Why am I such an inferior person? I hate myself?

[Bigman117]

Im 19 and I've been going to a counselor but I still deal a lot of depression and anxiety for a long time. Here's why I think I'm inferior.
1. I have social anxiety
2. I'm shy
3. I have ZERO confidence in myself
4. I have no talent
5. I'm not a funny guy like most guys
6. I can;t express myself
7. I have depression
8. I don't have a girlfriend
9. I compare myself to other people
10. I feel/look ugly

So what else should I do to not feel inferior? Because I scared that I'll have anxiety for the rest of my life

[btbc92]

How about stop making yourself like you are inferior, because your not. You have a very bad habit of cursing yourself and you don't even know it. Social anxiety is due to you being different and awkward. But its okay, because you know what? So am I. I'm called too weird or awkward. That's who we are. You sound like your an introvert like me who have a hard time developing some sort of connection to people. So what if your shy. Being Shy is a trait, but its not a bad thing. But having 0 confidence in yourself is very bad. I don't know what happened in your life other than the fact that you get bullied is the problem, but if you keep putting yourself down without even trying and doing - then your not going to get anywhere. And thats a fact.

Having no talent? Come on, thats a lie. You never had a chance to discover anything about yourself. Your too much in your own shell that your basically afraid of living life. That's not good man. And who said that you have to be funny? Not everybody is funny or can tell jokes. Don't let that bother you. And don't say how you can't express yourself. If you can write and type on here, guess what? Your expressing your pain and your need to feel understood. I can feel your feelings. Not everybody can. Plus this depression is due to you allowing yourself to be depressed because your sensitive and emotional. Then you admit that you compare yourself to people. That is not a good thing. You have to stop it and learn to live, not be in bondage. Nobody can help you but God. And that is if you want help.

I'm very certain that your not ugly. In fact beauty and physical appearances is subjective. There will always be somebody more attractive than you, and your probably more attractive than somebody else. That is part of life. And don't worry about not having a girlfriend. For the record, I never dated or had a boyfriend either. And I'm almost 25. You don't see and hear me complain. That is not even my focus. Life does not revolve around sex, couples and anything of that nature. There is more to life than that. What you need is to find your purpose and discover new things. Find out what you really want to do, and just do it. Get prepared, have the things you need to complete it and go forth. Stop holding yourself back. Because nobody can do that but you.

[Bigman117]

I see what you're saying but it's like whenever I even "TRY" to speak to people they look at me like I have a diease or something. Plus when someone is funny, it makes the other "attracted" to them unlike someone who is pretty much serious and is not funny.

[btbc92]

@Bigman117

You have to just learn to be you, yourself. And if they are not the kind of people you can be around with, then move on. Find new people to hand around with. You don't have to cater to people. They either want to get to know you or they don't. Don't worry. Somebody is bound to notice you and actually WANT to get to know you. Plus like I said before, you don't have to be funny. You have your own way of being funny. Not everybody is a comedian.

[Bigman117]

I mean ok but my voice is deep and seems like I'm down and mellow so people also look at me weird at that so it seems like no one wants to get to know me. Plus when I'm at a party I'm so closed off becuase my anxiety is at its worse.

[btbc92]

@Bigman117 Actually women are attracted to deep voices, so that's not even an issue. Its the fact that your not confident in your own skin as a person. You can't give up and you have to actually put more effort in yourself. And besides stay away from parties. Your an introvert trying to be an extrovert. That's what it sounds like.

[Bigman117]

Yeah because the only way for me to even life a normal life is becoming an extrovert since it's like 80% of the population. Also being short (5'6) is not helping me either which adds fuel to the fire.

[btbc92]

@Bigman117 That doesn't make you normal. I'm an Introvert as well. Extroversion is preferred not normal. You can't just switch who your born as. You can't changed how you grew up, you just move forward with life. What your doing is another ticket for you being miserable and that leads to being fake by many of people who won't accept you for the real you. And you end up pushing away good people who may want to know the real you. Then when the real you gets caught, the others that thought you were different will just dump you and you'll be alone all over again. Its not worth it.

[Sinistra]

Inferior? According to who or what?

1. I have social anxiety - that's non of your fault. Anxiety is an illness and it can be triggered by a lot of things, but stays because of chemical imbalances in brain. It's managable very well as there are good treatment ways, so no worries.
2. I'm shy - Shy guys can be very cute! ;)
3. I have ZERO confidence in myself - Maybe you had a serious emotional trauma in your life which unconsciously lead to this feeling? Start integrating them. (I'm not a doctor but I know a good technique which I also learnt from a counsellor, feel free to write me a pm if you'd like so ;) )
4. I have no talent - That's impossible, everyone has talents, but some it's difficult to be found. Maybe you'd excell at things which are not so popular, but still be very good at and enjoy it, too.
5. I'm not a funny guy like most guys - And you don't have to be. It's good to have a bit sense of humour but that doesn't mean you have to joke around and giggle all the time like someone who is high from weed. :)
6. I can;t express myself - It can be manageable very well. Expression and communication skills, you are not born with that, it must be acquired.
7. I have depression - Same as #1. :)
8. I don't have a girlfriend - I don't know how old are you but I'm sure you're not late at anything. Rather not rush than find someone with who you're absolutely uncompatible or unhappy.
9. I compare myself to other people - It can be a good point and a great mistake as well. Don't compare to others for putting yourself down, however, it can be even useful, too, if you use this comparison for motivation.
10. I feel/look ugly - There is no objective standards to beauty, I'm sure there would be girls in the world who'd see you attractive. However, self-confidence is VERY attractive, regardless of looks! :D

[TiffyPuff]

Okay, good feelings only come after good actions. Actions happen first, feelings come later.

Decide what kind of good actions you want to take and then do them. Want to feel confident? Choose an action that makes you nervous and do it anyway. Then do it again. And again. Confidence will develop.

You want to have a girlfriend? Well, you have to talk to girls and ask them out. There's no other way. Perform the action, get the result.

Start with small things and build up to bigger ones. Learn to swim in shallow water before diving into the deep end of the pool.

Life is about choosing to do things. It's also about choosing values, something bigger than yourself, and choosing to do things that support those values (or to avoid doing things that would violate those values).

Write down your values. Figure out what you're about. Then do things to make them real. Stop thinking about yourself. Start thinking about your values.

[ayylamo]

I'm in a similar boat and I'm trying hard not to dwell so much on negative emotions since it doesn't get me anywhere. The more I think about all the 'normal' things I've been missing out on the worse I feel. I know that's not a solution, but it's a way to lessen the pain. I don't know what else to do at this point.

[Cosytoasty]

Find something to do and get good at it. You think you have no talent but you can learn to become better.

Go to the gym and workout, it directly fixes 2, 3, 4, 9, 10 and it indirectly solves 1, 7, 8.

[LoveHolyGod]

I used to honestly feel similar. I actually only felt better when I started asking God for direction in life. He led me to Jesus and to believe in Him and know God wants us to have truth, peace and know we are loved. I pray this for everyone, God bless!

[relaxrelax]

your issue is belief those 10 things don't matter except having a girlfriend
what is your belief?

1. I have social anxiety
2. I'm shy
3. I have ZERO confidence in myself
4. I have no talent
5. I'm not a funny guy like most guys
6. I can;t express myself
7. I have depression
8. I don't have a girlfriend
9. I compare myself to other people
10. I feel/look ugly

[rjroy3]

That doesn't make you inferior. I'm more curious when do you feel inferior?

[alexmbayo]

bro, im in the same exact booat as you. im me.