Women in the west do not generally abide by gender roles, yet expect men to. Women in the west today don’t act like delicate flowers for a lot of them are proud sluts who act entitled and bitchy. Women do not get to physically slap or strike men and expect no repercussions. If a woman acts like a woman, the I’ll treat her with chivalry and respect. If she wants to act like a man, then I’ll treat her as such. So many women I’ve dated expect so much, yet don’t put out what they should in return.
I’m a former Marine, and ghetto street cop. I’m around alpha type A personalities all day and have grown up in the environment. I take pride in being a man, but a man in my opinion doesn’t change himself in order to appease a woman’s needs. A man constantly strives to be the best version of himself, and is unapologetically himself.
If a mans personality doesn’t align with your typical definition of what’s considered masculine, then the weakest thing he could do is change himself. When I went to college I studied engineering, and befriended a lot of guys who would be considered nerds. They didn’t really workout, and they dedicated most all of their time to studying. They created some amazing shit in the field today as I still stay in contact with them. That doesn’t make them weak. They are simply different and perform in different ways. I don’t see them as inferior.
If you’re an emotional guy, then find a way to channel that emotion in a healthy way and be proud of who you are man. Mike Tyson the famous boxer is one of the most emotional guys you could meet. Yet, he’s one of the most badass fighters and one of the baddest dude on the planet. If you’re outspoken and extroverted, then embrace it. If you’re introverted and reserved, embrace it. Don’t ever change yourself and your values for a woman. Be unapologetically you man and never let a woman change that.
I loved this! Very realistic and reasonable view. I agree in embracing who we are- this is our authenticity and our uniqueness is what defines our own sense of what is masculine or feminine (not everyone elses). I just hope my fellow women understand that this isn't an attack on them.
I feel that it is important to note, for my fellow women, that it's not the woman that makes the man weak by forcing him to change (no one controls anyone), but it is the internal break down of ones self (towards weakening self worth) by own choice to change because of believing own will and abilities are not good enough and not worthy of love. Both genders face this <3 So try not to take this personally.
It is both men and women that need to learn self-love and acceptance so that they feel worthy and happy in themselves, not feeling the need to change their true authentic selves. We hurt others when we are hurting ourselves. It's a mess and toxicity is practiced by both genders, so it's best not to take anything personally. When we do take things personally, it exposes our true inner fears and where we need healing.
I'm glad you are promoting this for men! I love seeing men supporting men. We all need to focus on ourselves first and foremost. I feel that a mans ability to love is truly one of the biggest healing valuable abilities in this world- the most pure source of power. I hope our men are discerning in who they engage with and that they remain strong in character to continue healing their own heart to invite more good into their life- instead of limiting themselves to pain. <3 <3 <3 thank you, I hope people continue to stand up for each other against our own toxic behaviors that we sometimes fall pray to <3 <3
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Men (or women) for that matter, are acting like they want to act. Society used to hammer into reality these specific roles that men/women had to be and there were major social consequences for not fitting the stereotypes or expectations, and to this day, for a lot of people, those ideals and having to follow them still very much exist, however, it is clear to me for those of strong conviction, they will be who it is they want to be and no one can change their minds about it.
I wrote a paper once defining in my own opinion, what I thought a real man was, and guys lost their minds even though the basics were a man respectful and friendly who takes care of himself and/or others. Guys were appalled that 'a woman' should dare try to define them in anyway shape or form. So that's just it isn't it. Be whomever you want and the world and those around you will just deal.
Well with all due respect, women don’t really know what the struggles of being a man are simply because they haven’t experienced what it’s like. Just as I have no idea what it actually like to be a woman. I don’t buy into this “real men do x, y, and z” stuff. Respect is earned and that’s how I was raised. You give a mutual basic level of respect, but I don’t believe in handouts.
But that mostly applies when women act entitled and bitchy. If a girl is sweet and delicate, then sill treat her as such. Most women I see today aren’t though.
I get that..I do...but it was an in my opinion piece about how I felt the men in my life were men.
I'm not foolish enough to try and believe that I can understand the life and times of a man , but neither men nor women are an island. We all have thoughts about the opposite sex and how we think and feel about them...hello... GAG! Hello you or the asker writing these opinions.
But my ultimate thing is we can talk until our faces turn blue on what a wo /man is or isn't but you're going to define that for yourself no matter what some random says about it on the internet.
Men will always be men underneath , Marxist subversion can never really kill that, only cover it up. Even antifa commies found to their dismay that women would tend to sew flags and tend to gear while men worked on weapons and strategy. The severed limb still twitched underneath. As to women, men and women need each other, the only reason for the bad feeling between them is the work of leftist cultural Marxists and their abnormal ideology. They have sewn all the bad blood between men and women with their so called feminism. Don't resent women, they've had their minds messed with since they were small children, not all of them are disgusting "feminists" throwing bombs and spewing communist rhetoric. The ones that are, we'll probably have to deal with at some point. I don't think of them as women. Once they turn into one of those perverted blue haired baby killing things they're fair game.
Women are a bunch of hypocrites. Complain about double standards but consistently create their own. They want everything and nothing and run their mouths about things they know nothing about. This is generally speaking though. Not every woman. But a lot of women don't realize this, how sexist they are. They don't see it unless its directed at them.
Very well written. I appreciate how you lift other man up. Also woman Fall for all different kinds of guy. We're all individuals There is someone who likes skinny and tall guys with red hair others like a man with muscle mass more appealing. It doesn't matter, don't worry to much, on how you look. People will reach out for their types or one who have a good personality. Looks are important (clean clothes, Hygiene) but they shouldn't outweight who you are. Not all woman want Adonis. Be yourself it doesn't matter what women are looking for you do not have to please all expacations made by media.
