Too much is, by definition, bad, but I assume you're simply asking if being a gentleman can be taken too far. The answer is yes, if you're being so much of a gentleman that it gives the impression you're doing nice things so that she'll like you.
People are attracted to people who are similar to themselves. If you treat someone like they are better than you, or that you are better than them, they will not be romantically attracted to you. If you treat a woman like she's royalty and you're her butler, then she's not going to be attracted to you.
Similarly, people are attracted to people who are confident who they are. A man should be confident that a woman will like him for who his is, not what he can do for her. If you're giving a woman your jacket because it's chilly out and you care about her, that's great. If you using her shirt to warm her feet because you think that can buy her affection by being her man-maid, then that's not going to work.
I did it because she said her feet are cold and she don't want to be sick. So I took my shirt off to do that.
The thing is, women (not bitches) do like a man that is a gentleman. The trick is... for your own sake so you don't waste your efforts, you have to make sure a woman EARNS these gentlemanly gestures you provide.
To me it sounds like you are doing these things to suck up to her because she has a vagina and you want to fuck her, to win her favor. Why do I say that? Because you wouldn't do the actions you described for a guy you had zero attraction for, would you?
Yeah, I thought so.
------
Make sure that the girl you do these gentlemanly traits for is 1) for sure interested in you, 2) not interested in any other guy more than you [guy your gut feeling], and 3) will genuinely in her heart appreciate these said gentlemanly gestures.
Otherwise you look like a desperate, deceitful, suck-up clown ass motherfucker that lets women use their "pussy power" to have you serve them... when you ain't getting no pussy!
Thank you for being a gentleman, sir.
I agree with jesshkah.. We girls like these gestures but unfortunately these days girls became more suspecious whenever they receive these things from guys because they aren't used to meet real gentlemen, and most of those who pretend to be gentlemen, they do so because they have ulterior motives. So we became suspecious cause we aren't used to it like women during good old day.. when real love and real gentlemen existed.
So you gotta just do what seems natural to you.. don't pretend or go overboard because girls might sense it.
I am in love with a gentleman who always treats me like that, respects me, and does sweet things to me. I really like it and never thought it is too much. It just makes me feel more of a woman and a lady whenever I'm around him. Maybe because he just showed me that he is not desperate and he does these things because he genuinly likes them and enjoys my reactions. :)
It's not a bad thing. The sad thing is that most women aren't use to this behavior now a days. So to some it even becomes suspicious and too good to be true. I can see that it might be a bad thing if you're this nice to ALL friends then your future girlfriend might feel insecure.
That's not a bad thing at all, some women may not be used to it though but its not a bad thing. Any woman that meets you someday should consider herself lucky. I really hope I meet a guy like you someday. To me a gentlemen is very attractive, mature, sweet, etc.
Thank you
Your welcome :) I wish there were more guys in this world like you. There probably are they're just hard to find like diamonds.
Opinion
22Opinion
Between the ages (roughly) of 15 to 30, most females want players who will break their hearts and sociopathic bad boys who will treat them like shit.
Ignore what women say that they want and watch who they pick. It will be the player or the bad boy, almost every time.
Old-fashioned good manners makes a man appear to weak and 'boring', therefore unfit to mate with her.
See:
Yup! It is best to wait until she is your monogamous girlfriend, or fucking, until you break out the overly romantic gestures like the "shirt over her bare feet" maneuver.
I have always found the stark difference between what overall women SAY they want and desire in dating, vs their actions and choices when it comes to dating, to be very interesting in their contrast...
...
...
... and so many women complain about the lack of "good guys". Us guys are simply adapting the successful guys in dating! :-P
I am the same way. I don't know to be honest, because I have been like this all my life and hasn't gotten me anywhere but cheated on. Today though, it seems a lot of women are into bad boys, drama, and whatever, so that's why I tend to just do me, and make friends instead.
I think you are the sweetest man ever and any girl who has you is the luckiest. Its a lost art now days I wish more men were like you. and the shirt thing is just like in the days of the knights when they would put their cloak down over a puddle so a lady could walk across without getting wet.
Well up to some extent yes, if you get to the point of "asking" if you two could kiss for instance, then its too much for me, I don't like that. And sometimes when he does too much for me I feel can feel guilty.
Girls like it! Instant plus points! Chivalry is good
Just be sure to be clear with your actions so she'd respond to your feelings accordingly and not be used like guys said.
It's just that sometimes, besides the fact like everyone said, sadly not many do this or other pretend to gain something. Also, when someone does a whole lot of effort for someone else, we feel bad as much as we appreciate it. She's a lucky girl ;)
No its just so rare, like I've literally never heard of a guy doing that, its so sweet and honestly I would cry too, not because its bad, but because its small things like that that warm people hearts, small gestures that make you believe there are wonderful people in the world
times are different.
women stay with men that make them feel insecure not secure.
women like dominance and even rude guys... but he is funny, grounded and has something going on.
you will get taken advantage of and used and disrespected
fuck all these virgin girls here who live in a fantasy. they really dont know shit
as a man you take advice from other men who are good with women, not men who suck and women whod tell you lies to beneifit herslef.
for me there's no such thing unless ur referring to those guys who are like leeches that won't get off u. those aren't gentlemen though... they're creeps.
