Should men still be gentleman or is this an old fashioned way of thinking?

Question

Do you think there is still value in men holding the umbrella for, or opening the door for, or giving a lady their jacket, or is this a very much antiquated notion of how men should act around women?

Insecure2 · Accepted Answer

I can only speak for myself when I say that YES MEN should be gentlemen. IT is not a question of whether IT is out dated or not, it's simply a question of good manners, manners which were often taught to them by their mothers. IT were their moms WHO constantly repeated: get your elbows off the table, wash your hands before dinner, do not tease girls, open the door when a lady is going through them, help the granny carry the heavy bags, etc. By following those rules they show how much effort their mothers put into raising them and how much they respect and appreciate IT. So men do not do IT for all or any women, do IT for your mothers. The good and worthy women will appreciate and understand that.

dustybiker2 · Accepted Answer

I don't think men should stop being gentlemen. Respect and kindness is appreciated. Only change I make from 50's woman is returning the favor from time to time. Meeting a man in the middle isn't a bad thing. Just don't bump his head with the umbrella.

bobby_bush_eater · Accepted Answer

I still believe this is how a man should treat a lady. When I was in HS I was admittedly naive and a focus on being a gentleman cost me some opportunities. I stopped doing all that during the military and college, that is until I finished both of those and realized I was right in HS.

I will do all those things because I believe that's what's right. Idc what society thinks of it. I will do all the old school things and I believe the man pays. I want a wife and kids so this will be the route I take to get there.

I also believe these behaviors are best for children to see and grow up under.

Static_In_The_Attic · Accepted Answer

Nowadays some men can’t even be men so if you want a man to be a gentleman a woman is going to have to be a lady but nowadays some women can’t even be women & nowadays some people don’t even know what they are.

There are gentlemen out there.

MisterWack · Answer

Women should be ladies and men should be gentlemen, being a nice & kind & helpful & respectable person in society isn’t a big ask. This doesn’t mean sacrifice values or put yourself below the other person though it does mean one needs to step up and be the bigger person to get stuff done.

Be respectable, be responsible, and yes most definitely be kind by being the lady & gentleman you have to be. Period. Period. Period.

Alexandra_Ramsan · Answer

A gentleman is one of the sexiest things a woman can ask for. It shows the caring side of a man and who doesn’t want a man like that to care for a possible future family? That is the end goal for dating after all, if you are dating to have a partner and not just a friends with benefits. Like Dave Chappell once said “Chivalry is dead and women killed it.” The radical feminist way of thinking that a man that does something like open the door for her is taken completely out of context. It doesn’t mean he thinks you can’t do it because you’re dumb or not strong and independent enough to do it yourself is a bizarre conclusion to come to. He is trying to be kind and caring to impress you. If you are truly of an independent mind, you will see this as something attractive and sweet.

ohsheeT · Answer

I don't care what it is...
men should always be a gentleman. . Or as the younger generation calls them now simps ... Label they have now don't really care but if I see a woman in need of help and that is having a hard time and if I'm there at the right place at the right time of course I'm going to help it takes 2 seconds to help somebody you need it's just who I am that's why and if I'm with anybody it's a way of teaching them who to be

DishLady · Answer

They should absolutely be gentlemen. It’s so endearing and takes the hard edge off of some guys’ personalities when they show they have good manners and will stop to help a lady, a child or an elderly person. It’s a polite way to show their sweet side.

mobiusforniner · Answer

This question comes up a lot. It’s not a matter of “should”. It matters where his heart is.

If a man does nice things for a woman in hopes of some kind of reciprocation, then his intentions aren’t truly gentlemanly or nice. If he does so because being good to people is a virtue for the betterment of all; well, I think most would find such gentlemanly acts both attractive and noble

blueonblack22 · Answer

50+ years ago a man exactly knew what his role was when it came to interacting with women and vice versa. He was expected to show chivalry and back then women actually respected that. Women didn’t see that as “sexist” or worse a sign of weakness.

I_Am_Ashamed · Answer

As if that outdated concept still holds any weight in today's world. It's as useless as a chocolate teapot, I tell you. But, I suppose I should share my own embarrassing tale, just to prove how much of a clown I am.