Some of us still do. Those of us who di neither hold our manhood as cheap nor our integrity. Especially we do not trade either merely to gain acceptance and or affection from the opposite sex as some 'men'' do. Women used to admonish these sort of men. No more do they and even cheer the ones going as far as becoming themselves, 'women'.
A a man, it is damn strange to see 'men' walking about in painted on jeans with the pant bottoms rolled up and moving about with a duck waddle. Then hear them speak with a voice softer than that of most women... then top it off with this meticulously manicured beard, eyebrows, and ridiculous black horn framed glasses. The look reminds me of Where's Waldo and the Brawny Man having a love child who came out as a flamboyant 1914 era "lumberjack".
In real life, men are still men. But reading of "men's" comments here in gag, I'd have to say too many men are just searching for how to behave in order to attract women. It's sad. Just be confident in who you are, whatever your size, shape, intellect or physique and you'll be respected for it. Alter or falter and you won't
I don’t hide my emotions unless it’s necessary for work and things like that. I don’t rape people. I don’t feel the need to criticize other men for wearing dresses, doing what they want to do. I’m not an asshole. I don’t utilize my strength in sports, I just work out a little to stay in shape. I don’t agree with or believe in the whole alpha male thing. I have a dick. I wouldn’t say I’m proud of it. It is what it is. A lot of people on this planet are born with dicks 😂 So far none of the women I HAVE interacted with have treated me as less than or vocalized some sort of lack of respect for me being me. I like who I am and it doesn’t really have much to do with me being a man. I just am. I exist. I like my life. I have flaws. I try to improve in everything I do.
Life doesn’t have to be so complicated if you just relax and enjoy who you are. It doesn’t matter what gender you are.
Men have lost a lot of their social structures, extended families no longer live together, fraternal organizations are a thing of the past, even bars are no longer a place to talk openly. Because the world has changed so much, men can't be the way they were and be happy and healthy.
Yes according to my mom. In the past there were mousy guys whom she calls " Caspar Milquetoast." Now we call them "Soy Boys." Arnold called them "girly men." My uncle calls them "sissies." The biggest difference is that in the past the wimpy guys were ridiculed rather than celebrated by the media.
The gender role for men is becoming long gone every year.
Idols are becoming more feminine. Tough guys are gone. Men are dressing pretty and have pretty hair. 10yrs ago every teen and their kid brother was working on cars and what not now you'd be pressed to find a teen that knows an EFI from a oxygen censor. Masculine common hobbies are gone. Women don't like them either.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I fall right in there with you I'm an Alpha and apparently ooze "toxic masculinity". I was raised proper to respect women who are deserving of respect which in my opinion is all women until the give me any reason to believe otherwise. I'll always hold the door open, help a woman who's having issues reaching something or trying to lift something too heavy it's not me trying to assert myself over them just being kind and courteous as I'd hope someone would do for my family. I have hunted and fished since I was 7 years old, play sports, drink beer, chew Copenhagen, own guns, drive a truck, work hard labor and will never shy from a fight or not voice my opinion for fear of being disliked. Outside looking in most of the time I probably look like a redneck but at the end of the day would do anything to help anybody in need be that man or woman. At the end of the day just own who you are and never apologize for it.
Men have gotten soft and have fallen prey to feminism. I shouldn't have to respect someone just because they're of the opposite sex?
Male masculinity offends females. Beta males use this as a tool for submission to females. They dont want to embrace their masculinity, instead they change who they are to appeal to women. Respect is earned, not given.
Its simple. Women have more value in society because it only takes one man to impregnate 10 women. And then you'll have like 10 more people. But if there is only 1 women and 10 men you can only get 1 new person. Its simple logistics. That's why we men are expendable and have to fight for our seed to survive.
The guy I was with before couldn’t change a tire my dad had taught me so instead of waiting around for an hour from triple a... I had started doing it myself while my ex was clueless. I don't know certain things I just expect guys to know how to do
Yeah yeah i know the story. Smh. Its tough im wealthy and i dont want to sit home all day waiting for my girl nor do i want to hang with bros all day. And i also love kids. can't find women who want that sort of life. Personally i think having a job is dumb and boring so i just got rich. Come to find out women love work more than men do.
Understandable. I just really enjoy helping people that’s what makes my day I’d feel isolated alone. I have a couple friends that would love to be housewives though! I don’t like kids though do I think they’re adorable yes... I just can’t imagine having any.
Yeah well i love kids so much i want to be a stay at home dad too. Like mom and dad. I think it would be so cool. I just can't be the primary. Occasionally i have to do a little work plus i wouldn't feel like a man if i watched the kids while my girl worked. Lol.
Makes a lot of sense I find myself acting like the "gender role " you described and its a great post makes a ton of sense but I don't think a guy needs to be like that and you made a really good point Great post made me think a lot
Generally agree with what all you're saying, though it does seem skewed toward a negative outlook on women based on experience, I'm sure. We're not all like that, just like not all men are inconsiderate assholes without a clue :)
I've had bad experiences, but I've also dated a lot of women. I definitely do see a pattern. I don't think it's just my bitter mindset that is making me think this way. Logically, it's what I consistently see time and time again and I've dated different shapes and sizes. I know all women are not like this, but our generation really does suck in regards to dating and monogamy.
I agree. I don't really have much to add. To me, being a man first and foremost is being a decent person and then be proud of whatever you are and such, whether that's stereotypically masculine in terms of gender roles or not
Look at it this way: Seventy five years ago, men marched into war to fight one of the greatest evils this world has ever known. Today, they stand in the streets holding up a sign in protest.
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