My boyfriend becomes a different person when drunk?

[Poppyx]

My boyfriend doesn't go out a lot but when he does he just changes personality after one too many, he has never cheated or touched me violently, I trust him with my life but he gets so drunk he just seems to forget that he cares about me and treats me awfully whether we are out together or not. He screams at me, shouting at me, he accuses me of cheating when I honestly have done nothing wrong and always been a loyal girlfriend, tries to starts fights with people I know then I have to apologize and diffuse the situation, it is really embarrassing. In the morning he is really worried and does everything he can to make it up but it can't keep happening because I end up forgiving him cause he says it won't happen again. He is a completely different person when drunk but I don't want to say to him you can't drink but I don't know how to break this vicious circle. Any advise would be great, thank you.

[cth96190]

Dump him now and do not weaken when he comes begging and tells you that he is sorry and that he has changed.
If you do some reading in the medical literature, you will find that alcohol does not change anyone, per se. What is does is strip away the veneer of social conditioning to reveal the real person.
What you see when he is drunk is the real person.
Also, the very fact that he gets drunk should be a red flag the size of a roadside billboard.
If you make him your life partner, you will have a miserable existence with a violent drunk in a trailer park.
If you were my daughter, I would kick his arse and drag you home.

[joeb73]

there is a say " instant a$$ hole just add alcohol" thats your boy friend. what it is going to eventually come down to is you or him stop drinking. one thing that might help show him how he acts is record him when he acts this way then show him when he is sober. then ask him if his actions are acceptable. if he says that was just because he was drunk. then tell him, its not acceptable to ever treat someone like that drunk or sober

[musicbrain5]

To me, alcohol is a truth serum. People often reveal their true colours when they drink too much, because their inhibitions are lifted. There's no more filter. When he's sober, he is more aware of his actions and what he's going to say to you versus when he is drunk. I would not give him another chance if I were you.

My husband is one of those funny, philosophical drunks which is behaviour that doesn't pose a problem. Your boyfriend is the total opposite and that's a huge red flag.

[LandisLit]

Leave him. Drunk people always speak what they're truly thinking without a filter on their mouth. Ever heard that drunk people don't lie? It's true, they don't lie. I think the alcohol just showed you his true colors and you should run away from him. Your relationship reminds me of a domestic violence relationship when the guy says he won't hit her again but ends up hitting her again and again. He knows that you'll forgive him and he'll use that against you gladly.

[Cmasterson]

Its probably his insecurities to be honest, people can be brutally and overly honest when they're inebriated , now that you know it's repetitive, you can't really believe it won't happen again. I would honest ask him if the relationship was worth more and tel him to cut back on drinking. My ex refrained from drinking after he realized the type of person he was and all though he had a beer every now and then it's nothing over the top anymore.

[AIAthefirst]

nope, science proves that when someone is drunk they say all the things that are in their subconscious mind, that is your boyfriend without his brakes, he constantly accuses you of cheating when drunk is a red flag because either he secretly thinks you're a cheater and doesn't trust you or he cheats himself or he is excessively jealous. listen to the signs.

[Mesonfielde]

Actually, he becomes a different person when he's sober.

[AIAthefirst]

like!
my point exactly as well, all alcohol does is remove a person's brakes, that is his true self.

[Buttface99]

@AIAthefirst That is completely inaccurate. Alcohol is a depressant and an intoxicant, it changes your brains chemistry from its natural functioning state. It doesn't just remove someone's brakes. Hell, it doesn't even do the same thing between different people. Please don't spread this kind of misinformation to vulnerable people, it's kinda gross.

[AIAthefirst]

@Buttface99 please kindly go and read scholary articles and psychological papers on the effects of alcohol, come back when you see things from a scientific point of view, stop thinking with your emotions.

[Buttface99]

@AIAthefirst you think the scholarly opinion is that alcohol just takes the brakes off of people? Please bring out some sources here, I would love to be educated on thi sone

[AIAthefirst]

@Buttface99 I just got this a published statement.

www.rehabs.com/.../

a published work... you annoy me, you have no proof what I said was false, yet I a lot to prove it's true, I have done science for 6 years and do biology of the mind and briefly did psychology, what do you have to prove your right?

