What’s wrong with me and why do I hate myself so much?

[Anonymous]

My entire life I’ve always been insecure, however as I’ve gotten older it’s only become worse. I’m always upset with myself and I never want to eat anything because it makes me feel so disgusting. I constantly weigh myself every single day and obsess over it. It’s funny because even though I’m 5’8 and 125 pounds I never feel skinny enough no matter what. I feel like an awful person because I’m constantly upset and petty towards my boyfriend due to how insecure I am and I don’t even mean to be, it’s just because I lack acceptance for myself so im always sad. I was just crying tonight and I looked at my boyfriend and just said “please help me.” And he told me “I don’t know how to help you, I keep trying.” Which is true, it seems like no matter what he says I still hate myself at the end of the day. When I put clothes on I feel super disgusting and im always insecure in what im wearing. It doesn’t help much that my boyfriend is about 5’10 and pretty much the same weight as me so it makes me pretty insecure as well. I just wish I could stop this but it seems that as I get older it only gets worse and I start to take it out on others and just cry 24/7

[magickite]

My first piece of advice: ditch the scales.

Honestly. Without the temptation to weigh yourself every day, you’ll soon learn to focus on other things.

I was exactly the same as you, I felt gross in whatever I wore and I hated the way I looked/my weight was never ideal. I always compared myself to others. As soon as I ditched the scales, I found I had nothing to “confirm” my self loathing.

Your weight does not define you. It is a number, and it’s a number that looks one way for one person but a completely different way for others. I have never been a ‘skinny skinny’ girl and I envied those girls who looked good in anything. But let me tell you, being 30 now, it doesn’t matter what you weigh. You learn what looks good on you and you learn what doesn’t. So many people who I envy, turn around and tell me they envy my curvier body. No person is ever happy with the way they look. Don’t compare yourself, love the body you have.

You have a boyfriend who clearly adores you and loves you for who you are and what you look like. He feels helpless because he can’t support you and help you through what you’re feeling. But in fact, by being with you and loving you he is helping you. Please do not push him away because you will one day regret it and you’ll wish you spent more time focussing on the love you both have for each other.

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. For five years he told me every day how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. All I did was push back his compliments and reject them. I regret that so much.

Go and give your boyfriend the biggest hug and thank him for the way he supports you without realising. Moving forward, ditch the scales and learn to love your body just the way it is. You’re beautiful.

[Asker]

I just read this and it made me cry because you wrote this so beautifully it hit my soft spot. This really meant a lot to me and thank you so much, you couldn’t have explained this in any better way. <3

[Anonymous]

Self esteem and just a habit of hating yourself regularly!

Every day I see my tummy I say how fat I am...

Now saying I look pretty the positivity slowly helps some!

My hubby can't help he treasures my e but I'm always hating myself makes him cry that I can't see how pretty I am and his words mean nothing...

Probably going to lose that boyfriend 😔

[DerekC321]

You just need to tell yourself that you're a good person. A bad opinion of yourself is a viscous cycle and hurts your self image. I've been there.