Why are girls so indirect?

Question

They talk about a guy they like to their friends and everything and then when it comes to being with the guy they leave everything up to him e.g they give all the hints kind of, they wait for the guys to make the move but they do nothing, I'm asking cause I told a girl I liked her and we kissed ,she started ignoring me and a few weeks later her best friend told me that she does really like me which has left me totally confused cause I had giving up on her?

hisangel · Accepted Answer

Because only men can be direct. If a woman is direct she is one of two things: a nagger or a bitch.

We are told that being direct is not a desirable trait in a woman. The most direct women I know are made to feel ashamed of being so forward. They are called "ball busters". I know men always say "But I would love a direct woman!" But what they mean is "I would love a woman to be direct some times and only when it takes the load off me being direct!" Cause think of the things a woman would say if we were direct:

"I think you aren't taking that new job cause you don't think you can handle it. And that's probably true but we need the money." (vs. "Why don't you want the new job?")

"Not only do I think your mother is a bitch but I'm pretty sure she was a slut when she was younger" (vs. "Your mom is an interesting woman.")

"No I didn't orgasm. You are really bad at getting me there." (vs. "It's OK. I still really enjoyed it.")

Women have the same disappointments, frustrations, and irritations as men but like you were told on a playground not to push the little girls, we were told not to say what we really think to the boys cause they have "fragile egos". But then that kind of thinking goes through a woman's whole being. She is indirect about most things because of it.

And also, women pick up on unspoken signals from their female friends all the time. When a woman says "What's wrong?" it's because she "senses" there is something off about your demeanor even if you haven't said anything. The problem with that is that we expect the men in our life to pick up on that stuff too. If we sigh, we think he should take that as "I am upset about something." or if we have certain body language we expect him to know that it means anger, frustration, irritation, or acceptance. Not cause we like to mess with you but because we look for it in others. We read our friends and boyfriends body language or subtle sighs.

So the girl may have been given you signals you weren't picking up on. But at least you know now that she likes you. Just tell her you need her to be more direct. If she is given permission enough times by a person she will be more direct with that person.

And next time she is being indirect and it drives you crazy, remember that indirectness is also why you find her sweet and kind.

lost-angel · Accepted Answer

I think most girls are indirect when it comes to "feelings". It's not easy to admit how we feel because we're afraid of what the guy will say, think, react...

We don't want to seem "easy", "needy", "clingy", or "crazy". Popular words used on women.

So we hold back.

Not all girls are like that though. I have a friend who is very direct about how she feels. A lot of guys like it in the begninning, but they don't stick around long.

So, that is why its hard for us to be direct when it comes to what's in our heart. We are more emotional than men are, and are easily hurt. Plus we are told that guys like challenge... so why make it easy for them and lose the fun?

As for your girl, I'm pretty sure she likes you. But maybe she's afraid to. I mean, she kissed you so obviously she likes you, right? If you really want to know how she feels about you, then leave her alone if she is ignoring you. If she really likes you then she will contact you.

FrustratedInLuv · Answer

It could either be that she "conquered" for lack of a better word and checked you off the list (which would suck and she's an idiot) or she got cold feet when reality hit, she got spooked and didn't know how to handle it so ignoring seemed like the only way to go. If you really like her and have invested a lot in her, give her one more chance but be VERY CLEAR as to what you want and if she can't give that to you, THEN move on. Good luck