Husband accusing me of hiding things on my phone?

[Anonymous]

My husband brings up in arguments occasionally how he thinks I got an "IPhone" specifically because it's easier to hide things on it. "Is that why you got an IPhone? Because it's easier to hide shit on it? " I never would of thought of that. I got it bc I liked it. I'm not hiding anything. I'm at the point where I want to go back to android bc it's freakin irritating to keep hearing that! What's his deal? Is he just that insecure?

[rcasper91]

I had some insecurities like this myself. not because of the specific phone she was using but in my head things didn't quite add up. to show me she wasn't hiding anything if I was specific about what bothered me she would shoe me right then and there. and if I was really worried about something she would hand me her phone and say go through it. after a total of like 4 or 5 times. my worries never really went away but I didn't really feel a need to look. she either wasn't doing anything or she hides stuff really well. my guess is yes he is insecure about something. and isbt voicing it properly. there is also the possibility that "Guilt has a way of spilling its self, when in fear of being spilt." meaning maybe he is hiding something on his phone and he is projecting that on to you accusing you because if he is doung why wouldn't you be.

[Asker]

I talk about divorcing and he says shit like "you're probably already cheating on me". He acts so insecure. I can't be on FB in front of him bc he gets all weird. (He doesn't have a FB) he accuses me of weird shit when we argue like one time I was at my moms and he accused me of not really being there. It's so irritating.

[Asker]

Facebook*

[rcasper91]

when it comes to relationships transparency is the best thing. if you say in going to my moms he should be able to drive by and see your car there. but thats a whole new level of insecurity. Do you plan to divorce him? he sounds very jealous which means he is probably controlling. if you're not wanting to divorce I'd strongly suggest couples therapy. otherwise a divorce might just be a better option.

[Asker]

We have been together for 4 years. We have a child together. Either he has deep seeded issues from his past and can't get over it or he is projecting guilt. I don't know. I even decided not to continue school bc when I would leave to class he would text me and accuse me of not really being there. Anyhoo, thank you for your replies.

[rcasper91]

oh see you shouldn't quit school because of his insecurities. Al3xisish he needs to learn to trust you. which is easier said than done. but you shouldn't let go of the thibgs you want for yourself to make someone else happy and comfortable. he should want you in school to achieve whatever it is you want in your life! and of course I'm happy to give my two cents. I've struggled with these issues on both sides trusting and being trusted. In the end though never give up something thats bettering your life because he can't trust you. I know its different with a child, but that doesn't mean you have to be unhappy to make sure he is happy.

[Browneye57]

Evidently there are some issues of trust in your relationship. Time for a sit-down heart-to-heart, maybe even a third party to mediate. If you don't clear this up your relationship is going to implode.

Just so you know, someone highly suspicious is likely doing exactly what they're accusing you of. Better make sure he's not already cheating.

You two need some help.

[Asker]

I know it could be him projecting guilt. But all he does is work and come home. I don't know how he could have time to cheat. He never goes anywhere. He doesn't even really have friends. He doesn't go out. He never gets any suspicious calls or texts that I'm aware of when he is home.

[Browneye57]

Sounds like the ideal life, eh?
This could actually be the problem - he really does need to have some things he does that are other than work. Everybody needs friends, and entertainment. If he's doing nothing working he's probably depressed and thinking you're living a charmed life, flitting about socially.
You two need some discussion time.

[Asker]

He does think that actually. But I don't see how bc I work a 40 hour work week just like him, plus I work from home.

[Browneye57]

Y'all are working yourselves to death. Get a sitter, take a vacation day, and do a romantic weekend get-away together. Re-kindle. Show him how much you love him and that you simply have absolutely nothing to hide. Guys are really simple this way, it's one of their 3 basic needs. The other two are sex, and food. If you're giving him all three you don't have time for anyone else, right? You can do this. :)

[SoulGirl]

Bet you he's hiding stuff on his phone!

This was a long time ago, now one of my first bfs always did stuff like that and bugging me whenever I even picked up my phone. "who u texting" bs
Meanwhile months later I saw from his phone he's been texting a lot of other women (we were all teenagers then) behind my back.

Im not saying he 100% is, but more than likely he's thinking those things because he's doing it himself. I don't know why but boys think it's ok to do certain things like that, but wouldn't be cool if his girl did it

Keep your iphone

[Asker]

Oh no since he wants to bitch about he can upgrade my phone to the newest Samsung 8 plus 😄 I know that you are probably right I just don't know how I'd find out. He doesn't give me a suspicious vibe with his phone. He will leave it lying around face up and there isn't any suspicious calls or texts ever

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply!

[evelyn26]

He has trust issues. Marriages and any relationship has to have trust. He married you so at some point he trusted you? I wonder what made him not trust you anymore? Guys think they can hide/cheat but their wives can't. He might be hiding something himself.
For me, I don't mind my SO to go through my phone. Why? because I have nothing to hide.

[Asker]

I don't have anything to hide. He is the type to go through my phone when I'm not around. Which is fine, but sneaky

[evelyn26]

Hmmm then he also has control issues. This doesn't sound like a healthy marriage. I suggest counseling.

[SarahsSummer]

unless you've given him reason to be suspicious, he's just really insecure. How long has your husband been this way?

[Asker]

He has been this way since the beginning. It's been 4 years. I have never cheated on him.

[SarahsSummer]

have you asked him where this is coming from? and told him its really annoying?

[Asker]

Yes. I told him. I do every time

[SarahsSummer]

uggh, i dont know if I could handle that. If you want the marriage to get healthier, you two may need to see a counselor. Not to get you paranoid but the other possibility could be, and I've read that often the suspicious spouse is the one who is trying to hide something.

[Asker]

I know it could be him projecting guilt. But all he does is work and come home. I don't know how he could have time to cheat. He never goes anywhere. He doesn't even really have friends. He doesn't go out. He never gets any suspicious calls or texts that I'm aware of when he is home.

[SarahsSummer]

do you love him?

[Asker]

I got pregnant 4 years ago and I decided to try and make things work. I have a deep respect for him. Because of the way he has treated me accusation upon accusation it has made me depressed and resentful. So , I guess, no.

[SarahsSummer]

and you have a baby together?

[Asker]

Yes we do

[SarahsSummer]

For the sake of your baby, you should seriously consider a therapist. Maybe he senses you no longer love him and that is exacerbating the situation.

[Asker]

He has done some emotional cheating on his phone before. Talking to women on his phone through his poker game app. Also another time 2 years ago a woman called his phone but the name had a mans name on it. He said he didn't know who it was but the woman asked for him directly. I don't know maybe he is the one cheating

[Asker]

I appreciate your replies

[SarahsSummer]

Good luck with everything. I'm sure it's very upsetting.

[OnisT]

he is either insecure or hiding stuff him self. When we are unsure of anothers actions we guess baised on what we would do our selves

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply!

[Brice]

Sounds like he's either got issues with being controlling, jealous and insecure or he is the one hiding something and he feels guilty and is projecting. My guess is the first one but who knows.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response !

[Brice]

no problem

[madhatters4]

sounds like he's insecure for some reason or he's hiding something and projecting his guilt on to you

[Asker]

The problem is I can't tell. What is done in the shadows will eventually come to light, right? It's not just with my phone that he presents insecurity with. I'm accused of not being where I say I am also when we are in arguments. As I've stated in replies above. Thank you for your reply back.

[madhatters4]

has he always been this way or just recently?

[Asker]

Always

[madhatters4]

well he may just be the jealous, controlling, possessive type... which is usually founded on insecurity

[Asker]

I agree. I just thought for a 39 year old he would of grown out of that by now. Thank you for your insight.

[lazermazer]

Lol, tell your stupid husband that it's easier to hide stuff in Android.
He seems to be very insecure.
ATTENTION:people who want to debate ios android pls don't, i won't reply.

[Anonymous]

Do you guys spend a lot of time together? And i dont mean sitting around watching tv...
Some men will always be insecure no matter what you do

[Asker]

We both work 40 hours a week. Plus we have kids. We don't get time to ourselves until after 7:30, 8 pm.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel you, my husband works 16 hour days 6 days a week and i work 40 plus we have 2 kids, so we barley see each other for longer than 10 to 15 mins, id say at least once a month set time aside just the 2 of you, the dating doesn't stop once you're married it just gets harder to do, maybe remind him why you're with him and that you love him

[douride2]

If you have nothing to hide let him look through it just to prove him wrong.

[Asker]

He takes it upon himself to grab my phone. And idc. I have nothing to hide. I just don't get it

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply

[douride2]

I feel for you. It must be difficult living with someone who is that insecure.

[Asker]

It has been. Thank you ☹️

[Anonymous]

Switch to android for time being.
To get the shit out of his head

[Asker]

That's what I'm doing. If he wants to bitch about it then he can upgrade my phone to the new Samsung 8 plus 😄

[Opinion Owner]

lol :D
Make him realize how dumb he is. Make sure to freak out at him. Otherwise he'll be a pain again.
Get back to iPhone once the matter is sorted. ;)

[Asker]

Lmao Savage! I just might 😜

[Opinion Owner]

Be a bitch to such brats :D lmao

[Asker]

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[Opinion Owner]

Lolxxx
Have a ball of a time !

[Anonymous]

He is insecure and you can hide stuff on any phone , he is probably saying that since he isn't familiar with iPhones

[Asker]

That's what I was thinking too!

[Opinion Owner]

Must have trust issues then

[BigBallerSodaPop]

Yea like that BBC you have in you every other Tuesday

[Asker]

Really? I was nice and actually answered one of your posts with respect. I don't appreciate you saying those things about me. Douchebag

[BigBallerSodaPop]

Yea right

[RydiiiS]

he's just insecure bc it is actully easier to hide stuff on android!

[Asker]

That's right. So maybe it's him who's hiding shit 🤔

[Will69]

he's hiding shit on his phone dats wut it is

[Asker]

So is that stuff you would say if you were hiding stuff on your phone?

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply

[Will69]

People that accuse people of shit are the ones that do it themselves

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Your husband is a silly 5 year old.

[User92]

He's just being insecure about the who thing

[Pizzalover101]

Then show him what's on it

[Asker]

I have. He has taken my phone and searched. Found nothing. I'm not hiding anything

[Pizzalover101]

Then tell him that if you can't trust me then how do I trust you if you can't trust me

[lareina05]

he's hiding stuff

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply

[consult]

which phone he use

[Asker]

He uses a Samsung galaxy s

[consult]

then gift him one too!

jokes aprt tell him if you have to hide there are numerous way

he also use password to phone that does not make you insecure

if he has doubt tell him be frank and ask direct questions and just clear it

your relation is pure to keep secret

[Asker]

We don't use passwords on our phones