tldr my mom force fed me. I was 200lbs in grade school then 300+ by high school. I dropped to 170lbs. My body is ruined mostly because of the weight from childhood. I hate my parents for the body I have and I want to get surgery to correct it, I hate myself deeply and consistently want to end my life because of my body.
My mom would dress me poorly and over feed me to the point of making me 200+ lbs by the time I was in 5th grade. I couldn’t run or play like the other kids and I didn’t understand why I was so different. Once I get near late middle school I struggle to change my weight. My mother made me sit and eat no matter how much I cried I wasn’t hungry my stupid mother I HATE her 300+lbs now. I had no idea where to start and my mother constantly undermined me. I was ridiculed by most people and was robbed of my childhood and teen years. I managed to starve myself (last resort) dropped to 170 in less than a year. I could move I felt free. I had some loose skin but I felt like I looked okay. I loved my new face. I meet my husband we have two kids. I gained 80lbs from that and lost 60lbs of it…. but this time everything looks saggy…like the first time I lost weight but now it’s significantly worse. I hate them for making me gain so much and I hate them for the ugly genetics. My nipples are most of my small breast. Uneven and saggy. My stomach and arms saggy. I begged my husband for surgery and he agreed but I have to wait. I hate my body so much it stops me from enjoying anything. The more I lose the saggier I get the worse I feel. I imagine what I would have looked like if my parents were more responsible and caring (all of my siblings got to do sports aside from me plus everything else) it makes me so unbelievably angry. I’ll have to pay to have the body I should’ve simply grown into. I’m paying to be a Frankenstein version of the girl I desperately want to be. I hate it I hate it I fucking hate it.
