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Men have no problem in being gentlemen, the problem is that in the last 15 years many things have changed, the wrong values have been put in front of the society, have a google search for "guys being too nice" and you would have 1'000 Articles written from woman telling you that how they don't like it, they like being treated this and that way, they think that the guy is a wuss if he acts like that, has no self worth etc.
There are still ladies out there, who would appreciate it, but let's be fair here, the ones who don't appreciate such gestures are far more in number than the one who actually do.
Unrealistic expectations leave to many failed things and experiences in life, mix that with the wrong values and you have a snowball rolling off the mountain, just getting bigger and bigger in size, thats how society is today.
Even while writing this message there is a Ad on this website with a video saying the following text :
"Mistake guys make in bed - ladies of girlsaskguys share their story"
-rushing through oral
- Don't forget foreplay
- Pounding like a jackhammer
- Focusing on your pleasure
- Not switching it up
- Long finger nails, ouch
- I lost her clitoris
What kind of message is being send here? There is not a single hint on :
-Communication
-Experiencing life together
- Being simple
-Looking at things realistically etc
Now you be the judge!31 Reply- +1 y
Listen closley. you'll find a gentleman at the farthest edge away from social adaptation. You can find us living in the world not being a product of the world.
Most Helpful Opinions
4.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. There are very few gentlemen, because there are very few ladies. It was ladies who created the rules and expectations of chivalrous society, and it was ladies that pulled down those rules in favor of Feminism. The two are diametrically opposed.
Chivalry is rooted in the idea that women are inferior and require men to protect them and provide for them, and all of the politeness rituals grew out of that. Modern women chose Feminism over Chivalry, and here we are. Some may wish for the return of the advantages of Chivalry, but few are willing to sacrifice the gains made from Feminism to get it...72 Reply- +1 y
he's right...
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I believe that to be a gentleman isn't a full-time job. Like, there are those who can be assholes most of the time, and then become gentlemanly all of a sudden.
That said, the majority of men who are "full-time" gentlemen seem to be older, perhaps due to the fact that they were raised differently. (Although I do believe that there are gentleman under forty lol)
When it comes to finding these gentlemen, however, it can be quite hard. Mainly due to all the fuckboys out there. Like slut-shamers, or men who give unwanted sexual advances, then turn into assholes when rejected.
Personally, though, I don't like the gentleman idea. Like, treating women as if they are fragile, special creatures. I understand, it's kind to hold open doors. But do it just cuz you wanna be a nice human, don't just hold it open for the woman you're impressing. And I can pull in my own chair, dude. And honestly, if I pick a fight, it's cuz I wanna brawl, dude. I'm not asking for your protection, I'm asking for a fist fight lol.12 Reply- +1 y
We know that you can do all these things on your own but we do this stuff because we want to
I think most men haven't been taught by gentleman and orders no even know what it means and those who are raised by single mothers haven't taught them properly either I'm not going to say all men cuz I don't know all men but I know that here in Georgia I haven't seen no gentleman I seen thugs fake ass pants wannabe parents fake ass players liars cheaters and deceivers they will say and do anything to get in your panties and get that pussy I don't know what they mama and daddy taught them but I know here where I move to their are full of s*** that I can see the ones that try and cross me up and come around me but older man it's possible still I believe that with older man yes. But not with these young guys these young guys have no respect for themselves they have no respect for their own mama or their grandma or your sister Aunty nieces or any female don't even know what they doing again not all but the ones I'm mad or seeing that train cake it to me or mess with me at College they full of s***
00 Reply
Unfortunately no, this is the negative outcome of women wanting to be treated equally, work full time and have a family. We don't treat men like men anymore. Men in turn very rarely are confident and treat women as gentlemen used to. Women really don't need men like they used to, other than their sperm. With this change, many men deep down know this and have either become lazy or intimdated. They've given up. I sure wish things could go back to men being men and the leaders of their family and women stay home with their kids and focus on the raising of children. Of course women shouldn't have a family if they don't want to. When you come acrossed a gentleman you better grab him and treat him right because they ladies are like unicorns now a days.
42 Reply- +1 y
I think when men see women throwing themselves at rich assholes. They see no point to be a gentleman anymore. They would rather focus on getting rich.
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Yes there are, lots. It's just that some girls nowadays want to have fun and date the bad guys that they don't take the time to know the simple and normal ones. The average looking ones can be a gentlemen but people turn a blind eye. It's better to know someone inside and out and be open minded in order to find the right people.
Looks aren't everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the good looking ones are bad. This is why you should always take the time to know someone. You don't know what you can be missing out on. Anyone you meet, befriend them, take time to know their voice and story.
This is vice versa for finding a gentlewoman too lol.50 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
580Opinion
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Men are barely even men these days, let alone a gentlemen.
11 Reply- +1 y
Can u please explain
489 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. I like to think I'm a gentleman.
I'm NOT a metrosexual. The two are definitely not synonymous!
A gentleman is defined by his behaviour towards everyone. Many things that define gentlemanly behaviour have been reclassified as "sexist" by too many people.
Little gestures like holding a door for a lady, walking on the traffic side of the pavement, and generally treating a lady with respect for no other reason than because she is a lady have seen me get accused of being sexist for 25 or more years.
I've worked in offices as manager and I've done manual labour. It has nothing to do with sexuality.
The problem is that male role models have become stereotypes as one extreme or the other and female role models the same. A gentleman does not treat a lady in a gentlemanly way because she is weaker than him. He treats her that way because he respects both her and himself too much to do anything else.
Similarly, a lady allows the gentleman to behave that way, not because she believes he is stronger or she is inferior, but because she respects him and herself too much to be anything but ladylike.
So yes, there are still gentlemen out there. There are even ladies.
The thing is that they are eclipsed by Kardashians and Wests. Nobody would read a gossip rag that headlined "man treats wife and children with respect for 30 years - no beating or infidelity!!"
More's the pity.20 ReplyThere are plenty of men who are gentlemen. Women just choose not to see them as such. I get it all the time. Especially from the Feminist crowd... yeah yeah I know #notallfeminists. But I get it from enough for me, the guy with Aspergers - the Autism spectrum Social disorder where you either can't read social cues and facial expressions or have a difficult time doing so, can pick up on their feelings on my actions on how I was trained to treat women. For example, I open the door for people, especially women and the elderly. On college campuses, I regularly get berated by feminists for being a sexist pig blah blah blah patriarchy and how I somehow think they are incapable of opening the door for themselves.
So, the next time I saw them coming and I was holding the door for people, I let it close. Again, I got bitched at. This time for not holding it open. I help people reach objects on top shelves being that I am 6'5" tall. I assist people with lifting objects, or solving a dispute in a calm manner before it gets out of control. I do my best to be a gentleman and good neighbor to those around me. I act based on the moral compass and code of ethics I grew up with. It is society in the last 10-15 years or so that has been changing how they perceive the actions of men and if they are gentlemen which holding double standards for the other side.10 Reply- +1 y
Women want to have their cake and eat it, too. They have slowly muscled into the male domain for centuries and now are disappointed to find that men no longer grovel at their feet.
The simple fact is that men had a lot of power for a very long time, but women had a natural balance against this via sexual power.
Now that women are doing the same work as men and experiencing the same sexual freedom, men have lost their incentive to kiss a woman's behind.
A woman is no longer a man's object of affection, but instead his direct competitor in many arenas.
I don't blame modern women for wanting equal rights. I would want them, too.
But those equal rights come at great expense to traditional courting and mating practices. Men would be kinda crazy to continue paying for every meal, doing all of the romantic gesturing, and much more. The economics simply aren't there anymore.
Look at the mammal kingdom and you'll find that, in most examples, balance is achieved when males are the dominant gender and females withhold sex for only the best mates. Mammals are biologically programmed for this to be equilibrium. Modern women aren't interested in this form of equilibrium, hence the concept of a gentlemen changes, too.
Again, I don't blame women for wanting equal rights. I simply don't agree that equal rights is natural or inherent to the human genetic programming.32 Reply- +1 y
Reading your comment poured the cringe-y-ness out of my nose like Japanese hentai nosebleeds.
For fuck's sake, leave the past and let me borrow your time machine. - +1 y
Jaquelline... Can you help by correcting where I am wrong and acknowledging where I am right?
I believe there are. However, for the few that are still "nights in shining armor" are now assumed to be strangely called gay or fags. Why, because of their kindness and respect for anyone around them, not because of who they love and how they love. I also blame the "strong independent" aka feminist community or just the plain new ignorant millenials. (I didn't say stupid, I said ignorant)
I went on a date with some girl a bit younger than I was some time back and the throughout the night I did the normal, hold the door for her from the car and whatever building we went through. With a smartallic remark she questioned what I was doing. I had to laugh it off and just a little debate about if I should do that for her or not should continue. Long story short we didn't meet up again after that.
So I guess I had to learn the kind and rude attitude of being a man and learn how to treat a lady, and a woman. Sounds weird, doesn't it. Apparently "gentlmen" have no choice but to evolve with ~what women think they want~, not what they deserve.00 Reply- +1 y
More than you know, but there is an art to it. Being a door mat is not being a gentleman, that's being a "nice guy". I think that there are plenty of men that would call themselves gentleman would fall in that category. I did once, but unfortunately many women don't respond to what they have but do to what they dont. If we're too nice were taken for granted and if we're mean we're rewarded. So I wouldn't say there's really any incentive to be a "nice". On the flip side being taken advantage of for being nice hurts. The social standard has been changing giving more and more equality to the dating scene, finally it has given way to where mutual respect is the standard. The classic gentleman is an artifact of an understatement equal dating scene. He was the the exception when men weren't required to treat a woman with respect but did so because he wanted to. So I think due to these things the classic gentleman is dead but a new one rises. One that holds treating women with respect as a core Tennant, but also changing with the times and giving the joy of pursuing to tell other gender as well. That being said who ever made you ask this question isn't worth your time, promise.
00 Reply it depends of what you think a gentleman is. i don't think "gentleman" is a good word.
i think you should just pick the right person for yourself. for me now for example a "gentleman" is someone that makes me laugh, loves me, doesn't have to pay for everything or always buy me stuff, feels like he can talk to me and express how he feels, someone i can protect and not that has only to protect me. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT HE HAS TO PLAY VIDEOGAMES AND WATCH GOOD MOVIES WITH ME [lmao i'm joking (or not)]513 Reply- +1 y
Well, I think that the concept of gentleman nowadays has gotten worse. They relate the definition to bad behaviour towards the women. But i like to see myself as another type of gentleman. I personally love the figure of a woman as a metaphor, not in a sexual way. What im trying to say is, that in my opinion the human being is something admirable, and the woman is a godess. Im not a gentleman in the way that i only open the door to girls, or things like that. I do that too, but i feel that being a gentleman is something more. Im a guy who loves spending times with girls. When i fall in love i only worry abour her happiness, and a try to do everything fot her to be happy. Because she deserves it. I behave in a respetuous way because in my opinion all humans deserve that kind of respect. And for women also. And, if i think men are still gentlemen? I think that there aren't as much as they should. But well, each person is different so
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Yes they do exist, just not many. Today's children are being raised as entitled spoiled selfish brats by many single mothers with extreme feminist views.
Im not saying all are but many are that way. They've been wronged in someway by men and raise their children to be "independent" and not "need" anyone else.
I can't tell you how many young men I know raised by single mothers that really hate the male gender. They've had it put in their head for so many years that all men are liars and cheaters that these guys don't even like themselves. Girls are worse, they grow up thinking if a man opens a door for them it because he thinks she's incapable of doing it herself or he must want something in return.
you won't get a gentleman or lady out of that type of upbringing.35 Reply- +1 y
Are you a male with a female account? That’s pretty red pilled
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Nope definitely a girl 😂
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Well Men raised like that are good for society. They’re not capable of leading so they follow and do every job needed. We need males like tha
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No we need men that act like men. Confident, capable and with a strong will to succeed.
Not ones that are more sheep that do as their told with no balls to stand up for themselves or anything they believe in.
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Women question why they have to act as "proper ladies" for men so I think the lack of gentleman is directly proportionate to the lack of women who are actually respectful and aware of those around them. The real question is, why do men have to be gentleman, especially towards women while women are not expected to return the favor in some way?
I try to be a gentleman, but this is not a courtesy I extend exclusively to women. For example, I hold doors open for men as well if I see them approaching a building I've just entered or left. This is public etiquette I think everybody should have, but for some reason, I see more men doing things for other people than I ever see women doing for other men and even other women. As a female, when is the last time you did something as simple as holding the door open for a male or another female that wasn't a friend or a relative?31 Reply- +1 y
I think that’s better than I could’ve ever put it. Well done 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
There's no point in being a gentleman because the traditional social structure to back it up is not there. First of all regular working people were not even consider gentleman so most of us here who are using this app would not be qualified anyway. Gentlemen usually were rich they owned land or property and did not work at a job. Haven't people learned anything from Downton Abby? Sorry ladies but Mr Bates was a regular working-class guy and he was not considered a gentleman. He wasn't in those upper classes.
Secondly the women would have to play their part and be completely submissive to her husband which is not even going to happen. So if we're not going to give up our rights and go back to the 18th century model then the whole thing is just playing pretend. Let's deal with the real world instead. I'm not a gentleman and I'm not going to pretend to be.30 ReplyWell some are still gentlemen. But way less than in the 1960s, because time changes. Not only that, but also because of feminism. Some guys are straight up douches, some guys tried to be a gentleman but got hurt by the people that misjudge them for being flirty. The only real gentlemen I know are mostly old people, that still do things the way they did them 50 years ago. When I do these things, it's considered weird and even flirty. But when I act like a total jackass it's marked as "being a typical guy". I try to be a gentleman mostly, but when someone dislikes me, or even hates me, than I can't be bothered to hold open the door for them.
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For me being a gentlemen involves being a good person and is more than just holding the door for somebody or asking for permission to marry your daughter. It involves a life of consistent kindness, compassion, tolerance, support, confidence, self-respect, respect for others, integrity, honesty, humility and optimism.
45 Reply- +1 y
Chivalry isn't dead. It all depends on how much this woman means to me as a man
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I must be a gentleman. I remember asking my first girlfriends father if I could date her. Thanks for letting me realize this.
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Summons it up quite well
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@jennifer_bloom your so right hands down however if the man that is with a woman and he loves her, there is no limit as to what that man would do and sacrafice to keep that woman in his Life or win her heart back
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@silvertattshung
maybe you can only to win it once, some girls are like that. Some have been disappointed too many times. Never disappoint the one.
It is very difficult too be a true Gentleman there are many rules that I use to follow because I was told it was how to behave my Granddad told me this by the way. Don't swear , Give eye Contact when speaking , Never allow people to know your opinion on anything that may cause offence, Hold the door open for anyone behind you and let them through first , Never slouch , Never ask for anything , You must offer something if you want something, Never Lie , If someone asks your Opinion ask what they think first before going forward with the conversation, If things ever get heated in a discussion stay level headed and never raise your tone of voice, Never check your watch when talking to someone , If in a restaurant with company wait for all food to arrive. There are so many more rules but I honestly Can't be bothered to type them all out. Basically there are rules which govern everything that you do and if you were to adhere to all of them you would be a very dull person.
20 ReplyI believe that the ideals of a “real man” and a “gentleman” are both things that not only change with the times, but are hard to define within their own time period. I’ve found that when we look on the past to those types of men and on masculine archetypes whom we typically refer to as gentlemen, the only common thread is that while there’s no guarantee they will be respected or even treated fairly by their peers, they are remembered as people who lived their lives by being kind and polite to as many people as they could humanly manage to be. And while some may stumble and fail a few times to be kind to someone, it’s often portrayed as an attempt to show kindness for someone else.
No one should worry about this sort of thing. It’s much easier, more productive, and more respectable to just strive to be a good person in general.00 Reply- +1 y
There are still a lot of chivalrous men out there. Just because you don't find them or talk to them it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Try talking to more men in public places and don't be afraid to approach men, as some of the chivalrous ones "may" be a little intimidated by a good looking woman. Generally, most women get asked out. If you play the numbers game you may find the one you're looking for.
I don't think it's dead, I just think you have to broaden your horizons and find different approaches, or be the one to approach. Am by no means saying go for a quiet guy lol. Some men have the same fears as women when it comes to being turned away. Try something new and different locations, also don't judge a book by its cover either. Who knows, the fellow sitting on the bus next to you may be a chivalrous man or just a bum... You don't know until you make a conversation. Live free, conversations don't cost anything and thry don't often hurt either 😉00 Reply No, because:
1) higher levels of fatherlessness/single motherhood. Growing boys have no one to teach them.
2) Culture doesn't want it. Most women, in my experience don't want a gentleman. At the very least, they see him as boring.
3) Modern feminism pushes the idea that all "sexism," even "benevolent sexism" is bad. There is actually a push to treat men who act like gentlemen as misogynists. And so men abandon being gentlemen, either because they're afraid that "gentlemanly behavior" will get them labeled as a bigot, or because they feel they're wasting time trying to be decent and respectful, when they face nothing but scorn for it.00 Reply- +1 y
Woman have too much power for the 'gentleman' to be an appropriate display of sustainable value to a woman. A woman wants a gentleman so that she can be pandered with convenience, but in the age of strict equality policing, the archetype of a gentleman only happens if a guy accommodates her exploitation of his dignity or money: the only way he can prove he is a gentleman, is by forgiving her bad behaviors at his own expense, while meeting all the standards he let's her break, proving he is both a gentleman and not worthy of respect.
00 Reply - +1 y
I think the term gentleman is a very misunderstood term these days. Without getting into morals or ethics to heavily, I will give an example. I was taught you open the door for others (woman or men it is common courtesy) however there have been times where my actions have been met with contempt from both genders. Usually goes along the line of "I am independent... I don't need your help". I haven't stopped doing it because of the few negative responses. However it brings up the question what does it mean to be a gentleman in this day in age? There have been some changes to the meaning it seems. Common courtesy is my eyes is dead but to others it is still around.
00 Reply - +1 y
Part of being a gentleman is putting people first and going by a code which you do not expect gratitude from but follow because it can make someone's day better. Female version is a lady. So guys shouldn't make it all about feminist stuff.
Holding the door open for another. Offering to foot the bill. Offering your seat to another. Letting someone past first in a narrow walkway. Basically offering to make a moment in someone's life easier. I think a lot of men have chosen to forget. Use that crap that females want equal this equal that! What we want is respect and understanding that our gender doesn't limit us. Men can be gentleman without being sexist. Just ignore the females disillusioned enough to take a guy being a gentleman to mean he thinks all women need looking after and are weak etc.
Okay rambled on. Summary is from my experience there are not a lot of Gentleman's left. Too bad aye.01 Reply- +1 y
I like the part with equality
I think today's perspective of men and women put a damper on these types of ideals. Women are more independent and ambitious than previous decades which is great. With that though, any sign of certain courtesy gestures from men can be met with backlash that may have been seen as a gentlemen like previously. Women have had to fight and struggle to get what they've gotten so far. So any slight feeling that someone is looking down on them or doing such a gesture just because they are a woman can make it seem like the guy sees them as inferior and they need to take care of the woman. In actuality, the woman just want a to be equal. So since men get that backlash or resentment from some women, they start to stop doing it for all women.
I think it comes down to finding a way to do these gentlemen gestures without making the woman unequal. That is something our culture needs to come up with.00 ReplySome are, some try but are set to fail due to bad teachers, and more just give up because ladies are hard to find especially when teenagers due to third wave feminism.
If a man risks accusations for merely complimenting or asking out or even just chatting to a girl, why would he? Now this may not be the case but if he thinks this is the case it will yield the same result.
I try to be a gentleman but it's hard to learn at my age because many girls are less like ladies and more shallow and inconsiderate, if there are ladies at my age and location then I haven't found any who are willing to show their colors. Maybe this will change as I get older and meet more people.00 ReplyBeing a Gentleman is not the same as being a man. It means adhering to a strict moral code and sticking to an appropriate, classic and timeless style despite what is going on in the world and society around that said gentleman. To answer your question, I do not believe men as a whole are gentlemen, in this modern era; however, I do also believe that there are still gentlemen out there as well as men with high moral codes and ethics that aren't quite gentlemen but are the next best thing. But hey, that is simply my opinion.
12 Reply- +1 y
It's a quote not sure from where... But you need to first be a man to become a gentleman.
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What is a gentleman? In this context, that's "a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man." That is someone who treats others with respect, and conducts himself with honor.
There are men who fit that exact definition, and truly so. They also treat others with respect (especially the women around them), and conduct themselves properly around others.
Some men want to be, but don't know how, so there is some hope for them.
Some know they are not, but don't know how to be gentlemen, and just don't care.
There are those who understand what it takes to be gentleman, but choose not to be.
Then there are those who act like "gentlemen", thinking that all it takes is to dress nicely, and act posh. They're usually stuck-up.00 Reply 8.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. It's that thing where there is no point of being a gentlemen until it's time to settle down as although most claim they want one they would prefer the guy with amazing looks and that leads to the guy with looks having no need to be a gent as he can get girls for free because everyone things that they can find there one and only love from the guy they are attracted to o not on how he act them when finding out that he look like heaven but act like an assholes think they can change him so will stay in a situation that's shit until they one day leave and say there are no nice guys left not saying it's on one gender think it's on both with how easy some find it to get laid these days font feel like anyo e sees a point in acting like a gentlemen
00 Reply- +1 y
The idea of what constitutes a “gentleman” changes.
Years ago, a gentleman was someone who opened doors for women, paid for all dates, stood when they entered the room, and opened jars or did anything else involving physical strength for them.
These days I’d define a gentleman as someone who respects and demands equal rights, doesn’t act like men are smarter or more capable, and doesn’t send unsolicited dick pics or doesn’t beg for nude photos after 2 minutes of talking.
There are some gentlemen around. But not enough. I strive to be one.20 Reply 688 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. May I share a story? I often ride public transportation (it allows me to read during my commute) and I have experienced the following. When I was a child (I'm nearly 50) a gentleman gave up his seat to a lady, you just did. Then came the 80s where, on a crowded buss I naturally offered my seat. And I was told off in the loudest most embarrassing way possible. "How dare you, am I not as good as you? I'm just as capable of standing as you, you Fing pig!!!" I was what? 18 if that? That's just one time out of many, I've been yelled at for opening a door, offering my seat, offering to pay, pulling out a seat, etc etc. I know that many woman appreciate these gestures, but how many times does a guy have to be chastised before it is no longer worth it? Once burned twice shy and all of that.
10 ReplyWhoever said "yes, men are still gentlemen" is obviously speaking of himself only (and good for him). With all respect to those who said men are still gentlemen...
NONSENSE.
We are the worst nowadays, and almost none of us is a real gentlemen, so lets cut the crap.
This world is slowly dying, and maybe the truth is sad, but it must be said.
Women might experience the smell of equal rights a bit, but this whole "online" world and "instant" society made women's bodies less than an object.42 Reply- +1 y
Women kill it. Seriously. They want a "bad boy" to treat them like shit then they want to complain that he's not a gentleman. And when they meet a gentlemen that is genuine they aren't attracted to them at all. Women kill it. It's just as hard to find a good women who isn't superficial or a gold digger... One that will treat you with respect in return.
61 Reply - +1 y
The story book depiction of a gentleman, no. It's like finding a needle in a haystack. Same odds of finding a lady from a batch of females.
Society changed and gentlemen are no longer wanted by the masses. Gentlemen today are like vinyl records. Vinyls were replaced by 8-trac, which was replaced by cassette, which was replaced by CDs, which was replaced by digital music. Very few people appreciate them and want them. The few that have them, understand their true value. Everyone else wants the hottest trend and not something from an old era.
There still vinyls floating around, just like there are gentlemen floating around, but you won't find one just anywhere.00 Reply To be honest why would there be? I used to be a gentleman and I got nothing because girl always went after the bad boys. Now I am sort of an Asshole but I am always with women so I guess there is your answer. However; once a relationship develops I tend to be more gentle like. but thats what women want? but generally speaking why would men be gentle if all you do to those poor bastards it mark them as creepy or needy? women brought this on themselves. personally i enjoy not being a nice buy anymore. hope this helps
30 ReplyActually I feel like the idea of a gentleman has been obscured beyond repair, think of it like this, when you hear gentleman, you picture a guy in a suit right? Of course it may not be your definition but to me a gentleman or a nice guy is more of a stereotype at this point and less of a title, most people are self proclaimed " Gentlemen " And often don't have any idea what it means to consider yourself one. Honestly there are just men , they all follow their nature, the trick is to know whose nature is what. Also please ignore any grammatical errors, I'm not exactly the best at Grammer, have a good week ahead (´∧ω∧`*)
00 Reply1.4K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Some. But it’s complicated because when dealing with a stranger the guy has no way of knowing if she will be offended by traditional gestures or not. He has to tailor his actions to the woman so I don’t think you can judged based on if random guys act like gentlemen around you. Guess it depends on what the scenario is.
10 Reply- +1 y
Even the worst modern men are more "gentle" that at any other time in human history. I hear the gentlemen/chivalry question a lot and it's kinda annoying. Chivalry involved owning a horse, and agreeing not to kill the weak for pleasure. Chivalry tells men to be benevolent sexists, because women don't know any better. Men keep getting asked for chivalry and to be gentlemen, but those ways are what actually oppressed women. If you actually want equality, then knock it off. Can't have it both ways.
41 Reply A lot of people don't know what a gentleman is. They conflate being a gentleman with being a nice guy all the time.
There are plenty of 'nice guys' out there, but very few gentlemen.
A gentleman knows how to treat both women and men, and doesn't put up with shit from either. They have a backbone, and are genuinely charismatic.
Nice guys will take shit from anyone, especially if that someone is female. They are disingenuous and weak because they're just trying to avoid conflict.20 Reply- +1 y
It's an odd paradox the gentlemanly behaviour. If a man is a gentleman then the modern woman is suspicious of him for what alterior motivation he has. If he is not a gentleman then he is a pig. But again if he is a gentleman then he is easy to play and kind of boring, if he is a bad boy then he is hot and attractive. Difficult to say are there still gentlemen but the behaviour is still around
33 Reply- +1 y
To be a gentlemen shall be a part of ettiquette though. In todays world it not so often is anymore. Therefore when such behaviour appears, girld have to be suspicious whether that is good manners or just faking something just to seduce her.
Sadly but true.
I dont blame strictly guys, I blame parents, particulary mothers who raise boys without teaching them ethical values and ettiquette.
If that was again a standard, more girls would trust those guys that they dont pretend. - +1 y
I think some doubt is quite healthy though for both sides
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Lets not call it doubt though. Lets call it caution.
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I don't think that you're going to find a perfect knight in armor, but gentlemen absolutely do exist.
There are guys out there that still remember to hold the door for you, to pull out your chair if you're at a wedding or some event, to walk on the outside when on a sidewalk, and other such mannerisms. I think it's slowly becoming less common in younger kids overall but there are still plenty of people even 16+ who act gentlemanly.30 Reply - +1 y
In general? No. Women have punished the gentlemen so men realizing that being an asshole yields positive results have decided to go that route. Not all of course but again, when you have no benefit of being a gentlemen and no incentive then in general men will not do it. In that vain, we have no more ladies so again, men have no real incentive to be a gentlemen as its only going to get them berated or used.
30 Reply - +1 y
I think there are still a lot of gentlemen out there. The problem is that the jerks make it hard for them and so do we by always going for the jerks.
Also if you want to find a gentleman don't forget to act like a lady 😉 (not saying that you don't already just putting it out there)31 Reply- +1 y
You make an important point here. On my begalf - fully agreed
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Nope not really. Some claim to be, but aren't. I think some forgot or don't know what it takes to be True Gentlemen.
A True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.31 Reply- +1 y
Well put a lot more is said from someone who is quiet in the room. However confidence is a very attractive quality
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Yes , it all depends on you. If you're a person who seeks attention and care about looks only you'll probably meet fuck boys and fake people. You just have to judge people through interacting with them and being around them for a long term and you'll be amazed at how caring they would become for you. Just invest your time with the right person
31 Reply Yes and no. Do i think women are still feminine and selfless today? Yes and no. Welcome to the reality of humans.
101 ReplyNot so much anymore. I think guys that are my generation are the last. To be a gentlemen just on the first date is not a gentlemen, you have to be that way in general. As far as first date its good to be a gentlemen but you can't be to much of one most of the times. When I was younger if you bought a girl flowers they kind of laughed at you. So, ladies if you are one of the few that were, blame other females that you didn't get any. Being courtesy and having manners seems to be the safe bet for guys.
00 Reply- +1 y
Yes there is. I try my best to be one myself and I have a few friends who are as well. I do it based off of morals, it's how I was raised by my father, not some attempt to get in a woman's pants like I've seen in other answers. I've honestly see way too many situations of a woman who says she wants one and needs one due to how she was treated by other men, yet they tend to always pick another jerk over a gentlemen. Smh. My question is are there really any genuine women these days?
21 Reply- +1 y
And the part with the jerks will last for ever. But whenever they are down they know someone to build them up again
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Expectations and attitudes around dating have been changing for awhile, towards greater equality and less formality. Are there thoughtful, courteous, caring, polite men out there? Absolutely. It's just that the way that they show it isn't necessarily to pull out your chair for you (and personally, I don't really want/need someone to pull out my chair, so I'm cool with that).
20 Reply Very few for the ones who have been taught. If they weren't taught and refuse to apply it, then it says how far we've fallen as humanity. However, there aren't many around because there aren't much 'ladies' around. Men are being mocked as sissy's for trying to be a 'gentlemen'. But the real issue is not who is and who isn't. But how many men are actually genuine as being one.
23 Reply- +1 y
Yeah but if you stop beeing gentel because you got called sissy or pussy than I would not consider him as gentelman
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I know still anyone should have the backbone to stand for his ideals
Yes. I meet a lot of youngsters as I am out walking, and I'm very impressed by the courtesy and politeness of the majority. Of course, you get a few that think it's clever to be against all things respectable, but from what I see, they are still in the minority.
20 Reply- +1 y
Thanks to stupid modern feminism i now get eyes rolled at me instead of thank yous when i open a door for a girl or offer to pay. Chivalry is killed by feminism, then they whine there's no good guys. Oh irony!
67 Reply- +1 y
I let men open doors for me :p ;).
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I am blown away though that it used to be a sweet gesture, and now I actually have been eyes rolled at more then once, when that happens i dont call them back.
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Where are you from?
Find a girl from Europe, if you are from north America.
Preferably Eastern Europe.
Preferably Russia lol.
They you'd need to open even doors of a car.
Im from Balkans.
No gentlemany attitude - no second date for me :).
Plus:
If you get a girl from Russia, and say, you are from the States, you can have all day long something to talk about - politics lol. Haha
Oh, wanna proof? I can paste you few clips links :). - +1 y
Hmmm yeah around here in central eu altleast some woman a greatful for gentlemanish behaviour
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I found it
How to know you're dating a russian girl
youtu. be/B1gOBh7NTsw
Its 1:41 until 2:14 but check if I remembered wrongly - +1 y
Oh my goodness! Thanks for that link i was cracking up! Girls use to like that stuff here, but not since Social Justice Warriors & feminists acted like somehow it was implying “women are weak” when you do kind acts for them. Or that you’re identifying their gender when your chivalrous. I dont call a girl back if she’s ungrateful.
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you're welcome :p :)
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The real question you should be asking is "what impetus is there for men to be gentleman?" Men are not going to treat women like ladies if they have no reason to, and the whole "because it's the right/proper thing to do" is BS. Do women deserve special treatment? I thought the whole point of the feminist movement was to make the sexes equal, so why should one be elevated above the other? Gentleman don't really exist anymore, because women in society and politics have decided they don't need 'em.
10 Reply We can still be a gentleman, its all about communication really - vice versa for ladies and what they seek in their men. I see it as one of those things where you dont know if your girl likes a spontaneous spank on her butt or not until you actually do it. Sometimes I play a gent, sometimes douchey, both worked well for me.
11 Reply- +1 y
Depends on the type of men out there. Not all men are the same in behaviour, characteristics or morals in life. The biggest question is what is your own definition of a gentleman in a men. Some have different preferences or taste. Its a vague question and there are many answers to that.
10 Reply I don't think anyone under 45 is, Sound like my Dad now, but, self centered, entitled little assholes 85%, no manners, most likely never opened a door for a woman in their sorry life, send your Mom flowers Why? Because she's your mother and deserves it, not cause it's mother's day or some bs reason, do it because... you're a gentleman, help a older person carry groceries to their car, because you are a gentleman... I could go on all day and most of these guys are thinking... yeah, right... whatever dude! It's sad
00 ReplyDefine gentleman. I'd bet there are a few that have the literal true characteristics of a gentleman and know the ways of being a gentleman through and through. Would I say I'm a true to form gentleman that they show in all the romance movies? Probably not, but I do strive to be as gentlemanly as I can be to those who I take on dates and the women who have been my girlfriend's in the past. Once again what's your definition of gentleman because I feel that would vary from person to person..
13 Reply- +1 y
I find it quite hilarious and appealing at the same time that a 17 years old girl like you is asking such question. I'll go ahead and answer it. Every man has a capacity to do good and bad. In the same sense, every girl has the capacity to stop being such unresponsive douchebag.
10 Reply - +1 y
Ok, I hate the whole "gentlemen" construct. It's dumb and it puts pressure on men. Women don't have to be "lady like" anymore but men have to still be gentlemen. Gender roles are harmful. Saying a woman needs to be ladylike is just as offensive as saying a man needs to be a gentleman. The whole thing is dumb.
511 Reply- +1 y
The main thing about the construct is being respectable and going beyond the normal to the other person.
Why do you think it's dumb? - +1 y
Because women don't have to be ladies anymore. It's now offensive to point out that a woman isn't being ladylike but it is ok to point out that a man isn't being a gentleman. Also, gentlemen have to do everything. They have to pay ALL OF THE TIME, they have to buy gifts constantly, they have to give the girl his jacket, they have to do EVERYTHING. Guys are humans and we don't have to treat women like queens.
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Being a gentleman or a lady traditionally showed one was 'well-bred'.
That reminds me of horses.
Neigh!
But no people should be considerate and practice common courtesy and etiquette. For instance hold the door open for people behind you or if you arrive at the same time let them go in front of you (I do this for people). Say "Pardon me?" instead of "WHAT?" Say "Thank you" and "You're welcome". Be polite to hospitality staff and tip your waitress. Give up your seat on the bus to those who need it. Just be generally polite and respectful. And if you are dating then treat that person like you would want to be treated. - +1 y
Well, I'm not treating my girlfriend like a queen if she's not going to treat me like a king.
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Thank you
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You totally misread what I said. I said that I'm not going to treat someone with respect if they don't treat me with respect back in a relationship. I don't like one sided shit.
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Also, that term works well with you more. The term beta male doesn't exist. There's no such thing. But if you believe in it so much, why not use it on yourself. You suit the definition.
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It's not a real thing. It's a stereotype so that people like you can feel better about themselves. Alphas and betas don't exist. There aren't two types of men. Also, alphas do exist, but they aren't what you think. Please get a life.
687 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Some men are traditional gentlemen, but they lose out to the bad boys, who treat women discourteously.
Feminism is also working hard to discourage good manners.
Being a gentleman is rejected by women, especially Feminists, so, in time, it will disappear.20 Reply1.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. If your not finding them then the obvious answer is your looking in all the wrong places. Gentleman aren't the extreme radical idiots who are girl hopping. They are the quiet guy who has a lot of friends but masks that by keeping to himself mostly.
20 Reply- +1 y
I think they are out there but there are few left or they are already married, or live somewhere where this is a normal behavior. In California there are men that think they are gentlemen but they are really boys or have no clue what they are doing. There are some that are taught to act like one but Its really difficult to find someone who really knows how to act right.
01 Reply- +1 y
Sounds logic
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A gentleman is a man who helps people, who cares about their well being and is always there for the person in need. A gentleman may not be the most attractive guy to you, but he will always care about you and what you think of him.
Sometimes a guy may only act like a friend because it hurts too much for him to do otherwise. If you shot him down before or he gets the feeling like your not interested, he'll pretend like everything is fine and try and carry on with his life. But this can be agonising for him. A true gentleman will always put others before himself, will appreciate the little things you do for him and will never betray your friendship.00 Reply Society is killing manhood. It's proven men have only 75 percent of the testosterone we used to have. Some guys are still gentlemen, but they're only perceived that way if he's, at the same time holding that manly feeling and attitude with himself. Otherwise it's perceived as weak and girls have no option than going for jerks which seem to be the only ones that are still men. If you get both things, you become the ONLY ONE
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