How do I deal with this touchy-feely colleague?

[Anonymous]

I don't like him. At all. I have a boyfriend whom I love dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with. Anyway there's this guy at work who puts his hands on my shoulders and jabs me in the ribs sometimes and I know with 100% certainty that he doesn't mean anything by it because girlfriend also works there, however today, in front of her, he jabbed me in the ribs and she looked outraged. I mean I know how I'd react if I was her in that situation, seeing her partner all touchy with a much younger female at work, but now I look terrible too! I should've pulled him up about it earlier but he's like that with all of the girls and the shit thing is is that we rely on him because he's really good at the work we do and noone else has said anything about it! I don't wanna make things awkward, but I also need to do my job...
I really want to tell my boyfriend too but I think he will get really angry and ask why I haven't already raised it with anyone but he doesn't understand that it'd make work hell if I did that! TBH I think he's a nice guy but he just hasn't been told before that it isn't okay.

[ak666]

Maybe if he's doing this in a naively friendly kind of way, you might just kind of approach him and gently try to tell him you feel uncomfortable about it and think he's nice but would prefer he doesn't get physical like this. Tackle it very delicately and maybe with a very lighthearted kind of way (kind of humorous) and it shouldn't create much drama at all. Try not to stir up a scene just yet. He might be just as embarrassed by this as you are when you tell him, so remember to be very delicate.

Telling your boyfriend might make him get a bit too noble and create a scene.

Naturally do proceed further if he doesn't desist after this gentle and lighthearted approach, but I think it's worth trying this kind of approach first as your best chance of having him stop but without creating all kinds of awkwardness and tension in the workplace.

[madhatters4]

maybe you could ask him. you are sort of touchy feely with a lot of the women in the office. is your girlfriend ok with that? i feel like i might be a little pissed about it if i were her