I once tried to impress a date by cooking a fancy dinner. I spent hours in the kitchen, meticulously following a recipe for coq au vin. But, in my excitement, I accidentally grabbed the can of cat food instead of the chicken. By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late. I had already mixed it in with the vegetables and wine. I served it to my date with a straight face, hoping she wouldn't notice. But, as soon as she took a bite, she knew something was off. The look of disgust on her face was priceless. I mean, can you imagine? Serving your date cat food! I still cringe at the thought.

HawkPerception · Answer

I don't believe in pulling the chair or opening a car door for a girl. I find that a little ridiculous. But stuff like holding an umbrella for her if she doesn't have one, giving her my sweater or jacket if it's cold outside and she doesn't have one, carrying stuff for her (because I'm the physically stronger one) I would do.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on the woman. If she's a lady who has traditional beliefs, then yes. Otherwise, it's just another traditional gender role that most people don't believe in anymore. But a woman who is not a lady does not deserve a man who is the male counterpart to a lady.

itsannalee · Answer

Depends on the girl. If the girl treat her man like traditional woman treat their man. She should get that.
If the woman is modern woman who think about gender equality then no. Everything have to be 50:50. Equal.

Justneedtokno · Answer

We still need gentlemen in the world everybody’s trying to be hard and have no feelings and whatever please don’t do that. There’s a time in a place for everything and a lot of women are not too chivalry, which is why we still need it so we can let down our guard to become soft and feminine

ChiTown33 · Answer

Yes. And the man should 86 any woman that doesn't think so. Opening the door for somebody should be fashionable for BOTH genders. Why? Because it's simply a nice thing to do. I know there are some women that'll laugh at this and call a guy a chump for this. And to guys I say, if you're doing for HER you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Do it because you're a MAN. And this is what real MEN, real people do.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s old fashioned. Out dated. It’s 2024 we’re supposedly equal. I’ll still do it for my wife, my girls. The females in my life who I care about. All the other women can fend for their self. Technically things sort of a type of gender discrimination.

hanabunny · Answer

I like guys who are gentlemen, I mean he doesn’t have to throw his jacket over every single puddle but it’s nice to get delicate treatment and it makes me feel feminine.

Pohjolan · Answer

Its no longer a  should . Not that there is anything wrong with it but the societal norms have changed. Women should perhaps have spared a thought to what is going to replace the gentleman as a norm or perhaps the women opposing chivalry the most were the ones who benefitted from it the least?

Sevenpointfive · Answer

women need umbrellas so their face doesn't run. it's quite scary if it does. women are too stupid, too weak and too confused to know what a door is. women get cold because they dress slutty for men.

you get what you pay for, i guess?

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Being a gentleman is what I do. I treat my partner like my queen, but I also expect her to treat me like her king. And if she doesn't. . . I'll find a new partner who understands the mutual responsibilities of a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

In a better world, men 'should' be gentlemen and women 'should be 'ladies'. But let's face it, women as a whole turned their backs on being ladies a very long time ago.

Should men continue being gentlemen when women are no longer ladies? Nope.

Anonymous · Answer

Being a gentleman is a traditional gender role. The only women who deserve a gentleman are those who are also willing to embrace traditional female gender roles.

So the answer to your question, it's a no for the vast majority of today's men because the vast majority of women today are against traditional gender roles (except of course the ones that benefit women).

Levin · Answer

I'm still a gentleman, but only for women who are still a lady. There is an important distinction there. A man should not be a simp.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

No. There’s no point in men investing their time and energy into being gentlemanly when women aren’t equally invested in being ladylike.

woskod · Answer

Yes, Men should be gentlemen but I don't understand why women try to dictate who is a gentleman and who isn't. Firstly, Men themselves will decide about that. Secondly, being a gentleman should have nothing to do with being servile towards women (how do women repay you?), a gentleman should be honest, loyal, hardworking, humble, etc. These are the values ​​that every man should profess.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Gentleman behaviour will require a lady to receive it.

I would not necessarily be a gentleman towards a woman who is too unqualified to appreciate it.

THAT's the traditional way :)

The low class has its own ways.

Jmpr760 · Answer

I've been doing things that way for years , and unfortunately it's only ever been taken for granted , seen as weakness to which the woman of interest lose respect for me for it.. or I've been told I'm only doing it because I want something in return, even though it's just my character to be nice and treat women with kindness.. fail rate 100 percent on doing thoose things maybe woman of this day and age want something else I don't know...

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

It’s dated, and women are the reason why. Men love to treat women like ladies. It’s the ladies who want to be seen as “equal.” So many modern women would cringe at the thought of a man opening a car door for them. You can’t expect men to be gentlemen, then turn around and say I want to be viewed “equal.” That’s having your cake and eating it too.

_piotr · Answer

This are all of forms of diminishing men turning them into butlers and slaves. The culmination of it was on Titanic where only women were allowed into lifeboats and men were even shot for trying to save themselves.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I love it. It shows that the guy is kind. But it shouldn’t be required for all men by virtue of their gender. Both genders should be kind to others, especially their romantic partners.

jshm2 · Answer

This isn't the 1950's dear. All those things are largely meaningless as "values" today. You act within the law, or society, you are in.

RageBabe · Answer

Outwardly a gentleman, but within the bedroom a demon.

genericname85 · Answer

well you only get to say it one way. if men are supposed to be gentlemen, women belong in the kitchen. simple as that. if women don't belong in the kitchen, men arne't suposed to be gentlemen. that's how to cookie crumbles.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

I like it. But I also reciprocate. It's all in the guy. If nothing else, I appreciate the effort. :-)

MicahRaine · Answer

When should a man not be a gentleman? Nowadays, sometimes being a gentleman is knowing that a woman doesn't want help and you shouldn't help her.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

A gentleman gets a feminine woman. 😉 Feminine women likes gentlemen. Boyish women like feminine men.

Makeushiver · Answer

I naturally do things out of respect. I don't necessarily pick up every check but holding doors, walking on street side, offering my jacket etc. I was raised that wah so its automatic.

just_a_potato · Answer

It's a nice moment when there are gentlemen out there, but it isn't a requirement or anything. As long as they aren't assholes I'm cool. 😂

Nikki1989 · Answer

If men want a traditional woman, they should start acting traditional themselves.

Raaj4you · Answer

Nothing wrong in being a gentleman but I can't be gentle towards trashy, rude, aggressive and argumentative women. I don't want her to open the door, hold the umbrella for me. I expect unconditional love, support and respect from her.

bobalife · Answer

Yes it’s definitely a good thing, love a gentleman :)  Some “old fashion” is need to be kept ❤️

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I believe in holding a door for a woman, I like the Old fashion way of thinking.

BadApple69 · Answer

I am old fashion. Of course we should be gentlemen.

strateguy632 · Answer

Dont risk it. she will call you sexist, "you think i need your help!"

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I'll just say yes. Most women like a guy with good manners & behavior.

jazzy34 · Answer

Of course they should. Who wants to be with an asshole?

RingOfFire · Answer

Human nature never becomes obsolete. Women want a provider and protector and this behavior demonstrates that. So it never goes out of style.

exitseven · Answer

I do not care when people say, I will still be a gentleman and so will my two boys.

paledreams · Answer

It can Also seem too British or too "weak"

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I definitely think it's important. It doesn't harm yourself or anyone else to be respectful.

DextroShade · Answer

Men should be gentlemen only to women who are ladies, which is a minority of the female population as most modern women are bitches.

Ladsin2 · Answer

A man should be a gentleman for a lady. There are very strikingly few ladies out there though.

Noekie · Answer

Of course! Men should always be gentlemen and women should always be ladylike. And if one of the two isn't, then the other doesn't have to be either.

Likes2drive · Answer

I still do all that for her and she feels it’s respectful for me to do that

FarmBoy13 · Answer

Yes, as long as they are with a woman who acts like a lady……. What goes around comes around

grega239 · Answer

Why?  aren't we supposed to be equals?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I do it but I won't do it for a woman I perceive to be a b&*$#

Abdulwahh · Answer

Well in my opinion men should still respect women generally and protect them however i dont believe they need to open the doors for women.

Bobbyshark123 · Answer

So. e girls get offended when guys try to be nice to them...

Caroline91 · Answer

I think so, if he can find a lady...

avery58 · Answer

If he wants to, he doesn't have to

thatshydork · Answer

I think men should still be gentlemen

RavVid · Answer

It is if women aren't ladies.

Should men still be gentleman or is this an old fashioned way of thinking?

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I believe in holding a door for a woman, I like the Old fashion way of thinking.

Do you think men are still gentlemen these days?