Do you think men are still gentlemen these days?
Men have no problem in being gentlemen, the problem is that in the last 15 years many things have changed, the wrong values have been put in front of the society, have a google search for "guys being too nice" and you would have 1'000 Articles written from woman telling you that how they don't like it, they like being treated this and that way, they think that the guy is a wuss if he acts like that, has no self worth etc.
There are still ladies out there, who would appreciate it, but let's be fair here, the ones who don't appreciate such gestures are far more in number than the one who actually do.
Unrealistic expectations leave to many failed things and experiences in life, mix that with the wrong values and you have a snowball rolling off the mountain, just getting bigger and bigger in size, thats how society is today.
Even while writing this message there is a Ad on this website with a video saying the following text :
"Mistake guys make in bed - ladies of girlsaskguys share their story"
-rushing through oral
- Don't forget foreplay
- Pounding like a jackhammer
- Focusing on your pleasure
- Not switching it up
- Long finger nails, ouch
- I lost her clitoris
What kind of message is being send here? There is not a single hint on :
-Communication
-Experiencing life together
- Being simple
-Looking at things realistically etc
Now you be the judge!
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- 4.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
There are very few gentlemen, because there are very few ladies. It was ladies who created the rules and expectations of chivalrous society, and it was ladies that pulled down those rules in favor of Feminism. The two are diametrically opposed.
Chivalry is rooted in the idea that women are inferior and require men to protect them and provide for them, and all of the politeness rituals grew out of that. Modern women chose Feminism over Chivalry, and here we are. Some may wish for the return of the advantages of Chivalry, but few are willing to sacrifice the gains made from Feminism to get it...
I believe that to be a gentleman isn't a full-time job. Like, there are those who can be assholes most of the time, and then become gentlemanly all of a sudden.
That said, the majority of men who are "full-time" gentlemen seem to be older, perhaps due to the fact that they were raised differently. (Although I do believe that there are gentleman under forty lol)
When it comes to finding these gentlemen, however, it can be quite hard. Mainly due to all the fuckboys out there. Like slut-shamers, or men who give unwanted sexual advances, then turn into assholes when rejected.
Personally, though, I don't like the gentleman idea. Like, treating women as if they are fragile, special creatures. I understand, it's kind to hold open doors. But do it just cuz you wanna be a nice human, don't just hold it open for the woman you're impressing. And I can pull in my own chair, dude. And honestly, if I pick a fight, it's cuz I wanna brawl, dude. I'm not asking for your protection, I'm asking for a fist fight lol.
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I think most men haven't been taught by gentleman and orders no even know what it means and those who are raised by single mothers haven't taught them properly either I'm not going to say all men cuz I don't know all men but I know that here in Georgia I haven't seen no gentleman I seen thugs fake ass pants wannabe parents fake ass players liars cheaters and deceivers they will say and do anything to get in your panties and get that pussy I don't know what they mama and daddy taught them but I know here where I move to their are full of s*** that I can see the ones that try and cross me up and come around me but older man it's possible still I believe that with older man yes. But not with these young guys these young guys have no respect for themselves they have no respect for their own mama or their grandma or your sister Aunty nieces or any female don't even know what they doing again not all but the ones I'm mad or seeing that train cake it to me or mess with me at College they full of s***
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Unfortunately no, this is the negative outcome of women wanting to be treated equally, work full time and have a family. We don't treat men like men anymore. Men in turn very rarely are confident and treat women as gentlemen used to. Women really don't need men like they used to, other than their sperm. With this change, many men deep down know this and have either become lazy or intimdated. They've given up. I sure wish things could go back to men being men and the leaders of their family and women stay home with their kids and focus on the raising of children. Of course women shouldn't have a family if they don't want to. When you come acrossed a gentleman you better grab him and treat him right because they ladies are like unicorns now a days.
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Yes there are, lots. It's just that some girls nowadays want to have fun and date the bad guys that they don't take the time to know the simple and normal ones. The average looking ones can be a gentlemen but people turn a blind eye. It's better to know someone inside and out and be open minded in order to find the right people.
Looks aren't everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the good looking ones are bad. This is why you should always take the time to know someone. You don't know what you can be missing out on. Anyone you meet, befriend them, take time to know their voice and story.
This is vice versa for finding a gentlewoman too lol.
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Men are barely even men these days, let alone a gentlemen.
