still he'd also have good opportunities outside the army.

His grandad fought in Vietnam, but then spend the rest of the 50s protesting the war. I don't think he knows any senators

[Opinion Owner]

He got approved by one to go to west point

[Asker]

really? I did not know that, but I don't think they talked much or anything. He never said something

[Opinion Owner]

Well he probably never met he was probably just a file and he had to pick x many people to be allowed to go

[Redstang88]

2 reasons- sense of duty/responsibility and protective nature. Some men are natural born protectors, and there is no greater way of doing that than serving their country.

[Asker]

protectors of what? Because I'm sure he could protect his family better by actually being around and being alive

[Toreno]

We don't love war. We love things related to war, like weapons, military vehicles, military strategy, military athems and war simulations. But a real war? Everyone knows it's very sad.

[DBAOracle]

I personally don't love "war" per se but it gets me excited... LOL. I like reading about it, watching it on TV, I have 3 camouflage uniforms (Desert, Woods and Snow) and I'm getting my gun license.

[Prince_teddy4u]

Men wants to prove with power. Men wants to over power others and want dominance. Not only on matter of society and culture but in religion and sex too.

[TYler98]

We don't. It's true a lot of men can be very confrontational, and even look for the fight. Probably too much testosterone there. But your man could have other reasons. Maybe there's just other things he enjoyed about it, other than the fighting.

[chrisbigman]

Not all men do. But those that do probably are looking for their ego/pride boost of power/leadership.

[TheAngryBanana]

thats like asking women why they love drama and romance situations cause all women love that stuff dont they :P

[MoonlitSonata]

I hate war. I'm a lover not a fighter. I think it's one of the worst features of humanity. He was probably raised to think otherwise.

[Dred1614]

He's a patriot and loves his country. You don't deserve a great man like him.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

That is an incredibly stupid thing to say. First of all, don't criticize her for wanting to start a family under the terms they discussed. Being the wife of a man who's deployed overseas is incredibly taxing.

Second of all, educate yourself on the politics of war. Not every war is based on national defense, and criticizing a war that's only being waged so George Bush's or Hillary Clinton's friends can get rich makes you smart (unlike you), not unpatriotic.

Patriotism doesn't mean you love everything your country does without using your brain.

[Dred1614]

@ImNotCreativeEither woah. Someone in the military is a patriot, they love their country. Why else would they VOLUNTEER to serve and possibly die? I didn't say that he's a blind order-follower that doesn't think. That's insulting to say about someone. Obviously that doesn't concern you.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

You said she didn't deserve him which is an unprovoked attack. So don't talk to me about being concerned about insulting people.

[Dred1614]

@ImNotCreativeEither I wasn't going after her. I added that for emphasis on how good of a person he is. I guess it could be misconstrued in that way.

[Asker]

Ya I took it as an attack as well

[Dred1614]

I'm very sorry about that. I feel bad for you, being married to a deployed man cannot be easy. It would've been best for him to talk it out with you before extending his service. I wish you the best.

[Asker]

He hasn't extended it yet, but he wants to.

And thank you

[Dred1614]

You two need to sit down and talk it out. I hope you can work it out.

[ShayanMortazavi1]

Why do people like you generalize 3.5 billion people because of a few people?

[Anonymous]

might have been born in to a military family. if you couldnt accept that, whyd you marry him?

[abundantlyrich]

Guess he is patriotic

[orphan]

damn how old is your husband.

[IceEverest]

Because everything is fair in it...