[Buttface99]

@AIAthefirst My credentials are that I'm a human being who is able to critically think and my first piece of proof is that no drug affects all people the same way. Making sweeping statements is ridiculous. Now, let's get into the down and dirty with this article. They act under the assumption that all people who drink are sociopaths. "Alcohol stifles reasoning skills and contemplating repercussions." This is their main argument (it also has no backing btw). They seem to be picking the ability to contemplate repercussions as the only thing that people use reasoning skills for which is absurd on its own. You'll notice that reasoning skills affect all sorts of other things, like our ability to judge intent as shown here (check mail) . It's also very common for people to face different forms of anxiety and frustration due to reduced processing ability. So let's sum this up. There are a ton of things going on in the head of a drunk. There is not one simple answer like you seem to believe.

[AIAthefirst]

@Buttface99 hah i finally understand your problem with my statement... do you understand metaphors? or similes? people under the influence of Alcohol generally become more loose, they do things without thinking it through or thoroughly... still with me? okay, when you drive a car and you are about to go over a cliff, you obviously sense danger and put your brakes on. now let us use this in comparison to when a person is not under the influence of alcohol and someone asks them "do I look ugly" the person would obviously say "no" to spear the other person's feelings right? but someone under the influence would say the first thing that came to their mind, immediately driving off that cliff hence the term "no brakes".

[Buttface99]

@AIAthefirst can you please drop the high and mighty act. If you wanna call yourself a scientist then you have to argue like an adult which means showing respect to the opinions of others instead of complaining about how they're annoying you or talking down to them. My problem with your statement is that it is an oversimplification of the issue. Pretending that alcohol only makes people say what they're thinking is naive at best. Like all drugs, it changes what they're thinking and how they think. Also, if your only source isn't peer reviewed and is clearly connected to an organization with heavy bias then I wouldn't tout it as fact. Jesus christ

[AIAthefirst]

@Buttface99 acting like an adult? your the one who said as a reply to my opinion "kinda gross" as an adult yourself you should know that anyone would take offence, don't start arguments you can't finish, but fine I'll drop this... good day and goodbye.

[Buttface99]

@AIAthefirst I've been continuing this argument. I haven't asked you to drop it. It sounds like you've been avoiding my points because you have literally no substantial evidence to back up your claims. Walk away if you want though, neither of us is going to learn anything here.

[AIAthefirst]

@Buttface99 okay now seriously I'm done, I think what I said is right and fits the explanation for the questions... but you think it's wrong so let's agree to disagree please just don't reply anymore. ok

[Buttface99]

@AIAthefirst my problem now is that you never actually bothered to respond to my points. Have a good day, whatever you do

[Buttface99]

It seems like you should lay down the law here. You're half of this relationship and that means you can take your half and go home if he's treating you poorly. An ultimatum about his drinking would be a very good idea in my opinion.

[Youdoyouboo]

Guess what... He's not two different people. It is impossible to be two different people. He is both in one. I think you deserve better. Be smart... I'm assuming you know what to do in your heart.

[Leykis101]

I would recommend cannabis for him. It doesn't destroy your body or impair your judgment. You'll do nothing high that you wouldn't do sober, except of course tear apart 8 ice cream sandwiches in one sitting.

[abc3643]

LEAVE HIM NOW.
Hostile drunks are no good.
You want to find happy loving drunks.
Alcohol is truth serum. Remember that.

[singlebee]

My advice is don't let him drink do much... At all.
Ask those single girl who are trying you to leave him and all bullshit don't listen to them...
Prime change when fully drunk... And each one act differently

[CandyStripes77]

I think his true self or at least emotions shows when he's drunk. If he cared about you and does it infrequently... then why would he continue? He could be venting, but that's so immature.

[Ginnyweasley97]

A drunk man actions are a sober mans thoughts. Leave him.

[xmissilex]

A mature comment from a young lady... Congrats...

[Ginnyweasley97]

@xmissilex thank you I have the sheepish grin on my face right now.

[xmissilex]

It should be a cute smile, I think you described it wrong ;)

[Sara413]

Who a person is when they're drunk is who they really are at the core...

[SunsetRose]

He needs to get his act together. You might need to break up with him.

[This_is_my_username]

Leave him before shit gets out of hand sista

[orphan]

just tell him if he drinks he gets no pussy.

[Prince_teddy4u]

He's trying to defend himself

[hoomblah]

what do you mean by that exactly?

[Prince_teddy4u]

@hoomblah he doesn't want to say same things and trying to be another person which can be dealt easily