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I like to think I'm a gentleman.
I'm NOT a metrosexual. The two are definitely not synonymous!
A gentleman is defined by his behaviour towards everyone. Many things that define gentlemanly behaviour have been reclassified as "sexist" by too many people.
Little gestures like holding a door for a lady, walking on the traffic side of the pavement, and generally treating a lady with respect for no other reason than because she is a lady have seen me get accused of being sexist for 25 or more years.
I've worked in offices as manager and I've done manual labour. It has nothing to do with sexuality.
The problem is that male role models have become stereotypes as one extreme or the other and female role models the same. A gentleman does not treat a lady in a gentlemanly way because she is weaker than him. He treats her that way because he respects both her and himself too much to do anything else.
Similarly, a lady allows the gentleman to behave that way, not because she believes he is stronger or she is inferior, but because she respects him and herself too much to be anything but ladylike.
So yes, there are still gentlemen out there. There are even ladies.
The thing is that they are eclipsed by Kardashians and Wests. Nobody would read a gossip rag that headlined "man treats wife and children with respect for 30 years - no beating or infidelity!!"
More's the pity. -
There are plenty of men who are gentlemen. Women just choose not to see them as such. I get it all the time. Especially from the Feminist crowd... yeah yeah I know #notallfeminists. But I get it from enough for me, the guy with Aspergers - the Autism spectrum Social disorder where you either can't read social cues and facial expressions or have a difficult time doing so, can pick up on their feelings on my actions on how I was trained to treat women. For example, I open the door for people, especially women and the elderly. On college campuses, I regularly get berated by feminists for being a sexist pig blah blah blah patriarchy and how I somehow think they are incapable of opening the door for themselves.
So, the next time I saw them coming and I was holding the door for people, I let it close. Again, I got bitched at. This time for not holding it open. I help people reach objects on top shelves being that I am 6'5" tall. I assist people with lifting objects, or solving a dispute in a calm manner before it gets out of control. I do my best to be a gentleman and good neighbor to those around me. I act based on the moral compass and code of ethics I grew up with. It is society in the last 10-15 years or so that has been changing how they perceive the actions of men and if they are gentlemen which holding double standards for the other side. -
Women want to have their cake and eat it, too. They have slowly muscled into the male domain for centuries and now are disappointed to find that men no longer grovel at their feet.
The simple fact is that men had a lot of power for a very long time, but women had a natural balance against this via sexual power.
Now that women are doing the same work as men and experiencing the same sexual freedom, men have lost their incentive to kiss a woman's behind.
A woman is no longer a man's object of affection, but instead his direct competitor in many arenas.
I don't blame modern women for wanting equal rights. I would want them, too.
But those equal rights come at great expense to traditional courting and mating practices. Men would be kinda crazy to continue paying for every meal, doing all of the romantic gesturing, and much more. The economics simply aren't there anymore.
Look at the mammal kingdom and you'll find that, in most examples, balance is achieved when males are the dominant gender and females withhold sex for only the best mates. Mammals are biologically programmed for this to be equilibrium. Modern women aren't interested in this form of equilibrium, hence the concept of a gentlemen changes, too.
Again, I don't blame women for wanting equal rights. I simply don't agree that equal rights is natural or inherent to the human genetic programming. -
I believe there are. However, for the few that are still "nights in shining armor" are now assumed to be strangely called gay or fags. Why, because of their kindness and respect for anyone around them, not because of who they love and how they love. I also blame the "strong independent" aka feminist community or just the plain new ignorant millenials. (I didn't say stupid, I said ignorant)
I went on a date with some girl a bit younger than I was some time back and the throughout the night I did the normal, hold the door for her from the car and whatever building we went through. With a smartallic remark she questioned what I was doing. I had to laugh it off and just a little debate about if I should do that for her or not should continue. Long story short we didn't meet up again after that.
