I don't... I don't even know ever since I was a young kid, I just hated feminine clothing, it didn't suit my personality, I always hated wearing fairy dresses and always played with toy cars and wore casual clothes like shirts and pants. At school, I wore the male uniform because I was allowed too but the dresses at school, they didn't make me that uncomfortable, a bit weird... they made me feel like an anime girl.. eh but then again I couldn't do parkour in it.
Anyway, I am starting to question my gender now, because why do I hate feminine clothing so much, even at a young age when I was forced to wear makeup, I hated it, and I never wear makeup, it feels so weird on my skin and I can't eat when I wear makeup. Anyway recently I was invited to a cocktail party, and mum gave me dresses to try out, I put one on and I hated it, I got so much attention from my family, my mum and brother calling me a queen and princess and I hated it, it felt so weird, I hated the attention, I hated how the dress didn't fit my personality... and then I put on the other one and mum said "red makes you look sexy" and I just felt even worse, just what the hell is wrong with me.
Women are supposed to like dresses and those compliments but I hated them and I don't know maybe I just hated the attention, but I just don't see how femininity suits my personality, something about wearing a dress makes me feel less like myself, I don't want to say weak because femininity isn't weak, but it just isn't... me? and it should be me because I'm a bloody girl for christ sake? now I'm worried my family thinks that I maybe trans and maybe I am trans, somethings seriously wrong with me.
Anyway, I am starting to question my gender now, because why do I hate feminine clothing so much, even at a young age when I was forced to wear makeup, I hated it, and I never wear makeup, it feels so weird on my skin and I can't eat when I wear makeup. Anyway recently I was invited to a cocktail party, and mum gave me dresses to try out, I put one on and I hated it, I got so much attention from my family, my mum and brother calling me a queen and princess and I hated it, it felt so weird, I hated the attention, I hated how the dress didn't fit my personality... and then I put on the other one and mum said "red makes you look sexy" and I just felt even worse, just what the hell is wrong with me.
Women are supposed to like dresses and those compliments but I hated them and I don't know maybe I just hated the attention, but I just don't see how femininity suits my personality, something about wearing a dress makes me feel less like myself, I don't want to say weak because femininity isn't weak, but it just isn't... me? and it should be me because I'm a bloody girl for christ sake? now I'm worried my family thinks that I maybe trans and maybe I am trans, somethings seriously wrong with me.
Updates
+1 y
.. or maybe I just am kinda like a hiding it or something where I just don't like being seen as feminine but I secretly like it? but I just don't like others seeing me; a tough tomboy being all feminine, except I don't think I'm hiding it.
Updates
+1 y
I think I genuinely don't like it. I'm old enough to like that stuff. And the weird thing is, I may not be the most feminine, but I am quite boy crazy, but understandably boys don't go for someone like me because I'm so god damn masculine, and I just can't stop
