I have been Both in different relationships. Girl 1 only talked about her emotions, which is fine. It was the way that she would want to talk about IT that would annoy me. She would constantly call me to talk about It.
Guys aren't wired that way. With Girl 2, i could talk for hours. Not only was i really interested in what she had to say, i felt honourd that she would share these things.
After Thinking about it i have a conclusion. There is a time and a place to talk about emotions. Too much is annoying, but too little is annoying too. If You can master this, you've found your solution.
It's more like if what they are saying are on a whole uplifting or adding value to life in general then it's natural to want to continue the conversation. But most of the time they just talk in circuses about nothing relevant and it simply wastes everyone's time and energy.
I've found some that I've talked to that really do listen to what you're saying.. only like few of them out of the some really have kept things in mind. I'm grateful to them either way, even the ones who try. Not all problems may be talked about but some should be addressed when appropriate and/or in a more comfortable setting (if possible... won't be every time).
Yes , men definitely listen , but we will also be thinking of solutions to problems , women vent to each other & feel better afterwards , men tend not to do this , as the male brain is more solution , rather than emotion based , women & men are very differently wired.
All the time. To the point I'm considering dropping a lot of friends who just use me as a shoulder to cry on but never want to hang out or have a conversation about anything else. Half the time the issue is some bad choice they keep making and refuse to make a change in their lives.
Depends. I like having girls open up to me like that, even if I don't plan on going after her. The catch is that there are certain problems that I'm just sick of hearing about.. or problems that I don't feel like entertaining because of how easily the girl could have avoided it.
Yea, until i get sick of hearing the same exact shit. Once i notice a pattern in the problems she tells me i focus on her "problems" less and focus on her "problem" more, and just tell her to do the same solution I've been telling her to go with for months, because i know she hasn't done it yet, and that she isn't interested in listening herself since she doens't try solutions.
Here's the thing. If you tell a guy your problem, he will listen and then try to offer a solution. When you just want him to listen, but not try to fix it, it gets too frustrating and causes him to not want to listen in the future.
Guys will usually listen if they know you actually want help solving the problem.
It seems as though girls when they vent often times are just dumping negative energy onto the ones listening. It kind of sucks your soul, so maybe that's why it gets frustrating when you're basically just a negative energy dumpster. No loss on their end.
Guys who actually care about love and relationships actually listen. Unfortunately, they are the 'Nice Guys' who often get friend-zoned at the end. Guys who are in a relationship for sex will pretend to listen and just forget. They don't care.
Call me a jerk but no, I don't care about listening to girls' problems (even my past gfs)
80% of the time the problems are REALLY stupid... to be completely honest...
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Some if they like or care about you... as long as the story isn't too dramatic most guys listen to my problems and try to reassure me everything will be ok. Then I've had guys disregard my feelings and be like "ok" or I get that "cool story bro vibe" also some have just changed the topic. Those guys aren't good for me
I've never had a guy care about me or listen to my problems. I've never complained to one because I'm already enough of an annoying burden. I came to the conclusion that I'm unlovable and that there's no guy for me.
I really like the problems to be listened and solved it to my best..
But what really matters is what kind of problem is that.. most of the times girls say problems would like lizard came, cockroach came, earthworm came like that.. to listen such problem not only boys even girls won't show interest.
I listen to everyone's problems if they bring it up, but I do have a soft spot for helping girls so I tend to help them more. I wouldn't be in a relationship where the other doesn't get you.
1
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Hm. Well a lot of guys want to explore my mind. Usually I'm opened and I'll talk about things from my past. BUT I've had some guys use it against me to hurt me even more. So I don't talk much. I'll mention small things but not everything if he's so desperate to know.
If i'm not in a relationship with the girl my patience to listen is very much more limited, however, I think its still about the same as my capacity to listen to the problems of dudes who i'm friends with too.
I have a few examples of very good listeners and even giving good advices. But I have some of my friends who are also so bad at it. They just don't listen. It's like talking to wall
To be truthful if u find ur real soulmate I bet you that he would keep u as his first priority and then the rest of the world. And only he will be the one to comfort you any time you need
He mostly will give a shit and will be interested in how you fell, if he likes you. He even maybe likes to talk with you about your problems, but that dosn't mean he will also tell you about his problems. Some guys just don't see the point in it and don't want you to bother with their stuff, but still are fully willing to hear you out.
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I have been Both in different relationships. Girl 1 only talked about her emotions, which is fine. It was the way that she would want to talk about IT that would annoy me. She would constantly call me to talk about It.
