I'm 19 and have struggled with an eating disorder for 5 years. I have gained 100 lbs and I'm so disgusted with myself. I never thought I would be obese. I never go out in public because I'm so embarrassed of how I look. I probably haven't hung out with friends in over a year because I stay in the house because of how big I am. I write fat, disgusting, ugly etc on my arm so when I reach for food I won't get it so I'm reminded why I don't need food. I don't deserve it. I feel ugly and won't feel beautiful again until I'm skinny. Im so hideous and unattractive right now and I genuinely hate myself for it. I get really angry with myself if I don't lose the amount of weight I want to lose in a week. I seriously feel worthless and that I look repulsive. I'm really hard on myself but it should be better than me laying around and not working out and eating healthy. I've lost 40 lbs and I'm not proud of it because I haven't reached my goal. Everyone tells me I shouldn't live like this. What is wrong with me thinking like this?
I dont think there is anything wrong with disliking how you look, especially if its gonna drive you to become healthier. But hating yourself isn't gonna help you at all, you are making progress and you should be happy about that. Just keep doing what you're doing and someday you'll reach your target weight.
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I am struggling a little with my own weight and it has made me feel like crap, but just remember to love yourself and think positively. The positive thinking, exercise and healthy eating will help you obtain your goals.
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There's nothing wrong with not liking how you look, however, it depends on who it is that you're comparing yourself to.
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