What can you do if someone refuses to accept your apology?

[Anonymous]

I said some pretty hurtful and mean things to the guy I like during an argument a few months ago (which I think he must've took as a rejection) after which he blocked me. A few weeks ago I texted him an apology to which he did not reply and a few days later I called him and although he seemed very happy at first to hear from me, he strangely ended up hanging up on me. I called him once again a few days later after that and he didn't pick up my call. I haven't bothered him since then.

I feel horrible for all the things I said and I don't know what to do now. I really love him. Will he never forgive me? He started that argument for no reason and was being very immature which made me angry and I ended up saying those awful things to him. Our mutual friends tell me that he's been very depressed lately and that makes me even more miserable.

[Tan96]

First of all it's hard to put an opinion as I don't know what kind of argument was that. In an argument , it is very hard to keep cool and understand what going on in each other's mind. It's have been much more easier to just see what's happening inside the head cause most of the things you think about and imagine , you almost never really speak it out loud which makes things harder. Other is that what kind of information is conceived and later how it is perceived by the other being. Communicate as clearly as possible.
As for this problem , first of all you should think if you'd switch places, would you forgive him if the same thing had happened to you. That's where you can start. Although I'd like to believe that guys are softer and would be willing to accept the apology if they really like the girl but they'll completely block you if they don't get the message from your that you really like them and I'd say you should better convey that message first and I'm sure things might go smoother. It makes it worse when they don't know what you really want them to know. Hope it helps!

[Nerdking]

Listen lady, you must have injured his ego along with his feels consecutively, give him time and apologize again being as sincere as possible if he dosnt respond then you must move on
Bc men are stubborn, and there's nothing you can do to change his mind.

[Asker]

I have hurt his ego i know that.

[Asker]

He's very stubborn and immature.

[Jordanc604]

I mean if you're saying he's immature, are you ok with that?

If you are maybe it's time to think of things from his view and maybe apologize in a way that he wants.

[Asker]

@Jordanc604 Obviously I'm not ok with the fact that he's very immature. It really frustrates me but you can't help who you fall for.

"If you are maybe it's time to think of things from his view and maybe apologize in a way that he wants."

I don't understand what you mean by this?

[Jordanc604]

He might be looking for like a full on apology in person for hurting his ego is what I mean.

[xxanna94xx]

@Jordanc604 So you think he won't reach out? I would have to initiate contact again?

[Jordanc604]

Probably won't reach out on his own

[Asker]

@Jordanc604 Because of his ego?

[bente2]

Don’t try to make him accept it. Simple as that. Tell him truthfully how you know what you did is wrong, tell him you understand that he isn’t very fond of you right now and give him his space to ponder.

[Vmm90]

You tried to make things better I must give you props for actually calling. I feel as though texted apologies are worthless so good for you for calling. Right now all you can do is give him time.

[Asker]

Yeah I was told that texted apologies don't seem sincere. He probably has no idea that it was really difficult for me to call him. I was so afraid of how he would react because our argument had ended very badly.

[Asker]

How much time should I give him? How am I supposed to know?

[Vmm90]

At this point i would say you've apologized and tried to reach out and this is going to be a practice what you preach statement from me but at this point I would say you should let him come to you if he wants you back in his life he will reach out.

[Cmasterson]

You just have to move on, if they don't accept it you can't force it at least you tried.

[sHiNii]

An apology is only truly meaningful when you understand and acknowledge your wrongdoing to the other person.
What works for me is:
1. Explain why I said/did the things I did.
2. Acknowledge the guys feelings in the matter and how your actions hurt them. (yes guys have feelings)
3. Make a commitment to improve yourself and (most important part) actually improve yourself.

If the person will not forgive you after that then that is their right. You can't force them. As long as you know you did all you could to make amends then the last thing to do is to forgive yourself.

[that1guy_123]

An apology is more for yourself to acknowledge your mistake she learned from it. Whether he cares if you changed or not is up to him. It sounds like he had other personal problems in addition to the drama here has with you. Give him space, check in on him bi-weekly until he's ready to socialize with you again. Don't pressure him. It'll drive him further away.

[xxanna94xx]

The strange thing is is that after I called him and we talked, our mutual friends told me that he seemed very happy all of a sudden. They were even teasing him about it. He was depressed before that.

Now two weeks ago, his sister told our mutual friend that he's very depressed again.

[the_esculater]

Apologies are not accepted because of what you say, e. g. sorry; I didn't mean it; it won't happen again; I feel terrible about what happened. They are accepted on observation of a notable positive change in character, perception or behaviour. If that change is not observed by the person who is receiving the apology, then they reserve the right not to forgive the one asking for forgiveness. I'd like to think something that you did or said during the call gave him a "more of the same" impression, that's why he hung up on you.

[ProfessorBoyfriend]

Just know that you did the right thing and move on. As long as you meant it, showed you ment it, and did your best to fix what you can, then there is nothing left for you to do.

[taleswapper]

You suck it up and move on, remembering what your heedless words cost you. Learn from this. Guys are just as prone to heartbreak as girls. Unless and until he forgives you (and forgiveness is just giving yourself permission NOT to hate), there's no point in trying.

[fredrick27]

nobody never say or do terrible things, you did your best, becoming proactive in this post argument, if he doesn't want to forgive you, forget it and move on, immaturity just doesn't work in relationship, feeling horrible doesn't define you, try to look from logical point of view will make you understand, sometimes take some distance from feeling is good for your own self

[Omar5881]

Well it happens , I think he should forgive you , just talk to him once again if he still didn't accept it then it's his problem humans make mistakes it's normal and it happens

[itsjoshua]

Looks like u have some serious grovelling to do girl

[Asker]

You think so? I don't mind grovelling. I'm at fault so I should grovel but he's a really passive aggressive kind of guy. He prefers to give the silent treatment when mad.

So I really don't know what to do now.

[itsjoshua]

Don't grovel then move on

[Anon-ymous1]

Nothing. You've tried your best. Nothing other than actually meet him in person somewhere and be positive and affirming and apologetic.

[winterfox10]

You just apologize and give him time, honey. He’ll get over it eventually, but you can’t force it.

[Yes-Man]

Nothing. You simply do what you can and then move on. If he doesn't forgive you at first 'try', trying any further will only irritate him.

[worldscolide]

I think it's time to move on. You have only your self to blame. I'm sorry I can't give you better advice but there isn't much you can do beyond giving him time.

[Sugisaky]

You do nothing, he already heard you, he needs ti resolve those problems, if you continue to talk he will be more upset

[Markella95]

Cut the cord his just playing games. You apologize few times and pout that somethings children do.

[abchef]

If you have really explained and apologized by your heart. Don't worry - its him who will feel the guilt.. M sure he will come can if he really deserves you

[Regular1]

All you can do is offer a sincere apology and move on.

[Anonymous]

Accept that you fucked up and move on with your life. Your just hurting him more if you keep reminding him about it

[bauky]

If he started an argument for no reason, he is not worth all the effort you make right now.

[Anonymous]

Just give them time and try again

[Scotian]

Easy... let it Go and stop dealing with them