Guys aren't wired that way. With Girl 2, i could talk for hours. Not only was i really interested in what she had to say, i felt honourd that she would share these things.
After Thinking about it i have a conclusion. There is a time and a place to talk about emotions. Too much is annoying, but too little is annoying too. If You can master this, you've found your solution.
It's more like if what they are saying are on a whole uplifting or adding value to life in general then it's natural to want to continue the conversation. But most of the time they just talk in circuses about nothing relevant and it simply wastes everyone's time and energy.
circles*
I've found some that I've talked to that really do listen to what you're saying.. only like few of them out of the some really have kept things in mind. I'm grateful to them either way, even the ones who try. Not all problems may be talked about but some should be addressed when appropriate and/or in a more comfortable setting (if possible... won't be every time).
Yes , men definitely listen , but we will also be thinking of solutions to problems , women vent to each other & feel better afterwards , men tend not to do this , as the male brain is more solution , rather than emotion based , women & men are very differently wired.
All the time.
To the point I'm considering dropping a lot of friends who just use me as a shoulder to cry on but never want to hang out or have a conversation about anything else. Half the time the issue is some bad choice they keep making and refuse to make a change in their lives.
Depends. I like having girls open up to me like that, even if I don't plan on going after her. The catch is that there are certain problems that I'm just sick of hearing about.. or problems that I don't feel like entertaining because of how easily the girl could have avoided it.
Yea, until i get sick of hearing the same exact shit. Once i notice a pattern in the problems she tells me i focus on her "problems" less and focus on her "problem" more, and just tell her to do the same solution I've been telling her to go with for months, because i know she hasn't done it yet, and that she isn't interested in listening herself since she doens't try solutions.
Here's the thing. If you tell a guy your problem, he will listen and then try to offer a solution. When you just want him to listen, but not try to fix it, it gets too frustrating and causes him to not want to listen in the future.
Guys will usually listen if they know you actually want help solving the problem.
It seems as though girls when they vent often times are just dumping negative energy onto the ones listening. It kind of sucks your soul, so maybe that's why it gets frustrating when you're basically just a negative energy dumpster. No loss on their end.
Guys who actually care about love and relationships actually listen. Unfortunately, they are the 'Nice Guys' who often get friend-zoned at the end. Guys who are in a relationship for sex will pretend to listen and just forget. They don't care.
You should read the answer above yours.
@Nyx_85 I don't know which one is above mine because my opinion is always the first on the list.
Oh right I forgot it does that. The one from thatguyfromtoronto.
Call me a jerk but no, I don't care about listening to girls' problems (even my past gfs)
80% of the time the problems are REALLY stupid... to be completely honest...
Some if they like or care about you... as long as the story isn't too dramatic most guys listen to my problems and try to reassure me everything will be ok.
Then I've had guys disregard my feelings and be like "ok" or I get that "cool story bro vibe" also some have just changed the topic. Those guys aren't good for me
I've never had a guy care about me or listen to my problems. I've never complained to one because I'm already enough of an annoying burden. I came to the conclusion that I'm unlovable and that there's no guy for me.
Guys are awesome listeners! So are girls. Its about whether they care about YOU. Not whether the person is a guy or girl.
I really like the problems to be listened and solved it to my best..
But what really matters is what kind of problem is that.. most of the times girls say problems would like lizard came, cockroach came, earthworm came like that.. to listen such problem not only boys even girls won't show interest.
I listen to everyone's problems if they bring it up, but I do have a soft spot for helping girls so I tend to help them more. I wouldn't be in a relationship where the other doesn't get you.
Hm. Well a lot of guys want to explore my mind. Usually I'm opened and I'll talk about things from my past. BUT I've had some guys use it against me to hurt me even more. So I don't talk much. I'll mention small things but not everything if he's so desperate to know.
They certainly can, but only if they care enough. If a man (yes, a MAN, not a boy) genuinely cares about you he will listen.
If i'm not in a relationship with the girl my patience to listen is very much more limited, however, I think its still about the same as my capacity to listen to the problems of dudes who i'm friends with too.
I have a few examples of very good listeners and even giving good advices. But I have some of my friends who are also so bad at it. They just don't listen. It's like talking to wall
To be truthful if u find ur real soulmate I bet you that he would keep u as his first priority and then the rest of the world. And only he will be the one to comfort you any time you need
He mostly will give a shit and will be interested in how you fell, if he likes you. He even maybe likes to talk with you about your problems, but that dosn't mean he will also tell you about his problems. Some guys just don't see the point in it and don't want you to bother with their stuff, but still are fully willing to hear you out.