So I guess I had to learn the kind and rude attitude of being a man and learn how to treat a lady, and a woman. Sounds weird, doesn't it. Apparently "gentlmen" have no choice but to evolve with ~what women think they want~, not what they deserve. -
More than you know, but there is an art to it. Being a door mat is not being a gentleman, that's being a "nice guy". I think that there are plenty of men that would call themselves gentleman would fall in that category. I did once, but unfortunately many women don't respond to what they have but do to what they dont. If we're too nice were taken for granted and if we're mean we're rewarded. So I wouldn't say there's really any incentive to be a "nice". On the flip side being taken advantage of for being nice hurts. The social standard has been changing giving more and more equality to the dating scene, finally it has given way to where mutual respect is the standard. The classic gentleman is an artifact of an understatement equal dating scene. He was the the exception when men weren't required to treat a woman with respect but did so because he wanted to. So I think due to these things the classic gentleman is dead but a new one rises. One that holds treating women with respect as a core Tennant, but also changing with the times and giving the joy of pursuing to tell other gender as well. That being said who ever made you ask this question isn't worth your time, promise.
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it depends of what you think a gentleman is. i don't think "gentleman" is a good word.
i think you should just pick the right person for yourself. for me now for example a "gentleman" is someone that makes me laugh, loves me, doesn't have to pay for everything or always buy me stuff, feels like he can talk to me and express how he feels, someone i can protect and not that has only to protect me. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT HE HAS TO PLAY VIDEOGAMES AND WATCH GOOD MOVIES WITH ME [lmao i'm joking (or not)] -
Well, I think that the concept of gentleman nowadays has gotten worse. They relate the definition to bad behaviour towards the women. But i like to see myself as another type of gentleman. I personally love the figure of a woman as a metaphor, not in a sexual way. What im trying to say is, that in my opinion the human being is something admirable, and the woman is a godess. Im not a gentleman in the way that i only open the door to girls, or things like that. I do that too, but i feel that being a gentleman is something more. Im a guy who loves spending times with girls. When i fall in love i only worry abour her happiness, and a try to do everything fot her to be happy. Because she deserves it. I behave in a respetuous way because in my opinion all humans deserve that kind of respect. And for women also. And, if i think men are still gentlemen? I think that there aren't as much as they should. But well, each person is different so
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Yes they do exist, just not many. Today's children are being raised as entitled spoiled selfish brats by many single mothers with extreme feminist views.
Im not saying all are but many are that way. They've been wronged in someway by men and raise their children to be "independent" and not "need" anyone else.
I can't tell you how many young men I know raised by single mothers that really hate the male gender. They've had it put in their head for so many years that all men are liars and cheaters that these guys don't even like themselves. Girls are worse, they grow up thinking if a man opens a door for them it because he thinks she's incapable of doing it herself or he must want something in return.
you won't get a gentleman or lady out of that type of upbringing. -
Women question why they have to act as "proper ladies" for men so I think the lack of gentleman is directly proportionate to the lack of women who are actually respectful and aware of those around them. The real question is, why do men have to be gentleman, especially towards women while women are not expected to return the favor in some way?
I try to be a gentleman, but this is not a courtesy I extend exclusively to women. For example, I hold doors open for men as well if I see them approaching a building I've just entered or left. This is public etiquette I think everybody should have, but for some reason, I see more men doing things for other people than I ever see women doing for other men and even other women. As a female, when is the last time you did something as simple as holding the door open for a male or another female that wasn't a friend or a relative? -
There's no point in being a gentleman because the traditional social structure to back it up is not there. First of all regular working people were not even consider gentleman so most of us here who are using this app would not be qualified anyway. Gentlemen usually were rich they owned land or property and did not work at a job. Haven't people learned anything from Downton Abby? Sorry ladies but Mr Bates was a regular working-class guy and he was not considered a gentleman. He wasn't in those upper classes.
Secondly the women would have to play their part and be completely submissive to her husband which is not even going to happen. So if we're not going to give up our rights and go back to the 18th century model then the whole thing is just playing pretend. Let's deal with the real world instead. I'm not a gentleman and I'm not going to pretend to be. -
Well some are still gentlemen. But way less than in the 1960s, because time changes. Not only that, but also because of feminism. Some guys are straight up douches, some guys tried to be a gentleman but got hurt by the people that misjudge them for being flirty. The only real gentlemen I know are mostly old people, that still do things the way they did them 50 years ago. When I do these things, it's considered weird and even flirty. But when I act like a total jackass it's marked as "being a typical guy". I try to be a gentleman mostly, but when someone dislikes me, or even hates me, than I can't be bothered to hold open the door for them.
- 1.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
For me being a gentlemen involves being a good person and is more than just holding the door for somebody or asking for permission to marry your daughter. It involves a life of consistent kindness, compassion, tolerance, support, confidence, self-respect, respect for others, integrity, honesty, humility and optimism.
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It is very difficult too be a true Gentleman there are many rules that I use to follow because I was told it was how to behave my Granddad told me this by the way. Don't swear , Give eye Contact when speaking , Never allow people to know your opinion on anything that may cause offence, Hold the door open for anyone behind you and let them through first , Never slouch , Never ask for anything , You must offer something if you want something, Never Lie , If someone asks your Opinion ask what they think first before going forward with the conversation, If things ever get heated in a discussion stay level headed and never raise your tone of voice, Never check your watch when talking to someone , If in a restaurant with company wait for all food to arrive. There are so many more rules but I honestly Can't be bothered to type them all out. Basically there are rules which govern everything that you do and if you were to adhere to all of them you would be a very dull person.
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I believe that the ideals of a “real man” and a “gentleman” are both things that not only change with the times, but are hard to define within their own time period. I’ve found that when we look on the past to those types of men and on masculine archetypes whom we typically refer to as gentlemen, the only common thread is that while there’s no guarantee they will be respected or even treated fairly by their peers, they are remembered as people who lived their lives by being kind and polite to as many people as they could humanly manage to be. And while some may stumble and fail a few times to be kind to someone, it’s often portrayed as an attempt to show kindness for someone else.
No one should worry about this sort of thing. It’s much easier, more productive, and more respectable to just strive to be a good person in general. -
There are still a lot of chivalrous men out there. Just because you don't find them or talk to them it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Try talking to more men in public places and don't be afraid to approach men, as some of the chivalrous ones "may" be a little intimidated by a good looking woman. Generally, most women get asked out. If you play the numbers game you may find the one you're looking for.
I don't think it's dead, I just think you have to broaden your horizons and find different approaches, or be the one to approach. Am by no means saying go for a quiet guy lol. Some men have the same fears as women when it comes to being turned away. Try something new and different locations, also don't judge a book by its cover either. Who knows, the fellow sitting on the bus next to you may be a chivalrous man or just a bum... You don't know until you make a conversation. Live free, conversations don't cost anything and thry don't often hurt either 😉 -
No, because:
1) higher levels of fatherlessness/single motherhood. Growing boys have no one to teach them.
2) Culture doesn't want it. Most women, in my experience don't want a gentleman. At the very least, they see him as boring.
3) Modern feminism pushes the idea that all "sexism," even "benevolent sexism" is bad. There is actually a push to treat men who act like gentlemen as misogynists. And so men abandon being gentlemen, either because they're afraid that "gentlemanly behavior" will get them labeled as a bigot, or because they feel they're wasting time trying to be decent and respectful, when they face nothing but scorn for it. -
Woman have too much power for the 'gentleman' to be an appropriate display of sustainable value to a woman. A woman wants a gentleman so that she can be pandered with convenience, but in the age of strict equality policing, the archetype of a gentleman only happens if a guy accommodates her exploitation of his dignity or money: the only way he can prove he is a gentleman, is by forgiving her bad behaviors at his own expense, while meeting all the standards he let's her break, proving he is both a gentleman and not worthy of respect.
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I think the term gentleman is a very misunderstood term these days. Without getting into morals or ethics to heavily, I will give an example. I was taught you open the door for others (woman or men it is common courtesy) however there have been times where my actions have been met with contempt from both genders. Usually goes along the line of "I am independent... I don't need your help". I haven't stopped doing it because of the few negative responses. However it brings up the question what does it mean to be a gentleman in this day in age? There have been some changes to the meaning it seems. Common courtesy is my eyes is dead but to others it is still around.
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Part of being a gentleman is putting people first and going by a code which you do not expect gratitude from but follow because it can make someone's day better. Female version is a lady. So guys shouldn't make it all about feminist stuff.
Holding the door open for another. Offering to foot the bill. Offering your seat to another. Letting someone past first in a narrow walkway. Basically offering to make a moment in someone's life easier. I think a lot of men have chosen to forget. Use that crap that females want equal this equal that! What we want is respect and understanding that our gender doesn't limit us. Men can be gentleman without being sexist. Just ignore the females disillusioned enough to take a guy being a gentleman to mean he thinks all women need looking after and are weak etc.
Okay rambled on. Summary is from my experience there are not a lot of Gentleman's left. Too bad aye.
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