Are you being a gentleman, or being a floor mat for women? there's a fine line.
Never a doormat. Just doing what I thought was right at the time.
Definitely not a bad thing. A rare quality, don't ever change! You'll find a chick who will love you to death for it, you'd walk on water in her eyes. I love chivalry and gentlemanly behaviour, it's lovely.
If you're being a people pleaser, hoping to get something out of it then it's bad and annoying in the long run. If that's just who you are, then it's not a problem and won't be viewed as such because it's coming from the right place. Genuine.
balance is key.
but the two things you listed don't really sound that bad, i mean the shirt thing was kinda weird unless you had 2 layers on.
but trust me, women love a gentlemen. in my experience, its always a good thing.
It's bad at least fer me... not bad but RIDICULOUS... I'm not a fuckin' gentleman and I'll never be... if she felt cold it's her fault she didn't wear socks to warm her feet... I won't do a shit about it since it's not ma fault...
And if a chick likes gentleman type of guys... she must be really dump so she doesn't deserve ma time...
Take off your shirt to warm her feet? lol What are you a butler? If she's your girl hold her and keep her warm, don't act like a slave groveling at her feet.
It's suspicious, like you're trying too hard, but if that's how you actually are then it's fine
Definitely true.
@LittleSally That's kind of disappointing to hear for those who were raised to be a gentleman. Perhaps you have only encountered ones who use it to expect something to come from it.
Why that should be bad? It's not at all bad by any means. It just means you are very sensitive and caring by nature
The girl should be catering to the guy, not the other way around #caterToYou #destinyschild
I, personally, would love it if a guy did those things for me, I don't think it's a bad thing at all
No it's not, not for the right woman, I'm happy to see positive stuff in the comments though, means gals still appreciate fellas like us.
There's no such thing as being too much of a gentleman! I want one for myself!
Helping her down the stairs was s healthy amount. Taking your shirt off to put on the ground is overkill.
I just thought it was right at the time. It was really cold that night and she didn't have shoes on. We waited outside the car for 10 minutes. I understand what you're coming from though.
I'd say a good rule of thumb is to not do anything for a girl that you wouldn't do out of politeness kindness for an old man. You can do a little extra on a date or with your girlfriend, of course ...
But bending over backwards to do special things for girls you aren't dating will drain you of your emotional energy.
Im not saying to not be kind and helpful - just don't treat them extra special until you know the feeling is reciprocated.
@Asker, yeah... you don't need to worship a woman like that. She might either get too used to it and expect it like it's normal routine, which may make you seem like her slave, or eventually, it might annoy her that you're overdoing it. Initial flirting stage is okay, it gets you attention. But you need the right kind of attention. And then when you're in a serious relationship, you'll want to do things for her and she'll want to do things for you (hopefully).
You shouldn't end up getting annoyed at yourself after a while is all.
I don't know about other women but I hope to meet a man like you. She should consider herself lucky, I would if my man treated me like this.
Girls want someone that can be bad like in the bedroom. That's a line between good and bad. Yes being too much of a gentleman is bad, but also being so much a bad boy is also bad.
@Prof_Don Neither, but have some bad boy in you means you have tons of confidence and not afraid to take on the world. Someone that is too-nice always follows and never think on their own. They can't become something special. Someone that is too-bad is always in prison and can't become something special as well.
You're closer to being her caregiver than a gentleman.
just don´t be the doormat that girls can step on all they want. other than that, i guess you can´t be too much of a gentleman.
No, being a gentleman is awesome. You made her feel safe and comfortable aroumd you, that's good!
Don't stop doing it! It's the most amazing thing! That a a man makes a girl feels like a real princess, and she is been taking care of. That you know that, the person is very sweet, attentive and caring.
Don't stop! Men like you are hard to find
its not a bad thing at all, i think its very great, romantic and good, most of the guys are not like this. you should be proud of yourself.
You actually took off your shirt to warm her feet?
Weren't you cold after that?
I hope she appreciated you enough for that. Not many people would do what you did.
If you do it a lot, it will make you look like a goody two shoes
Yeah, it is possible. In your case, you are definitely too much of a gentleman.
No? you can be but don't let her walk over you, there is a fine line you are walking.
As long as you're natural about it, it's definitely a great way to go
Yes and no I think the shirt put you in the nice guy zone so watch out and don't over do it
If your intentions are sincere then there is no purpose for this question.
At first Its alright but full time to much no one does that full time
being too much of something is always bad
It's not a bad thing! What you do is nice! And I wish more guys would do that!
Damn, where do I find more like you?
No I don't think it's bad
Not at all. Don't change. That's so sweet of you!
It's ok if you're not in a relationship.
You're 1 of a kind for sure.
Lmfaooo you nerds on here cringe me so much lol
Being to much of gentleman is not bad.
It is great!
No its not!
You can also add your opinion below!
Holidays 
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions