Do we, or do you, place value on being a gentleman anymore? Is the whole notion just sexism at play? Is there still value in society in relation to guys pulling out chairs, opening doors, protecting women from actual danger?
I would say there is still value in it. Because the point of being a gentleman is not neglecting that a woman could do any of this on her own but doing it for her in a gentle way to show her that you care and therefore remove any obstacles from her path. Like the guy in the picture he doesn´t pull the chair away from the table so that she has it easier to sit because he thinks she couldn´t do it. He rather does it because he wants to show his interest with a nice gesture.
To answer your question I would say being a gentleman is not at all important in modern society it sometimes actually seems like the opposite that´s why guys don´t do it and they go along with a careless attitude. There could be value in the broader view as guys taking an interest in women´s life doing something that helps her or protect her in situations where she´s not comfortable but instead society is a battlefield where men and women fight against each other.
Being a lady and being a gentleman are very important in today’s society. When you have manners, kindness, warmth in your heart when greeting people for the first time, reaching out with compassion and empathy, being honest & transparent for the positive energy you bring into this world not only to others but yourself too, stand mature and take responsibility for your actions while learning from your short comings to look towards the future of a better you built on those minor mistakes. That is what is what being a lady and being a gentleman is, plain simple decency & having ethics and morals that uplift not push down.
Being a lady and being a gentleman are both equally important, or unimportant, depending on your worldview. But a man who isn't a gentleman has no right to expect a woman to be a lady, and a woman who isn't a lady has no right to expect a man to be a gentleman.
Personally, I want my man to be a gentleman, and I try to hold myself to the same standard so as not to be an entitled hypocrite.
Absolutely.
While the definition of chivalry has evolved, the core values of respect, kindness, and consideration remain essential.
Opinion
64Opinion
no, but I am anyways at times.
I personally hate the idea of having to be a gentleman.. I'll reluctantly do it, but I do not feel appreciated. I'm not really worries about pulling out chairs/doors etc. But I did just take an assignment at work for my girl coworker because it involved lots of physical labor. It was extremely difficult and I ended up injuring myself. But you know how workplace politics are; I didn't bring that up and just continued as normal. She showed her abundance of gratitude by singling me out to ask me to cover for her this week. I would love to just say no, but I'm outnumbered. The general population doesn't like when I say no to women. My boss is a real old school guy, too. If he found out that I refused to cover for her, he'd probably make me do it anyway. Then I'd also have the reputation of a disgruntled, single man (which I am) in the office. There's also the financial aspect of it. I'm going deep into my pockets whenever I hang out with girls. I'm paying for my mom's house. I take care of the upfront traveling expenses when I have to go with my coworker. I don't know, it just sucks but I have to do it or else I'm called "incel." Nobody has ever asked if I need anything or if I need a day off.
Absolutely. Yes, it's nice when a guy examples gentlemanly behavior specific to me, such as holding the door for me. Yet, much more importantly, a gentleman is just that, a gentle man; not a weak man, a gentle man. A weak man can't be gentle, as it takes all his strength just accomplish basic stuff. A strong man, who knows how to temper his strength so as to be gentle with those around him (a baby, his wife, an old man who has difficulty walking across the street) is the ultimate in what man should be. A man who needs to flex his muscles in all settings is not a gentleman. A gentleman on public display encourages others to be gentlemen, and it sort of snowballs into a benefit for society at large. It's like the opposite of the type of man who joins a gang and then encourages others to join a gang.
It is not, but it should be. Granted, women can adjust the chairs, open doors, and, in most situations, stand up for themselves. However, it would be nice and would feel good if men did it for us.
However, too often men are criticized if they do with women loudly saying, "I can open my door." Moreover, if a man steps up to assist a women being assaulted, instead of "Thank you," he is criticized, and possible arrested or killed. That may explain why men did nothing while a women was being raped on a train. Police say riders didn't help woman raped on train. Does the 'bystander effect' explain why? (nbcnews. com)
If you aren't a lady (and I'm not talking about being female, I'm talking about having traditional morals and values and expressing those morals and values in your day-to-day living), then you should not expect gentlemenly behavior from men.
Chivalry was a social contract that put requirements and limitations on both sides, which is the only way it could work. But Feminists decided that they didn't want to be bound by those requirements and limitations, and further, that NO WOMEN SHOULD, and they attacked both men and women with traditional morals and values and shamed traditional behavior loudly and publicly. Now, women are complaining about not being treated with chivalry, but they are not ladies and many active oppose the requirements and limitations of chivalry that they would have to adopt to become ladies, but still want chivalry from men. But that's not the way it works - you don't get the benefits without also accepting the responsibilities.
Being a gent / gentleman isn’t for appearances or to impress a date. A man is such by his traits. His honesty , his respectfulness , his kindness , his integrity and subtle confidence. . these traits will always have value. Typically they are more appealing to those more mature as they play second fiddle to the likes of the immediate passion and excitement on offer from the likes of the “bad boy” . With the gent you have to dig a little deeper , be a little more patient perhaps.
Society will always need a gent
Being a gentleman isn’t only about being courteous to women. Men who are nice to women with the expectation they deserve something in return, aren’t gentlemen.
being a gentleman is about being a man of character- someone who is able to regulate their emotions; choose when to engage and more importantly when not to engage. A man who knows his limits and sticks to them. Someone who builds others up; who puts the needs of the common good over his own.
For a true gentleman- Women want to be with him and men want to be him.
I'm told I succeed in being a gentleman. I do think the minor courtesies between the two genders have importance in being an oil.
In the pic the guy is seating the girl and she is thanking him. It is a nice start to a date even if it appears to be at a cafeteria. That's the whole point. The guy is being courteous to the girl and the girl is being courteous in return. There is no indication of her lambasting him and telling him she don't need no man.
Feminism started with women screaming at men for opening doors. Now it is screaming at men for not showing respect. 60 years on and women are still confused.
" Good manners means that you do and say, the nicest things ion the kindest way." Learned that as a kid from a book, still remember it to this day. Being a gentleman or gentlewoman is still relevant and important- perhaps even more so today- since it is becoming increasingly rare.
True, the man doesn't HAVE to walk on the outside so that the s - - t stool doesn't hit her in the head when walking down the street when the buildings are sans awnings. It just follows that we should all try to be a little bit more considerate. If everyone did just one nice things a day more than they do today (if ANY), life would be a whole lot better.
As a young man idc what society says, I will continue to be a gentleman when it comes to dating. I want to do the proper gentleman things because I want my woman to feel loved and appreciated but also respected in a traditional way.
I will do the traditional Catholic way if things things and unlike most modern relationships I want to wait for sex which is something I under valued in HS and college.
If/when I have children, all the behaviors and traits of a gentleman would be taught to a son or she'll be taught to expect proper gentleman behaviors for a daughter. I believe in the 2 parents being the example which the child will build their relationships upon.
I think its depends on what your opinion of "gentlemen" is. I've said before on here that I think it's important that every guy have a code he lives by. A code that defines him and no man or woman can push him off of. In my opinion that's what PART of being a man is. Being a gentlemen is a part of that. It's what gives a man meaning and focus. So yes, I think being gentlemen is very important, especially today, when people are so frivolous and so much is up for grabs. A man should always be a rock in a storm.
I grew up in a kind and courteous family. We all behave in refined ways and we maintain courtesy within the family as well as to others. I expect others to treat me well, even as I will always try to treat them well. Do I slip sometimes? Ofc, but I also know how to express a sincere apology.
I definitely believe it is just for the fact I watch how men act today and I could never ever see myself being one of those guys ever I mean yeah never mind it's out of control as far as I'm concerned they're just rude and I like being real I like being me so yes I'm a gentleman still and I can still have my other titles at the same time as being a gentleman put that comes first
Well... is there much scope for women being ladies either?
If women want to whore around, drink like prohibition is coming back tomorrow, and giving no courtesy to anyone. Then guys are right to reciprocate!
Being a gentleman means recognizing that a woman's body is her private property. Her's to share with whomever she wishes. Not public property to be touched whenever someone feels like touching. Courtesy and respect are the concepts to be learned and they will never fade. It is flattering to have someone treat you as if you were royalty even though you are not. Assume that people are until they prove otherwise.
It is important to me, most men today act like a ferocious animal. Their behaviors, and their acts gross the heck out of me. How can they go down so low…!
Anyway! I grew up with men, my mother’s only daughter, I was always thought how to be treated like a lady. They don’t negotiate that when I’m with them. I sorta try to recognize the good one, they can always pretend. I let time tell me, the instant gallantry is not profound enough!
I feel that men are forced in to a moral cunundrum. A man has to guess which way a woman thinks. If he is a gentlemen he may be percieved as to nice brought on by social media of course. If he is not he then is considered rude and un empathetic. The problem is if he fails to solve the puzzle he is cast away immediate loss of game.
Not the whole thing in the picture of giving chair even for a date lol - women don't need me to move their chair neither to pay their meal - however : it's still nice to hold a door open for anyone, to be politely to anyone, as much as reasonable lol 😂 nobody perfect y'all
Much as some are ignorant and unrealistic to think it 100 percent is possible lol - it ain't. 😜
Not everyone qualifies as lady.
Not every man is capable to understand the ''gentleman code''.
In these days where a majority of people consists of rabble, a gentleman automatically has less ''work to do''.
It indeed is important. Just not everywhere, and at any time.
From a man's perspective, it seems like being a gentleman is the worst strategy. 100% chance it will land you in the friendzone.
Better strategy seems to be covertly manipulative and douchey and try to slide in as a F-boy/friends with benefits, then oopsies! get her pregnant. Guys who do this usually have no problem finding women.
That's what I've observed anyway. What do you think guys?
All this nice guys finish last, chicks dig assholes, women marry the highly succesful nerds with loads of money is not true!
Those who complain they never get laid are shallow. If you can be turned on by kindness, not by physical appearance, you will never be alone. Goes for both genders.
I want to be as much of a gentleman as people are comfortable and happy with. The less I know them the more subtle I will be to try to avoid conflict.
Also I hold doors for anyone when it’s no inconvenience to me. I find that to be a common courtesy.
I'm not sure what the overall answer is , but its certainly extremely important for me , it was how I was bought up , and that will never change. If its NOT held in high importance , it certainly should be.
I was taught manners and to be a gentle person from a small child. Still, use them, my children and grandchildren were taught manners and they use them all the time. Being a gentleman person/woman will never go out of style. Some people think a gentleman is a wuss but they fail to realize that you're a gentleperson until it is time not to be!
To me it is. I open doors, put on wraps, walk on the outside in the street, hold umbrellas, pull out chairs, etc. for a lady.(Of course, if she's my broad, that hand on her shoulder is going to her bottom when we're alone, and with her permission, we're going to boyfriend-girlfriend grapple to get us ready for me to bestow the boy's club on her !!!)
Thankfully both my husband and I were brought up and taught to have excellent good manners towards others.
Regardless of sex, common courtesy costs absolutely nothing.
Of course it is. People who think otherwise either were not fortunate enough to have a decent upbringing, or chose to turn their back on the wisdom of their parents.
I don't think so. If a man is a gentleman these days, he is considered a simp by men and an easy to manipulate tool by women.
Indeed it is. Same goes with gentlewomen.
Politeness, good manners and civility is essential to humanity.
Yes it's very important! Men now in this society are identifying as ladies and ladies as men I even heard a guy in Cali identified as a cat. Society. The millennials are lazy I don't know how to treat women so yes it's very important that the gentleman stay gentleman re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft
Ofcourse it is!!! As long as the woman is behaving like a real woman should! Being a lady I mean with that.
Sluts and feminists don't deserve a gentlemen my apologies if my opinion hurts your feelings but it is what it is
Yes, it's still is even though we live in world now where good is considered to be bad nowadays that doesn't mean it doesn't work is just that we men have to be more selective and be more wise when we do it.
I don't think so but I still do it because I know that it's going to attract a good woman because women that set boundaries and value their dignity for the most part won't be attracted to anything else but I don't know
u Yes, men should act like gentlemen and women should act like ladies. It would be better for everyone.
I've had sex with many women, being a different person now, but being a gentleman accounts for a huge factor in the high numbers. Women love it.
I prefer gentleman, and don’t really care anout what’s going on in society.
It is nice act , action, behavior, it is nice to be a gentleman, but in some cases can be taken as a wimp, yet some females crazy about men being gentleman, I think most girls would prefer a man with good manners 😇
I love a gentleman. I don’t care what’s important to society.
When a guy does it right without appearing over submissive, he can gain ton of plus points while treating a lady like a gentlemen.
No. People make fun guys who hold doors or treat them like shit. A lot of women are not going appreciate a guy being extra kind and will just walk all over him. When you respect yourself and don't take shit from anyone people respect you more.
Not sure about it being important but if you have arms then you can pull your own chair and don't the basic ish on your own.
A grown woman isn't a child.
Yes there are still gentlemen out there. It only happens when a person is kind or is on a date. Pulling out of chair for a beautiful woman good gesture. Nowadays people are rude and won't hold the door open for anyone but their own. I always believed a lady should walk through the door first before a guy
Men should be gentleman and women should be ladies.
Sadly though that is far from how it is most of the time.
Depends on where you live. If you're in a leftist feminist area, the women aren't worthy of it. If you're in a conservative/red area, it's definitely important because the women are worthy of it.
How is any woman regardless of political offiliation worthy of it?
My wife is. But she's also very traditional, and a small town conservative girl.
How long you think she’s gonna remain that way? Many women break their values as if they mean nothing to them and claim to still be for those same values. Untrustworthy
We've been married 20 years as of march this year. I think that's evidence enough.
“Happy wife happy life” oh wait that’s not a conservative value that’s sexism 😂
Happy wife happy life is almost always misinterpreted
It means to marry someone who is already happy because it won't be such a pain in the ass to make them happy.
No, people use it to mean that if the woman isn’t happy above all else you’ll be miserable. That’s the exact context and making up one to make the phrase seem better when it’s not is bullshit
"Being gentelmen"... is a sexism towards men. They are treated as butlers and servants, while women pretend to be some kind of queens. Horrible!!!
To my girl of 15 years yes. As far as other women in public aside from my mom, sisters, no. Other women can do for theirselves. Tired of being told women don’t need men.
I think it is, but that is how I was raised.
Today who knows.
The rules seem to change so fast it is hard to keep up with all of the changes.
Look at today's brainrot and tell me we don't need to be positive rolemodels to show by example.
The last time I tried to be a gentleman or chivalrous I got shunned and told that “it’s annoying and old fashioned I have my own hands so keep up”. I feel I like I should just stop.
Yes, it's still important, though not all men and women think that way.
No, unfortunately. Niceties have largely been done away with.
No but I do it anyway. That's how I was raised.
I live for those things. It's the delight of my life to treat a woman that way.
I agree, but the problem is finding a woman worthy of it.
Agreed
I think it's still important for showcasing "good boyfriend qualities." But in terms of does it matter for initial attraction and getting laid? Not so much anymore.
That would be awesome if I could see a Gentleman
It is still important if a man is a gentleman, but if he dies because of appearance its not.
Of course. But being polite and being yourself is just as important
I think that being a gentleman is still an important thing for a man to show a woman because it shows that man has a since of morals and dignity and separation from being like everyone else
You girls theses past few years. Theses were the popular sayings:
I don't know. Is it important for a woman to be a Lady? I am sleeping with a girl who is also sleeping with another guy besides me. Does she deserve a gentleman?
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions