Am I mean for refusing to apologize to someone demanding it?

[Anonymous]

This person has contacted out of the blues on FB and telling me about past events from many years ago.

The woman really believes I owe her an apology. I know what's she's talking about but I don't feel any regret at all nor care to be honest. If I were to apologize it's going to be forced and fake. Aren't apologies suppose to be given from the heart?

Am I mean for refusing to give her the apology she's demanding? I don't feel it.

Yes, still apologize even if you don't feel it

No, don't apologize if it's not sincere

Updates

+1 y

This was my reply and tell me if this was mean:
(Her name) why are you bringing back past events? Who cares by now. Do you realize we're 30 year-olds and no longer in HS right? Get over it. No offense but don't you think you're sounding like a pathetic right now?

[jennifer_bloom]

I know a guy who slandered me 900 times after believing a lie somebody told him about me. He doesn’t even know he lied because he is too self important to entertain a 20 second conversation with me where I could alert him to his error. God gave him an incurable disease that will one day kill him and his face is deformed and monstrous looking as a result of his disease. This is his punishment for telling me I was incredibly ugly all those years ago when I was actually five times more attractive than him. The lies he told are a hundred times more insulting than his comments about my face. So you don’t have to apologize, but don’t ask your church for prayer when something horrible happens to you, even if the pain lasts a very long time.

[Asker]

Honestly, I don't even believe in a god.

[jennifer_bloom]

Well do you believe in friendship and kindness? Just because something is not valuable to you does not mea it is not significant to them. I won't push my views on you. The bible says don't force people to agree with you, if they don't want to follow your views, let their circumstances guide them in the direction that is good for them, and they will draw their own conclusions in their own way,

[douride2]

Honestly I don't know why you even responded to her. You should bloke & forget about her.

[Asker]

I've blocked her after getting a nasty reply back from her.

[Ironco]

Never should have responded, she's getting out of you what she wants. Cut all connections, she ain't worth the time.

[Asker]

yeah I've just received an angry ranting message in response, in which she called me a bully and some other bad word. This has gone too far. I'm blocking her now.

[AviatorTom]

A demanded apology is not an apology, it's just giving in. A true apology comes from the heart, and is not demanded.

[AviatorTom]

Per your update... your response most likely inflamed a situation that should have just died. She is not going to be happy with it, and is likely to attack you back. It would have been better to say nothing. Sometimes the best solution to an issue is to just walk away.

[Asker]

Exactly. To be honest, all she did was reassure whatever I thought of her when we were teens. I thought she was a pathetic loser back then. Now I thought she was still acting pathetic.
If I really wanted to apologize then I would've been the one reaching out to her long ago and do it without it being demanded. If I didn't do it is because I don't feel bad at all. No regrets.

[OlderAndWiser]

In your reply, you called her "pathetic" and then you ask if you were being mean?

[Asker]

yeah I thought she was a loser in HS. I called her out on that once for good reasons. Now that she demanded an apology, my original opinion about her got reconfirmed. I still think she's a pathetic loser.

[OlderAndWiser]

Just because you have that thought doesn't mean that you need to express it to her.

[Asker]

Ok perhaps I got vindictive with that response. Wouldn't you think it was weird if someone reaches out to you on FB after many years, only to confront you about things from the time you were just a teen (a kid), not even an adult yet?

[OlderAndWiser]

Yeah, it's stupid, but I would probably just ignore it.

[Asker]

and now she has gone too far with her nasty reply in return. She just called me a bully and some other bad words. I'm now blocking her.

[OlderAndWiser]

Such a reply could have been anticipated.

[Zestyassmf1997]

If you accept that you did wrong in the situation, then the apology is sincere.

[Asker]

I just updated my reply to her. Tell me if I sounded mean but I can't help it. I don't feel any regret for everything she mentioned, none. I don't feel bad at all.

[Zestyassmf1997]

Terrible reply. You’re just making deflections and excuses. If the situation she brought up is a situation where you accept you were in the wrong, then you should acknowledge that you’re wrong and apologize. Whether you care about it or not is irrelevant. It’s not all about you.

[Asker]

Well I never really accepted being in the wrong in what she mentioned. I accepted no responsiblity for her claim. If I don't accept being in the wrong and feel no regret nor remorse for what she's saying I put her through, then how can I even apologize?

[Zestyassmf1997]

Okay, well then you should still say that you don’t feel like the situation was your fault.

[Asker]

She replied nastily to me afterwards. I got called a bully and other mean words. This has now gone too far. I'm blocking her right now.

[Jamie05rhs]

What did you do?

If you fucked up, you need to apologize.

Don't be so arrogant.

[Asker]

What if I feel happy about everything I did in HS and feel no regret nor remorse? If I don't feel bad, how can I even apologize?

[Asker]

What if I still think that woman is a loser? What if my opinion of her remain the same as it was when we were in HS?

[Asker]

I was a funny person playing pranks on certain people in HS. I wasn't a serious person back then and I really haven't changed that much.

[Jamie05rhs]

If you feel happy about EVERYTHING you did in high school, then you probably need to do some self-reflection.

[Jamie05rhs]

What do you have such a hateful attitude towards her? What did she ever do to you?

[Jamie05rhs]

It's good that you admit that you played pranks. But you have to realize that not everyone found them funny.

[Asker]

My dislike towards her in HS back then is because she acted like a Ms Know It All, snitch on a couple classmates cheating on a stupid test (unrelated to even our major or things useful in the future) and was too much of a straight-laced, Ms Goody Two Shoes type that it's annoying.
My current dislike towards her is because of her being stuck in the past and bringing back events from 14-15 years ago. Someone still lingering on HS drama has no life.

[Asker]

If someone didn't like my pranks, then that person could've told me in my face. No one was forced to tolerate them.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay, well, clearly you're not remorseful. And you don't sound like you're interested in seeing things from her point of view. So she's probably wasting her time with you.

[Asker]

She wrote me an angry, nasty reply after I replied back to her (it's on my update of my post) so I blocked her. Yes I'll be honest, nope... I'm not remorseful.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Well, maybe you'll gain some maturity later in life.

[JustinTheGreat]

I mean what did you do though? lol

[Asker]

Nothing. I joked around with some classmates in HS, things most do as teens. I regret absolutely nothing.

[JustinTheGreat]

I don't know girly pop, if she’s been thinking about it all these years, it’s sounding that you and your classmates straight up bullied her.
Getting bullied and made fun of in school can stick with someone for a long time…
you’re not wrong that you shouldn’t have to be forced to apologize. If you’re not sorry then you’re not sorry.
However if someone is telling you that you hurt them, you SHOULD feel some kind of sympathy. And the fact that you don’t shows that you’re the same bitch that you were in high school apparently

[Asker]

I don't see it as bullying though. It seems as if there is a thin line between joking around and someone thinking you've bullied them.
After I've answered her back with my reply from my update, she replied back with a nasty message. I then proceeded to blocking her. I must admit that honestly, I haven't really change much. I'm into the same outgoing, carefree person that jokes around with friends.

[Ironco]

I'm a gen x kid, we all bullied and all got bullied. None of as gave a shit. Let it go and if they can't, "f@#k em" suck it up buttercup.

[haklısınvolkan]

Heey