Guys teasing/ flirting at work, why do you do it?

[Lioness]

I have this co-worker who keeps teasing me at work, he takes my pens while I'm watching and then smiles and puts them back... He touches my arm when passing by, and yesterday he came in to my office and started singing a country song that was playing on his phone like to me lol and then proceeded to mess with my chair. We have been out a few times ( once a date) and two were bday parties for co-workers we have kissed at all of them but he told me he likes not having pressure in his life other then his job... I mean what does he want from me?

Updates

+1 y

He's also always saying I'm too thin I need to eat more in a joking way... He's trying to plump me up?

[SomeGuy37]

I flirt with two, at work, that are kind of timid, and unsure. I make them smile, and laugh, at my little jokes, or puns. They don't seem like they have a lot of friends, as they have only pics of family in their cubes. They are both REALLY attractive, and I wonder why they don't have at least a half-dozen guys asking them out!!
I'm almost old enough to be their father, so I kind of just tease them, like a big brother, and talk with them, and ask them about them, and what they like, and so on.
Both seem to like the attention, and some of the older, married women have commented that these two have asked about me, and if I am married, or dating, or whatever. Not interested in a relationship with either, but they are interesting, and like kind of unusual things that I can talk about, with them.
Sometimes I make comments on what they wear, like one was wearing a flannel button shirt, Friday, and I said that she looked so "Minnesota", making her laugh.
Another time, one was wearing a slightly low-cut top, and I saw her, and said "Oh, my god!! Your Epidermis is showing!!" and it freaked her out!!
The 'Epidermis' is your skin!! She kind of blushed, and stuck her tongue out, when I explained it! :)
Flirting is great, if it is all in good fun, among friends that understand.

[larkofox]

Two answers, both equally likely both have the same result.

1. He wants you to be his friends with benefits. He’s among for low stress relationship, and has probably had some seriously high maintenance girlfriends before. Relax, and decide what you want out of it, and make it clear what you want. If he isn’t interested in that then leave it be and ask him to stop pressing his luck ;)

2. He really likes you but is hoping you’ll be a girl-friend. He is looking for a girl that is exactly how you are now. A show up, have fun and undemanding kind of girl. At the end of the day he doesn’t really want 4 hour phone calls or an ultimatum that you will talk EVERY day no matter what. Low key. Relax, and decide what you want out of it, and make it clear what you want. If he isn’t interested in that then leave it be and ask him to stop pressing his luck ;)

[Lioness]

I think it's a combo of both.

[Anonymous]

For me it looks like more physical attraction than emotional or romantic.
I feel like when guys say something about your body, many times its because they actually think about it in some way.
He kinda wants you I think.

[Lioness]

Well yeah... He's a guy soo he's gonna want sex.

[Opinion Owner]

yes, but with you.

[Lioness]

Yes...

[vishna]

Lol, you know what he wants.
I don't flirt at work, but I do talk and joke with a male colleague, it's just fun and not touchy touchy or risque.

[Lioness]

I know he would say yes to sex, what guy wouldn't?

[mwin2030]

I believe mostly it is about convenience. I’m not sure about the whole of people in the work force, but from my experience and what I’ve witnessed over the years, most people spend more time at work then they do at home, or sleeping, or any other activity. Most of us spend either part of the time traveling to work and stuck in traffic, or we spend the greater part of the day in the office doing the work we’re being paid for, and since we spend so much time at work, we begin looking at our co-workers as potential relationship partners and sexual exploits. I really believe it simply comes down to the simple idea of convenience and not having the time to socialize outside of work, like going to clubs or social gathers to meet potential relationship and sexual partners, and since we don’t have time for those, we turn to what we know as the familiar, which is the people we work with every day. That’s my bottom line.

[Lioness]

I think a lot of people find their SO through work but mostly in HS or College.., some work out, some don't. In the end it's right time right place I believe.

[mwin2030]

That is possible right up there with it all as well. Two people being in the right place at the time time, but again where does most of that take place----at work. Yeah, you get some at school or college, but just like most relationships much of those don't work out all the time and then where do you go to find your next relationship. Again---at work. Although with the invent of the Internet and social media, this is beginning to change as people turn to modern technology to find their S/O.

[Lioness]

My company has a strict policy against dating

[mwin2030]

Yeah; so do most companies, but very few actually follow rules like that. Especially once they are "off" the clock.

[Lioness]

Mine does... They transferred a girl to another location After finding out she was dating someone there.

[mwin2030]

Then I would say the company you work for is the Exception and not the Rule in general. Most companies don't "police" their employees that closely. Outside government work usually that is in my experience.

