If apologizing is a sign of guilt, in what situation would you refuse to apologize to someone?

[SolitarySolace]

[ThrobbingMeat]

Well, imagine this scenario: You're innocently enjoying a leisurely day at the "Sausage Symphony Soiree", where the frankfurters of fun and the bratwursts of bliss are being celebrated left and right. Suddenly, while twirling your "trousers trout" in a delightful dance, you accidentally bump into someone, sending their plate of "spicy sticks" flying high into the air. But, upon impact, those fiery flesh wands ignite a culinary conflagration that engulfs the entire event!

In the midst of the fiery chaos, someone yells, "You better apologize for that!" But, my dear friend, you know deep down that your intentions were pure, and the combustion was a result of unforeseen circumstances. In such a case, you'd look them straight in the eye, and with a dash of charm and a wink, you'd declare, "My apologies, good sir or madam, are reserved for when my love muscle misfires intentionally. This here was a culinary combustion of cosmic proportions, not a fault of my trouser snake's twirl. Let us instead extinguish this flame with laughter and more sausages of satisfaction!"

[blueonblack22]

A genuine apology is when you say sorry out of principle vs. what you can get out of someone.

Let’s say you cheated on your partner and deeply regretted it. You regret it because you know it was unfair to the person you were dating or married.

You partner finds out and leaves you. Would you apologize just to own up to it regardless if they stayed with you or not? Or would you apologize hoping (and even expecting) they will stay with you. The former is genuine and the latter is selfish and disingenuous.

You can usually tell the difference in someone’s voice and body language. But one key indicator is if the person owns up to it and makes no excuses (what I did was wrong) OR if they try to blame you for something to rationalize it.

[Biancam13]

I would outright refuse to apologise if I feel things are unfair somehow, or if the relationship is unbalanced. For instance, if they kept accusing me of things I didn't do, and everything that happens is my fault according to them, even when they're in the wrong.

Then I'd get sick of it and refuse to apologise.

[LaurenM1997]

If I know I didn’t do anything I’ll still apologise that’s the kind of person I am

[SolitarySolace]

I was like that too once. Then things changed…

[LaurenM1997]

But once I realise stuff wasn’t my fault I’d take it back

[SolitarySolace]

That’s good. In my case when I made the apology because I thought it was the right thing to do that was that and I couldn’t take it back. Things were already set in motion. I had no innocent until proven guilty.

[LaurenM1997]

I’m sorry for all the things you’ve gone through

[SolitarySolace]

Thank you, @LaurenM1997 😌 You’re very sweet.

[LaurenM1997]

Thanks 🙂

[SolitarySolace]

You’re welcome 🙂

[LaurenM1997]

Thanks for the MHO 🙂

[OlderAndWiser]

Why is apologizing a sign of guilt and why shouldn't we address your assumption first?

[IslaTheWitch]

it's not always and not mainly a sign of guilt. It's more a consciousness that someone can feel bad even if I don't feel guilty. Or I know I crossed some borders. I still don't feel guilty because I know why I did it, but I should still apologize. Or I just know I wasn't right. Also, there is no guilt here.

[sawno]

It is a sign of guilt, thats why I'd never apologize to a hate mob if its unwarranted. Its a way of them trying to get you to surrender to their movement and if you do its blood in the water followed by demands on what you now must do to make up for it. Doubling down is a way more effective strategy especially if you can make them look stupid by comparison.

[Amy10223]

I’m not sure about your question. If I was in the right, and was apologizing just to keep peace, that would be wrong. If someone were upset about something that had happened and it was my fault, I’d apologize. Apologizing is not always from guilt. Sometimes a person just doesn’t want to lose a friendship.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Apologising is only a sign of guilt if she believes you mean it. Apologising just for peace and quiet is not a sign of guilt, but the fact she KNOWS I'll apologise for that reason is something that makes her laugh.

I often get.. yeah right, that apology sounded believable! To which I'd reply with something along the lines of. That's good because I worked on it for all of 30 seconds.

She's happy. I'm happy. no more arguing and that's the end of it!

[OddBeMe]

Tbh, it’s not really. Just a sign of submission or weakness. Which isn’t a bad thing. It’s polite in society to “defer” or allow others the “dominant” position- as in first through a door.

Bit apologizing isn’t even remotely taking accountability or assuming guilt.

[mobiusforniner]

I agree. Apologizing and being accountable are not the same thing.

[OddBeMe]

@mobiusforniner yeah I’d say it’s used more as politeness than accountability.

[7Phoenix7]

If I didn't apologize, it's most likely because I'm not sorry. If I'm sorry, I apologize.

[laly520]

I won't apologise if I didn't do anything wrong
I would apologise anytime if I am the one at fault

[SolitarySolace]

What if you’re not sure if you’re in the wrong or not would you still apologize?

[laly520]

mostly yes
it won't harm to say sorry since im not sure then possibly I made a mistake whether big or not

[SolitarySolace]

I apologized when I was accused of doing something I wasn’t sure I actually did or not and by doing so confirmed a sense of guilt which led to an ex parte PPO and threat of jail time. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[SolitarySolace]

In other words innocent until proven guilty didn’t apply to me

[laly520]

this is wrong n unfair, u didn't deserve any of it

[SolitarySolace]

You’re right, I didn’t. But it still happened. Can’t blame me for being the way I am. Unsure of everything. Untrusting. Afraid of being manipulated again.

[laly520]

u did nothing wrong tbh
what happened was beyond what u could handle
I can understand why u find it hard to trust others again, been in same position but it gets better with time just make sure to always be careful n dont trust anybody fully, people change n they r capable of causing harm

[SolitarySolace]

“It gets better with time”

It’s been 7 years sense it happened. After all that time what happened will always be ingrained in my mind forever. Time won’t change that.

“Just don’t trust anybody fully”

I don’t plan to. That’s why everyone considers me a misogynist or incel. Because I don’t fully trust women. After going through that.

[laly520]

doesn't matter if it takes 1 week or 7 years or 10+ years to get better
time heals no matter how bad it is, each one of us got their own pace when healing
took me over 12 years to overcome a certain trust issue I had, back then I believed it was over n thats how life gonna be, thats normal step of process n u r already going through it
good that u dont plan to trust anyone fully its safest option to go by
trusting men or women fully is worst thing one could do
whats more important is to trust more in urself, love urself n focus on urself working on urself

[SolitarySolace]

The longer it takes to heal, the more I realize I’m far happier being without a life partner. Looking back at my past partner experiences I was only unhappy. So what is there to heal and go back to after said healing?

“What’s more i or tent is to trust more in yourself, love yourself and focus on yourself working on yourself”

You have no idea you just defined what the MGTOW lifestyle is. 🤣 Yet you and everyone else who isn’t living the MGTOW lifestyle antagonize it as a form of misogyny 🤣

[laly520]

I was never against self-love or such lifestyle
what I am against is harming others, physically or verbally
as long as u r loving urself, treating it in good way n being a peaceful person then there is nth wrong with it
I noticed a while back from one comment of urs that u r asexual, made me wonder if u r aromantic or not? cuz that also could be a factor why u want to be on ur own

[SolitarySolace]

From my point of view you say one thing in one thread and something completely contradictory in another when discussing the same exact topic of the MGTOW lifestyle. I’m sure you, a completely understanding individual, could see that and change.

Yes, I didn’t know about the asexuality until my last ex 9 years ago wanted to have sex constantly and I immediately hated the process of intercourse. Which led her to cheat on me for someone who would give her a baby because she has major baby fever. Something women seem to forget they have. As for the aromantic aspect you’re probably right. My ex did say I come across as a robot. Unfeeling. Unemotional. So aromantic probably makes a lot of sense. Though I kind of already knew that.

[SolitarySolace]

I tried being romantic once. Made a girl dinner on Valentine’s Day. The next day she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. 🤷🏻‍♂️ I guess that’s just gods way of saying I shouldn’t attempt romance and that he made me to be aromantic

[laly520]

oh yes if u r aromantic trying to be romantic it wouldn't look good to the other person who is naturally a romantic person or at least not aromantic
from what I noticed irl aromantic people gets along the best with aromantic partners when dating n it works out the best for em that way
I remember watching a video about it before, the girl who was aromantic talked about how she kept having failed relationships with non aromantic guys n how they failed to understand her nature which made em break up with her or love her less
same with asexuality, vast majority of the asexuals I've known or watched aren't going for non asexual people only in very rare cases when their non asexual partner is able to understand em n live with it how it is
being asexual or aromantic or both isn't for anyone when it comes down to dating

[SolitarySolace]

I see where you’re going with this, and it’s not as easy as you’d like to think. The number or asexual and aromantic women out there is very slim. Especially if you account for the fact someone, in this case me, won’t travel or live in another place just to find someone who may be both asexual and aromantic. Besides I won’t leave the state my family lives in. Besides, for me if I were to attempt to date again I have a major type and that type includes strong moral values that women in the United States seriously lack. So me, an aromantic asexual conservative who opposes marriage and having children won’t be able to find that unicorn before the day death arrives. 🤷🏻‍♂️ so I say again, you think it’s easy to do but it’s not

[laly520]

def not easy to do, super rare to find a woman like that

[SolitarySolace]

Exactly, so mine as well stay single and receive hate from those who believe it’s because I am a misogynist

[laly520]

to be honest with u
at first I thought u r like that only cuz u r misogynist, didn't know much about u
now I see the real reason why u decided to stay single

[SolitarySolace]

🤷🏻‍♂️ Glad you understand that. Majority of others won’t.

[mobiusforniner]

I refuse to apologize in situations where one seeks my apology to validate themselves. In that case, my apology isn’t a sincere admission of wrongdoing but an acknowledgment of my submission.

[Dinklex3]

Apologizing is acknowledging you were in the wrong and hurt someone.

I wouldn’t apologize if I knew I wasn’t in the wrong and didn’t care if I hurt their feelings or not.

[JacobJordan]

I don't apologize. If I said or did something I meant to say it or do it. I thought about it and decided that I did in fact want to go through with it.

[msc545]

It depends on what the issue is and how agitated or upset they are. I have no problem apologizing if I think I was wrong.

[bobby_bush_eater]

If you don't believe you did anything wrong and you can explain your rationale

[TonyMetal___86]

If know that i'm right than i'll never apologize

[WhitneySnow]

Apologizing isn’t a sign of guilt

[CoolCatMar1]

If the person wronged me

[SolitarySolace]

What if they haven’t wronged you up until the moment they’re attempting to get an apology out of you to use against you as a sign of guilt? I’ve had that happen to me.

[CoolCatMar1]

I don't know..

[OtterMan68]

if I was not in the wrong

[strateguy632]

about money