How do you hit on a shy guy?

Question

Well, more like, how do you ignite attraction with a guy friend, who's shy? Without scaring him away.

FattyNatty · Accepted Answer

Hey Guys! So I've got a problem. There is this shy guy that I like, and he has a very low self esteem. He thought I like his supervisor and just played with him. To make things clear I asked him out (to cinema - had some free tickets). Well, he said he doesn't date girls from work (I know he consulted this answer with his supervisor, so I'm not sure how honest was that).
It turned out to be an awkward situation after all.
Now I'm still friends with his supervisor ( can't get rid of him - if i'm not nice he makes more efforts to spend time with me... so for now I am just nice).
The shy guy is missing all of the company events - so I cannot get along with him.
Since he declined to go out with me, it would be too agressive to ask him out again, I guess. And the worst is... I get super shy around him and stressed so usually I cannot figure out what shall I ask him to start a conversation. Also because of the stress I almost never smile to him. I am such an outgoing and loud person... and popular. And when I meet him I just become super small and shy :(
It sucks... and I have no idea how to fix this situation.

Please, help me?

Alexadria · Accepted Answer

well out of experience I'll tell you to come talking to him in a friendly way don't spook him off... tell him maybe we should hang out or sth and when you guys talking flirt a bit not too much just a bit

test him every once in a while Facebook'em or sth

u know friendly stuff once he feel more comfortable start talkin a bit MORE than friendly

if you got any questions feel free to ask me ;p

hope I helped

tc

juicebox423 · Accepted Answer

well I dated a shy guy before and it was hard to get his attention so what I did was boost up the conversation talked about things he liked and talked about him and I found out some facts about him it was nice and later he got his confidence to ask me to go out with him again so I said yea sure and we exchanged numbers and we kept in contact and it worked out

ivan5252 · Accepted Answer

yea I used to be horribly terribly just ugly shy.. heartbreak changed it all but that's another story haha..

i agree with what a lot of people here are saying.. just start with small talk, then just ask him "where are you from?" simple questions about him to keep things going.. and just be suggestive but subtle about attraction, like if he tells you what kind of food he likes say "ooh I know this place! we should totally go there!" and take it easy.. most shy guys I think loosen up quickly after some talking.. if he seems naive or something (as I was/still am sometimes) just bump up the subtleness a bit to something like "so do you have a gf?", "just wondering.. :).. you're a pretty cool guy" or something..

keep us updated please :)

Forte · Accepted Answer

Honestly talking to a shy guy isn't that different from talking to a more extroverted guy. The difference is that it might take a little bit more time for him to open up, not because he's uninterested, but because he's still overcoming his own inhibitions.

The trick is to be a little more outgoing than him: be the one to initiate a conversation, be willing to keep the conversation going once he starts opening up, and most importantly, smile. You'll find that underneath that shy exterior is a person who has a lot to say.

Elcristoph · Answer

take things slow, ask him out where its just the 2 of you. if he's really shy you will need to take charge of the situation by looking calm and relaxed, he will pick up on this and feel better about him being there. then just be slow but playfull, do things like toutch his arm. the date should only be for about 1 hour. after that don't comunicate with him for about 5 days, then call him and ask him out again. over time he will grow to miss you and as long as you stay calm and confident around him he will feel at ease around you..

once he started to persue you allow him to take the lead so he feels in control which again will help his confidence.

good luck.

CubanRaftRider · Answer

I am a shy guy so I can tell you what would work for me.  If I am interested in a girl and she starts talking to me I usually become un-shy pretty quick (especially if I like her).  Just talk about whatever, ask him about his interests, and tell him about yours.  That's what has always worked for me on the rare occasion a girl talks to me.

StillSearching · Answer

Playfully. You flirt with him a little not aggressively but to make your point. Like throw some bait. A common thing I hear is the fake fighting. Like you two are talking and he says something like "well it is you lol"  say something like "Shut up! lol :-)"  the expressions of humor and the smiley faces in texts and emails catches a guys attention. It lets him know you're interested. Another thing you can do is ask him out, I mean it is 2010 you can ask him out on a date too lol. A simple you wanna go get something to eat with me on friday? is perfect. So basically, express the interests in words AND actions. Most guys aren't that insightful in the mind of a woman, Some times he needs visual aids like smiles and  "accidental hand touches" lol to get the clue. And its really hard to scary a guys away if your subtle so be yourself and DO NOT BE aggressive. I hope that helped

CKhan · Answer

Approach him by smiling and use a gentle tone of voice. Try to break the ice by finding out what his interests are. Don't let it get to you if he doesn't make a lot of eye contact during the convo, shy people can be that way, just keep smiling and he will open up to you!

Ephram · Answer

Ask him lots of questions. Show him that you're interested in getting to know him. If he likes you, he'll be very happy to answer your questions. Just don't ask him any questions which might make him awkward, such as... "Do you think I'm pretty? Do you like me? What's your penis size?" And so on...

Birchy915 · Answer

I used to be quite shy and my problem was that when talking to girls, the adrenaline would kick in whenever the conversation went anywhere interesting, so my advice is be quick, a confession would work well I think.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

just start conversation with him and give him a lot of hints. smile and flirt. that's how I would approach if I like him or at least talk to him.

dojomaster57 · Answer

creating attraction is so easy for girls.  all you have to do is look cute and smell nice, and show you're interested by direct flirtation.

boribori90 · Answer

it could be that he's just afraid of pulling the trigger. maybe if you straight up hit on him, he'll get it and his confidence will bloom.

jackiewackie10 · Answer

heres the way to do it go up to him, hang out with him, flirt with him make eye contact

somedude555 · Answer

just strike up a conversation... preferably something he seems to be interested in.

XWarthongX · Answer

I'm pretty shy, but if a girl is talking to me about something I'm interested in we can get into a very long conversation. Lots of long deep conversations are quite attractive to me at least.

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