[Lioness]

That's true...

[RalphBlack]

Well, in my experience I liked this girl a lot at work but at that time she had a boyfriend and I just enjoyed having a beautiful friend that was a friend to talk to. We flirted but nothing became further than that until a couple years later.

At that moment in time when she was my co-worker I discovered a strange love other than a love that wants something more out of the relationship.

[Lioness]

Interesting... he said he liked me but I didn't catch on ( I was interested in others) and then it clicked for me but by then he started seeing a girl from his past soo I dunno is he just flirting out of frustration now? Lol

[RalphBlack]

Id say to not worry about it. Just go with the flow.
Let your emotions flow like a river
Let him know that you are interested and leave the door unlocked for him but also continue pursuing your happiness :)

[Lioness]

Thanks for the advice I'm just gonna have fun joking around you never know 😊

[RalphBlack]

No problem :)

[Lioness]

I didn't completely understand what u said... Are u saying u liked the girl as a friend or like a love interest?

[RalphBlack]

Both.

[Lioness]

So u fell in love with her?

[RalphBlack]

I sure did... and it destroyed me when she ended up destroying her life

[Lioness]

Oh wow, sorry to hear that 😔

[RalphBlack]

Its ok. Live and learn. I just wish her the best before her chance is up

[GraveTruth]

He may not want anything but there are a few possibilities.

1. He enjoys that you offer positive reactions to his personality traits. It could be true.
2. He is flirting and trying to do some relationship building. And I'd say he's doing well since you are thinking. :)
3. He's just a very out going person and does this with a lot of people without any agenda at all. Very unlikely.

[Lioness]

Hmm probably 1& 2... I'm the only one he does this with. He's a jokester but he always shows some kind of attention/recognition to my presence whether touching me, commenting, taking something off my desk, messing with my chair, etc... He's always commenting I need to eat more? And he doesn't text me unless I do and then it's pretty fast response.

[MrMysteryMan]

He just doesn't want to get involved with a serious relationship right now maybe. He probably thinks it's bad to be going out with your co-worker and it can be. But, it sounds like you guys are having fun, so try not to over think it.

[Lioness]

Yes true, there are a couple reasons here

[Anonymous]

Let me tell you something, a relationship with a woman is a lot of work for a man. We constantly have to impress, entertain, and pay for her. Guys would rather just have the sex and cuddling because it's less stressful. It's becoming harder to want a relationship anymore.

[Lioness]

That's sad... I like it to be a partnership and adventure. I don't need anyone "entertaining"' me thank you. I'm looking for someone to love and can return my love. I also don't need anyone paying my way.

[Opinion Owner]

But you're not like most women.

[frozenhorizon]

You kissed that guy from work while you were out at parties for co-workers, more than once? lmaooooo I bet people at your job joke about the two of you when you aren't there.

[Lioness]

Well they didn't see us lol

[Cali15]

He wants to have "fun" with you. Possibly see you for girlfriend material or sex

[Lioness]

Yes, we do have fun and joke around

[Cali15]

So he wants to get in your pants

[Lioness]

Isn't that a given?

[Cali15]

Yeah for sure lol

[Lioness]

Yeah no big surprise there! Lol

[Cali15]

And that's your answer

[Lioness]

That's always the answer haha

[Lioness]

I think he sees me as girlfriend material but timing is bad... Actually those are his words. Of course he wants sex, he's a guy that's always on the table 😉

[Cali15]

You get 1 chance. After it's gone it's done

[Lioness]

That's not true for everyone. Why only one chance?

[Dan2287]

He likes to flirt. Doesn't want to commit to anything just enjoys flirting

[Lioness]

I guess I don't get the point... I mean yes, sometimes but all the time?

[Dan2287]

I don't get the point either but I mean, he doesn't want a relationship and you said you don't want friends with benefits. Either he just enjoys flirting or maybe he thinks eventually you'll just give in and give him sex

[Lioness]

Yeah I get why he doesn't he has a lot going on personally... he knows where I stand. I'll just tell him out bosses are catching on lol

[Dan2287]

Having 'a lot going on' seems so cliche when someone doesn't want a relationship. He very may well have personal things he's dealing with but then why flirt like that. And tell him you're not too thin - he's just too fat

[Lioness]

Well I know he works like 60 hours a week... His mom is not doing well. I think he does like me but he got with that girl before I realized I liked him so now he feels torn... I dunno.., I'm just gonna bring up the fact our bosses are noticing

[That1tallguy]

He wants to date and have fun but not commit to a relationship.

[Lioness]

Yeah... I get that and I understand why.

[That1tallguy]

maybe he likes love handles so he wants you to eat more who knows or he could just be joking and not mean anything byou it

[Lioness]

Maybe he feels insecure himself since he's not exactly ripped🤔

[That1tallguy]

I doubt that's the case no offense but that sounds more like what a girl would think tbh

[Lioness]

I dunno I don't like that look... He called me scrawny though lol

[That1tallguy]

What look?

[Lioness]

Ripped.. I prefer husky 😎

[That1tallguy]

Really? Why is that you don't like a guy to be fit and healthy

[Lioness]

Not that... Just don't like all those muscles

[Keepcalm89]

Flirting is fun and exciting. It depends where you work and what you do. It helps pass the time too. Makes work more interesting and it boost you too.

[Lioness]

True... But it's constant and just me. I work at a dealership.

[Keepcalm89]

Yeah I mean he might be into you I say.

[Lioness]

He came into my department yesterday with his Country music, turned mine off and started singing to it... We were alone with the door closed and he tried to sign into the computer next to me but couldn't do then he just tried to mess with my chair while I was working... Until the Boss walked in ☺️

[Lioness]

It was like he wanted to work next to me... 🤔 I dunno I'm baffled lol.

[skeptic002]

he probably finds you fun and likes you to some extent
now how much I don't know

[Lioness]

I think you're right. Thanks 😊

[Decentguy]

never done that before.
im pretty sure that guy just wants sex with you, and nothing serious

[Lioness]

I mean I believe he does like me but yeah, he just wants light hearted fun this point in his life.

[jakebrake7]

Do you like him? I guess he likes you but doesn't want to commit.

[Lioness]

I do like him😒

[jakebrake7]

Yeah I think he likes you but only for the short term physical stuff.

[Lioness]

What makes u say that?

[jakebrake7]

The fact that he kissed you and told you he doesn't want a lot of pressure in his life.

[Lioness]

Well there was more to it then that... But yeah he says he likes not having pressure right now. He's going through some personal stuff with his family and he's seeing a girl he knew way back in the day but I'm pretty sure it's mostly sex since she has kids and they see eachother only a few times a month. I asked him to leave me alone but then I kissed him last outting and he started the flirting again.

[jakebrake7]

Do you want to have a relationship with him?

[Lioness]

I did... Now I'm just confused 😂

[jakebrake7]

You're probably confused because of his baggage. Make it very clear to him that you want him but only if he is willing to commit.

[Lioness]

Good advice :) you think I should ask him to stop with the teasing then? I mean instead of being with him.

[jakebrake7]

Yeah ignore him when tries to flirt again. He will get the message and if he is still interested he will make an effort to talk to you about it.

[Lioness]

Oh man I try... He's just very playful about it... Trying to get a reaction and damn it I can't hide my emotions 😎

[jakebrake7]

Just think that he wants to get into your pants and use you.

[Lioness]

I dunno... He stayed with me while I waited for my ride over an hour and didn't need to... I had my car right next to us I could have sat in. All he did was kiss me

[jakebrake7]

Trust me I am a guy I know.

[Lioness]

Yeah... I should just ignore him

[jakebrake7]

You are a beautiful woman you should be with a guy who is willing to commit to you.

[Lioness]

Thank you

[enis_Penvy]

Sex would be my guess

[Lioness]

It's like he can't help himself... I swear lol

[enis_Penvy]

Mr Happy wants what it wants 😂

[Lioness]

Hmm well I had a long talk with him about it and apparently he liked me but I never caught on or showed and reciprocation until recently but I was too late as he started seeing a girl from College but they are not BF/GF... Maybe he just still likes me?

[enis_Penvy]

So he's seeing her but they aren't a thing yet right? He still likes you and is either :
(1) wants you as a friends with benefits
(2) wants you as his main squeeze and will say bye bye to the other girl if you are in the picture
(3) wants you but since you work together he won't pull the trigger
(4) like a lot of guys he likes to play but doesn't want to get his hands dirty
From what you've said it sounds like he wants sex but only you know if he's interested in just a dip in the pool or a lot of laps 😉

[Lioness]

Haha true! Our company does have a very strict no dating policy plus his mom is going through health problems...

[enis_Penvy]

I think if you let yourself dwell on it, you'll know the real answer. Women are so much more observant than men it's frightening really. You probably know somewhere deep down what's going on, you just have to fish it out 👍

[Lioness]

He did mention that when comparing me and the other girl... Like I have no kids, she has 2..,

[rjroy3]

Clearly, because you're a lioness

[Lioness]

Haha well he must be a lion then 🦁

[sp33d]

It's all just for fun. Ignore his "life" advice.

[Lioness]

Yeah... He's always trying to feed me lol

[Anonymous]

Don't do it.. relationships with co workers cause workplace drama.

[Anonymous]

He want to have sex with you

[Lioness]

Pretty sure I already knew that 😛

[Opinion Owner]

You are hottie :P <3

[Lioness]

Thanks😘

[Opinion Owner]

Date me😘

[Lioness]

Silly 😜

[Opinion Owner]

Hehe 😘

[Anonymous]

he wants to be friends with benefits

[Lioness]

Because he doesn't want the pressures of a relationship?

[Opinion Owner]

thats what it sounds like
could also be that he wants to keep the door open for other women

[Lioness]

Well it's complicated... He liked me for months but I didn't return those feelings until recently but too late... A girl from College he used to hook up with contacted him and so he's kinda seeing her but not BF/gf soo he confessed he likes me and feels torn between us both now 😕

[Opinion Owner]

so i was right on both accounts?
but if he doesn't want "the pressure from a relationship" why is he kind of with her but not?
well you're gorgeous, and from what I've seen of your posts he's a fool for not picking you

[Lioness]

Because she's older and has 2 kids and lives further away so he sees her like 2-3 times a month lol

[Lioness]

Thanks for the compliments by the way 😊

[Opinion Owner]

well, he shouldn't string along either of you, thats messed up
he needs to take his pick and stick with it
in my opinion, you should force his hand
he might pick her, but at least the guessing and waiting is done

[Opinion Owner]

and you're very welcome

[Opinion Owner]

you dont look too thin on your profile picture
but its kind of hard to tell

[Lioness]

I kinda did... I told him to leave me alone out of respect for that girl and he cooled off awhile... But then we went to a bday party (separately) and ended up together within a small group and toward the end of night he was trying to feed me, had hit arm around my waist and grabbed my hand when we left. He did wait with me for my ride in his car for an hour lol.

[Opinion Owner]

well...
you could have told him no, or take his arm off of you
just saying
but aside from that, at the moment he's just playing both of you

[Lioness]

Well he's not getting anything from me... Other then kissing which is mutual. I'm just gonna ignore him anyways. This is too confusing lol

[Opinion Owner]

hahaha
"not getting anything except kissing"
silly ;-)

[Lioness]

Well I mean he's not getting sex...

[Opinion Owner]

either way
he's not a good guy for playing the two of you
but at least YOU know about the other girl
if she doesn't... shame on him

[Lioness]

Yeah I mean I know this is. Not what he intended... he liked me before she came in to the picture but I was seeing someone else and then left that and realized I liked him but he had already stated getting attached to her so it's like old vs new feelings I suppose? I dunno it's a mess I'm out 🤗

[Opinion Owner]

it is a mess indeed
and yes, pulling yourself out of it is the best bet

[Lioness]

Yeah I'm prob gonna have to say something though cuz he just doesn't stop

[Opinion Owner]

if thats what it takes
i mean, if he was that decent he wouldn't be screwing around with you and dating her at the same time...
that shouldn't even be the type of guy you want...

[Lioness]

It isn't... I think I'm just confused

[Opinion Owner]

if you just wanted someone to be physical with im certain you could find a guy who would happily fill that role, and without playing you in the process

[Lioness]

I think he's playing himself cuz he'll end up without Either of us.

[Opinion Owner]

maybe so
but worry about yourself first and foremost, and you deserve better than he's treating you

[Lioness]

Yeah I know... I'll just ignore him

[Opinion Owner]

sounds like a plan
i hope you're able to stick to your guns

[Lioness]

There's always plan B...

[Opinion Owner]

oh?
im curious what that is... :-D

[Lioness]

Considering is latest antics.. I'm gonna tell him our bosses are catching on.

[Opinion Owner]

oh
eh, i guess that would work
or just tell him that you're not comfortable continuing considering he's seeing another girl.

[Lioness]

I already did that... He was like, there is no label and just continued.

[Opinion Owner]

obviously you didn't mean it or you wouldn't have continued

[Lioness]

Well he cooled off a bit and then we ended up at the same wedding and got drunk... And all bets were off so then he continued again...

[Opinion Owner]

again, you didn't mean it :-P

[Lioness]

Of course the feelings are buried I can't just break free from them in not like that.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Sex?

[Lioness]

Well he knows I'm not down for that so he's waisting his time 😂

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Dope 👍

[Truthatanycost]

He's waisting his time? It seems you have love handles on the brain again.

[Lioness]

@Truthatanycost love handles? Lol

[Lioness]

@Truthatanycost phi get it lol